#19/44 - “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on m-”/”That’s the one more thing I regret doing.”

TaeJin

Word Count: 1753

Seokjin had to do a double take as he took his first step onto the crosswalk. The red light of a hand print blinking before it changed to a countdown of numbers. He didn’t think that it was possible for him to randomly run into on the busy streets of Seoul, his old lover. However, there the man stood, frozen in place with what seemed to be the same shock mirroring off Seokjin’s face onto Kim Taehyung’s. Their eyes gazed directly into the others. It had been a long time. Six, seven or maybe even eight months since they had last seen each other.

His feet began to move against his will. He didn’t want to go closer to Taehyung, in fact his mind was screaming at him to turn around, to look away to not turn back. Except his heart had always been one beat ahead of him, one beat close to Kim Taehyung than he could stand. So here he was, only a foot step away from being on top of the man who had turned his life upside down and inside out, made a mess of the kind of man that Kim Seokjin was, aimed to be, knew he could be. Here he was gazing into those warm chocolate pools of deception, as seductive as they had ever been.

“Hi…” His greeting died in his throat, vocal cords congealing together which was honestly, for the best. What did he have to say to this man who still was able to sweep the breath out of him without even trying.

“Seokjin-ah,”

The intimacy in a singular greeting that shouldn’t have been said with such a fondness that didn’t exist within Taehyung. How could it? The younger male had proven that long ago. Had proven it when Seokjin had overhead, hah, he shouldn’t even be calling it overhead when Taehyung had answered his call. When he had heard the breathy hitches and falls of someone else through the phone of his boyfriend. He could almost visualize the sweat beading down Taehyung’s brow as whoever that man was moved in such a similar way along his lap that Seokjin had less than 24 hours ago.

Reaching a hand up, Seokjin rubbed his stomach, he was growing nauseous, every single sordid memory was coming back to him. The way Taehyung had in a breath and cursed ever so softly but still rang loud and clear through the receiving for his boyfriend to hear. It was as if he wanted the other to know exactly what was going on. As if he wanted to drive in the knife and twist it over and over again.

Yet here he was, standing directly in front of the man who had stolen his heart and ripped it to shreds so easily and his heart was just one beat ahead. As if… as if Kim Taehyung owned it. The longing he felt disgusted him and Seokjin really wanted to just tear himself away. He didn’t want to see the smooth sun kissed skin, he used to caress so gingerly, nor those stupid curly brown locks the man insisted on wearing simply because he could pull it off that he itched to feel beneath his fingertips. Seokjin didn’t want to become right back into the powerful vortex that was Taehyung’s eyes. They sparkled and gleamed with all the wishes, wants, false love that one craved. Offering to give you everything but never truly executing such a deal.

Taehyung’s large nimble hand reached out for his, the pad of his thumb caressing the top of his hand. It took more strength for Seokjin to remove his hand from the others than he would like to admit. Just standing here he was aching for the worst type of man. It was ridiculous but he didn’t know how to stop.

“How have you been?” The rich smoothness of his jazzy baritone wrapped around the elder like a gentle breeze on a summer day and oh how he wanted to turn towards it, embrace it.

“Fine.”

The words were ground out, terse, anything to keep himself from following the irrational part of his mind wanted.

“I…” Taehyung’s eyes hesitated, glanced away as if he was contemplating if he should continue. It wasn’t something Seokjin was familiar with and if he was a dog his ear would have perked up in intrigue. Kim Taehyung was overflowing with confidence, ease in whom he was, what he was doing in life and who he would be doing in life. A front. A front that was so strategically put into place that Seokjin could never find a chink in his armor.

Until now.

“I miss you.”

His own armor was battered, dented, rusting, he knew. Taehyung didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to see. That was, he didn’t want him to see. Three words. Three words were enough to knock the wind out of Seokjin and if he had wanted to flee before, he wanted to flee ten times more now. No, a hundred more times now. Stumbling back, he had forgotten they were already so close to the road. The bruise inducing grip that was on his arm, the blaring horn honking and Taehyung yelling at him was nothing compared to the hammering of his heart.

“What the do you think you’re doing, walking into traffic like that? Do you have a death wish? Do you hate me that much? Damn it Seokjin!”

