#11 - "Can't you just pretend to love me? Just once?"

Yoongi x You

Word Count: 632

Walking into that same dark room you had visited hundreds of times, you didn’t even notice the smell of old ramen, spilled Americanos, booze and smoke. It was just what the air smelled like. It was normal. It was Min Yoongi at his finest and at his worst. The lines were so blurred that you couldn’t even distinguish what was what anymore. Or you had thought you couldn’t.

This time though…

This time…

Your eyes saw through all of the fog, everything was so clear just like the water at the beach you used to visit as a child. Min Yoongi was Min Yoongi and he was never going to change.

Change.

It happened so swiftly yet could also crawl at the slowest pace possible or just stutter to a stop. You were going forward while he seemed to be spiraling backward. An impossible cycle that wasn’t helping either of you. Being with this man that you cared about so much, that you did whatever you could possible for was…tiring. It was tiring. He was broken when you found him, those glimmering eyes full of ghosts that you wanted to scare away.

For a while…

For a while you thought you had.

What a joke.

Nothing could chase away those ghosts that he clung to so protectively.

Fool.

That’s what the two of you were. For thinking this could work. For thinking this could be different. For hoping for a different ending.

For hoping.

Standing in the entrance way of his trashed studio, you gazed at the raven haired man with haggard eyes, lying across the couch, one leg fallen onto the floor, one arm holding a bottle, eyes slits as he barely looking at anything. His phone black as night, lying on his lap. He had called you. He always called you and you always came running. Cycle. Endless cycle. Sighing, you stepped over the trash, picking some of it up and tossing it in the bin. Grabbing the bottle, you tossed it in the trash as well. He didn’t fight you, he never did. Bending down next to him, you brushed his fringe out of his eyes.

“Yoongi-yah, let’s stop this, hmm?” Your words were barely a whisper. He didn’t stir but he heard.

Silence.

Silence.

The creak of your right knee as you stood back up, you had hurt it ages ago in gymnastics never to be the same again, was the only sound in the room. It sounded much too loud. The noise somehow set things in motion and Yoongi brought his arm up over his eyes, resting it on his forehead.

“Can’t you pretend to love me? Just once.” Yoongi’s voice was hoarse and gruff from lack of use. It almost sounded more like just a grumbling than much else but you heard. You always heard everything he said. Spoken and unspoken. The two of you had been here before. More times than you can count. Setting down a black plastic back next to the couch, you left your last gift for him. A drink for his hangover that he was bound to have. Walking back towards the door you didn’t look back. You couldn’t. He would never know but it hurt you too.

It hurt.

Everything between you two did.

“I tried.”

I tried to love you. You pushed me away. Jostled me around and pushed me away again.

I wanted to love you.

Words had always been left unspoken for you, he never listened to them anyway. Not truly. Pulling open the door you said one last thing to the man you had wanted to love so much, give your world to.

“Become happy, Yoongi-yah.”

The door closed, shutting a dark chapter of your life.

Dark but not one you would have changed at all.