Complete Honesty
The Warrior Ice Prince
The Warrior Ice Prince
Chapter 85 : Complete Honesty
Yoseob's POV:
He only looked upon her longingly. Only watched from afar even though he wanted to be near. Always hid so he wouldn't be seen.
Yoseob was giving the space that _____ wished for and even though it had only been a couple days, he was getting impatient, his natural trait unable to make itself small even when he tried so hard to.
Every time he would go closer, closer because he wanted to be nearby so badly. He missed just being at her side and this time away has left him listless and empty. He had taken advantage of that fact and only now he learned to appreciate it.
This was the first time ever that Yoseob had ever felt so much. Fought so much for something. Fell. And hard. Never had he wanted something so badly that he felt like he would die. How had he even lived before? A shell that knew only how to throw a punch and walked the earth's surface alone. That was what he used to be. But she, she saved him. Gave him life to breathe. That had come knocking on his front door without an invitation, but what he really wanted he could not have. At least not yet.
Why, oh why did he have to kiss her and ruin everything? Why couldn't he have confessed sooner?
Now, as he looked upon the beauty, he regretted, longed and loved all at the same time.
Yesterday, Tuesday and today, Wednesday Yoseob had not let _____ see him or hear him. It was like he disappeared. But he was there, close by, watching.
He would watch as she stared off into space, how she would smile and say hello to people that knew her. Then it would fade and return to that empty expression. It was unhappy and clouded with thoughts.
Yoseob sighed, knowing that he was the cause, but he couldn't help it.
As much as he didn't want to rush her, he knew he wouldn't be able to wait much longer. He prepared what he wanted to say already. It was ready a long time ago.
Lunch ended and it was time to go to class. He lingered as he watched her snap back to reality and pack up her stuff, hurrying off so that she wouldn't be late.
Yoseob stepped back and walked away.
Tomorrow, he decided, tomorrow I will tell her everything.
Your POV:
A sour note filled my ears making me shudder, blink and remember where I was. My harp in my hands, the bottom resting on my knee and my fingers that glided upon the strings, plucking here and there.
I was in a daze, unable to think or function properly and having to really try to pay attention in class. I was thankful that this class had no lessons for the day. It was free to be used to practice or clean our instruments. Since I had nothing to clean and didn't feel like doing scales, I slipped out of reality and into my vacant mind that was surprisingly filled with nothing.
The events that took place the previous weekend should have been plaguing my thoughts and making me frustrated at deciding what should be done, but it was like I had turned into the opposite of a ghost. I was there physically, but not mentally. Going through each day then forgetting what happened by time I went to bed.
Everyone chattered about to each other excitedly as they went about whatever it was they were doing with their instruments. It was so noisy, I realised. On normal days I would join them and not notice the racket that we made.
I brushed the tips of my fingers along four strings and the sweet melody helped tune the noises out. I re-entered the blackness of my mind.
I floated about as if there was zero gravity. Memories played all around me and I watched them as if I were in a theatre.
One of them was recent, having happened just yesterday after school when Minwoo came to pick me up. Another was of the last time I had seen and talked to Yoseob. My eyes lingered on that one for a few seconds longer than intended.
It stirred up hatred that he addressed me so casually. It revived the scandalous feelings of being caught holding hands by my boyfriend and it had me recall the last three peaceful days.
Only in here I will admit it. I missed him, Yang Yoseob. It just wasn't the same without him around to bug me or annoy me. I shouldn't be feeling that way, though. After all, I had a boyfriend.
And that boyfriend who I snuggled with frequently, but never got what I sought, just like that first time. Everything he said was not what I wanted to hear and no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I couldn't extract even one ounce of comfort. Not anymore.
There were three other memories that were each painful and had their own pleasures. That day, that one moment that the Ice Prince himself caught me after I ran into him. His eyes were guarded, cold and unwelcoming, but that day I stared into them and saw me, my reflection in them and more. Oh, so much more. Though I had known nothing of the stranger, I knew that it was him. The one I fell in love with.
First loves were always beautiful and I treasured it for those few moments before forgetting it all until later. That was when everything changed and so far, for worse.
The second memory was of those seconds before I had given myself completely to my boyfriend, vowing not to think of Yoseob, or anyone else anymore except for him. I had been weary, fighting and fighting with Yoseob in more ways than one. I didn't want to try anymore. I wanted to only stop it and relieve myself from the torture. The redemption was beautiful, but the process of letting go was not.