The words barely registered but if the horn honking at him had truly been a warning as to Seokjin going into oncoming traffic then he deserved it. What was control? He had none, none whatsoever when it came to Kim Taehyung, clearly six, seven, eight months later didn’t make any difference. The grip on his arm hadn’t lessened, he certainly would have a bruise in the morning. Seokjin tried to shrug away but it didn’t work, Taehyung was still yelling but in frustrated, not with words just noises. It hurt, his arm, the pounding in his head, but mostly his heart.

Taehyung had him pulled so close against him that the outer layer of his skin was tingling, pinpricks of pain because he wanted so badly to touch the man again but he also rejected such a touch because it would be even more painful to endure. The touch of a man who didn’t care about you, want to be with you, love you to even an ounce of the way that he wanted to be with Taehyung, cared about Taehyung, is hopelessly in love with Taehyung.

This time he successfully shrugged his arm out of the grip, it still ached, he could feel each fingertip that was indented into his arm.

“Don’t. Just stop. Stop. For the love of god Taehyung don’t feed me anymore lies. I can’t,” His arms were flailing, pointing out any and all points of what the other was doing to him but it didn’t really make much sense to anyone but Seokjin.

“This fake act, drop it. You know what they say… Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on m-”

“That’s one more thing I regret doing!” They were shouting in the streets of Seoul, not a sight that was unheard of but one that was unseemly.

“I regret it so, so, so much hyung.”

Hyung?

He hadn’t heard that term in ages. It wasn’t something Taehyung had used much. Seokjin had let him get away with it. So hopelessly in love. Taehyung only used it when he felt insecure, when he needed contentment, comfort, something that he couldn’t find in himself. Taking a moment to steel himself and gaze upon the man who had turned his world topsy turvy, all Seokjin saw now was a small, young, beaten down maybe even a bit broken shell of the man he used to know. The bright smile was gone, the facade was gone, the fake bravado that before been rather adorable and still seductive in its own rights, gone.

What stood before him now was the ashes of the Kim Taehyung who had ripped him to shreds and maybe just maybe there was a phoenix in those ashes looking for a little guidance and forgiveness.

“This probably means nothing to you but I’m sorry. So sorry, a million times sorry and I-I don’t know what… No, I don’t think there is anything I can do to make it up to you but I want to.”

“Taehyung...ah”

And there he goes, doing things that he’s not supposed to be doing once more. Seokjin forever that heart being one beat ahead.

“Hyung, I just...I want to make you happy-

“Tae-”

The younger male held up a finger to silence the elder.

“But most of all I just want you to be happy. A-are you happy?”

Seokjin raised his eyes to meet his ex-lovers and the glimmers of hope that were there, true and honest hope for him to be happy broke apart the last of his armor. He didn’t want to shatter it, if anything he wanted to reinforce the other. He always had, hadn’t he.

“No.”

The shine instantly dimmed and Taehyung’s mouth made the shape of an o with barely any sound coming out. This time, Seokjin took a step forward of his own free will, no longer a byproduct of his fears or his emotions taking control. He reached out with his hand, with his eyes gleaming of their own hope, with his heart on his sleeve as it always seemed to be in the presence of Kim Taehyung. He reached out once more towards the turbulent man who had not only stolen his heart years ago but still laid claim to it.

“But, maybe we can work on that… together?”

His words were nothing more than a wavering whisper as his hand slid into the cold, shaking large hand of Taehyung’s he closed his fingers gently yet firmly.

“I-I have a lot to work on hyung.”

It was a question even if the words came out as a statement. Taehyung for once was asking, are you sure? Is this what you really want? Am I really enough? Do I deserve a second chance? I’m sorry I hurt you the way I did. It’s unforgivable, can you really forgive me?

I love you.

I love you.

A million times I love you.

I’ll prove it to you this time.

“I know, Taehyung-ah.”

I love you too, always.

A/N: This is the end of the series. I really hope that you all enjoyed these even if some where sad and other happy. Thank you all for the interest and warm comments that you've left me! I won't be opening requests right away as I have some other fics (longer fics) that I'd really like to work on first but I shall be opening requests on my tumblr at a later date. Please look forward to that. You can always chat with me on twitter as well <3

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