Imagine Ten of You – Vanness Wu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjGAINzGshg

This was the song wherein Vanness cried because he remembered his mom. I used this song because the first words fit perfectly with this chapter: Baby, I miss you so much. But I know, I’ll see you soon. Just imagine he sang this because he remembered Baby Girl.

~●♥●~

January 2010

*VanNess’ POV*

“dude, good job! great performance!” one of the producers called out to me. “Thanks man!” I shouted back. I went back to my own dressing room and immediately closed the door and locked it so that I could be alone. I cried again on my first song as I remember her. I remembered the day I lost her. No, not lost her as in she’s dead, she’s missing and I know she’s alive. I could feel it.

Unknowing to myself, I took hold of the necklace on my neck and I began to reminisce the days that we were all together.

[the necklace: http://www.ice.com/pendants/fashion-diamond-pendant-prd_pdf_102625.jsp?srccode=cii_13736960&cpncode=24-101730852-2 ]

*flashback*

I was 9 years old when I learned that my mother was pregnant. Instead of being mad at my parents when they broke the news to me, my reaction was the opposite. I was happy. I was really, really happy. I get to be a big brother!

Months later, I went with my parents to check the gender of my new sibling. I had to stay outside of the clinic since I wasn’t allowed inside. I made my parents promise me that they’d tell me right away what the gender of the baby will be. Honestly, I wanted a baby girl. Yes, a girl. Weird? No. I wanted a baby girl because I want to protect her. I’d feel more like a big brother if the baby’s a girl.

I kept fidgeting on my seat or walked around the room as I wait for my parents. The secretary was looking at me like I was crazy. I can’t help myself! I want to know if my sibling’s gonna be girl or a boy! Finally, my parents came out with huge smiles plastered on their faces. Their smiles could even reach the sky and I knew what those smiles meant. We were having a baby girl! How come I knew that? My parents wanted a baby girl too!

We had to celebrate for that happy moment. We went to the mall and began to buy baby stuff for my baby sister. I was so excited that I insisted my parents that she would love this thing or that. Yes, I picked out things for my sister. She hasn’t come out of our mom’s tummy and I already love her. I guess even though she was still a fetus, I already loved her.

Every time my dad’s at work, I’ll be the one who’ll look out for mom. I had to since baby girls don’t hold that tight inside the tummy. I don’t want to lose her.

One day, as I was beside my mom on my parent’s bed, I kept staring at her tummy and said, “mom, when is my baby sister coming out?”. She laughed at my question. Goodness, how I miss my mom’s laugh. “Soon baby. Really, really soon.” she said. “Mom, you should not call me ‘baby’ anymore. I’m big enough already. My baby sister should be called ‘baby’ now.” I said as I pouted at my mom. “She’s gonna be our baby. Mom, can I call her ‘baby girl’?” I asked again, “sure honey. You know what, your dad and I are happy for you. The baby hasn’t come out yet and you’re already looking out for her. She’s so lucky to have a brother like you.” my mom said as she patted my head as tears were beginning to form in her eyes. “No mom, I’m lucky to have her as my sister”.

After a few more months, the unexpected day came. Baby girl’s going to join us. We rushed mum to the hospital immediately after her water broke while we were having dinner. I had to sit with my mom at back of the car while dad drove the car. I was guiding mom in breathing since she had troubles with it. As soon as we entered the hospital I began to shout at the nurses, “EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! BABY GIRL IS COMING ALREADY! PLEASE HELP MY MOM!” my mom’s doctor and some nurses came with a stretcher and brought my mom to the labor room.

My dad and I waited outside. Dad called our relatives to let them know that mom’s in labor. I looked at the door where my mom was brought. I prayed to God that my mom and baby girl would be ok. Dad came back with coffee on his hand and hot chocolate on the other hand and he handed it to me.

After 2 hours of waiting, mom’s doctor came out, “Congratulations! The baby’s healthy and the mother is fine. Do you want to see the baby?” the doctor asked. Before dad could even answer, I shouted “YES!”. The doctor went inside the emergency room and came back with a small baby on her arms wrapped in a pink blanket and handed baby girl to dad. “Dad, can I hold baby girl?” I asked since I really wanted to see baby girl. Dad handed me baby girl with the assistance of the doctor. She was so tiny, and looked fragile. I smiled when I was looking at her and she was staring at me, “Hey baby girl, I’m your big brother. I’m going to look after you all the time and love you.” I said to her. As if she understood what I said, her tiny hands reached out to touch my face.

The doctor had to take baby girl so they could be sure that she was healthy. We went to mom’s room and found her smiling to us as we enter. “Mom! I get to hold baby girl! She was really tiny but I held her carefully making sure I don’t drop her. Mom! She’s so pretty just like you! But she has my eyes! I can’t believe it! She has my eyes!” I went on and on and mom and dad just laughed as I talk.

*end of flashback*

Tears escaped in my eyes as I remember that tragic day. I lost her and I’m not giving up on searching for her. I need to find her. She’s all I have right now. I need to find baby girl.

I kept holding on to the necklace, “baby girl, where are you?” I blurted out in a whisper as tears continued to come out of my eyes. “I’m sorry for breaking my promise of protecting you. I promise, I’ll look for you whatever it takes. Just tell me, where are you baby girl?”

As I was reminiscing, there was a rapid door on my knock. I wiped my tears before I opened the door. When I opened the door, standing there was Teddy, one of my producers and great friend. He was also helping me on searching for baby girl. “Good news man! We found her.” He said with a huge smile on his face.

~●♥●~