The final memory was huge in size in comparison to the others. It showed that kiss just after Yoseob's confession. It was heaven on earth and he was a fallen angel who lost his way roaming the world to find me. It was like it was his whole purpose of coming here. It had been a fiasco of vibrant colours and lights and explosions galore. It in itself was beautiful, but being blissfully ignorant of everyone and everything costed me a hard slam back to the real world.
You will not hurt me again.
"_____? It's time to pack up." Tapping my shoulder, Minhyuk smiled softly.
"Oh, I didn't realise it was the end of class. Thanks." I smiled back and he left to put away his drums.
I placed the harp back in it's case and brought it to a room, putting it on a shelf for safe keeping and where I know I'll find it tomorrow. Class was dismissed and I left bidding our teacher a good afternoon and saying goodbye to Minhyuk and the other three who were staying behind to help him clean up.
A text was sent to my phone and I read over it with an unchanging expression.
Five minutes, meet me where you usually like to eat lunch. If you don't come, I'll come to look for you.
Should I?
I bit my lip and contemplated. I guess he deserved a few minutes, right? I don't even have to say anything, just listen. He'll also come and find me and I knew that he meant it.
Besides, my voice whispered within my head, you miss him.
I made my decision and went to the courtyard where he was waiting for me. Once he saw me coming, he stood up quickly clearing his throat awkwardly and dusting off his pants to avoid my eyes.
"Uh, hi." he said, clearly flustered at how to go about whatever it was he wanted to say. "I'm surprised that you actually came. Thank you though. Um, have a seat." Yoseob gestured to the pulled out chair across from his.
I knew that this wasn't going to take long so I stayed standing. Seeing this, he stayed on his feet as well.
"Okay, so, I'm just gonna start..." I waited for him to continue, but it was like he came unprepared. It took a full minute before he spoke again.
"I'm sorry for that night. I mean when I kissed you. I'm sorry for everything, for each time I caused you pain or made you cry...I regret it all. I wish I had been better to you." It was surprising how clearly I could see the emotion in his eyes. It was like he was baring everything for me to see.
"Honestly, I loved you all of this time and I knew it, but I was afraid. You know my past. You know how much I trust people and when you came into my life, I was terrified that I would be hurt again. I...I couldn't stand it, that if I came to allow what I felt it would be just so easy to get in and strike. But, no matter what I did, this is where it led me. You're the only one who knows, who understands me. Only you can tame me. You are my light, my paradise, you helped me find myself. You gave me something to go after, a reason to live. Aish, no matter how much I try to explain it, there are no words that can say what you've done for me." He frustratingly shook his head, looking like he was actually mad that he couldn't explain it better.
I just stayed silent and listened, knowing and softening because I did know. I knew what he used to be, why he was like that, why he is how is right now. I was the only person who understood him like no other.
"That day that you told me that you liked me, alarms went off inside me. I was so happy. Too happy. Too vulnerable. I panicked and said all of those things to you, even afterwards I mistreated you. I hate myself so much because of that..." Yoseob momentarily buried his face in his hands.
"I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to live my life like that anymore. I'm not going to deny that Minwoo is a hundred, no, a thousand times better for you. You may even love him now and not me, but I just need to know. I need to know that it's not too late, that it's not too late for me." His eyes bore into mine, prompting an answer.
With everything that he told me and the mix of emotions inside me, I didn't know what to answer. I wished that I didn't have to. I wanted to say that it wasn't too late, I wanted to tell him to leave me alone once and for all. But it didn't matter what I wanted because either way, I was still with Minwoo and answering anything otherwise just felt like I was betraying him.
"Minwoo is my boyfriend. I will not cheat on him. I feel like I shouldn't even be here with you right now." I said, mechanically. My voice was cold and emotionless.
I wanted to stab myself when I saw his face fall along with everything he hoped for.
"Okay. I understand. Thank you for everything, really. Thank you for your time." His gaze dropped to the ground and shone in the light.
Yang Yoseob crying? No such thing. Never. Not in a million years, I denied the truth.
With that, he quietly retreated out of sight to who-knows-where while I remained planted in that spot before eventually fleeing the scene as well.
Wow, I have to say that I'm surprised that the majority of those that voted wanted to keep the font colours as they are.
I know that coloured texts can be annoying (especially bright ones like Yoseob's...), but well, you voted and here you go!
I also hope that my writing is better now that it's a different format. u.u
Next time!
Hey all, I know it's been a really long time, but I have some words I'd like to share with you if you would be so inclined. I have it in the currently one, but will be two new updates so please read them! Thank you so much for your time, SarahChi1023
Comments