Guilt Or A Broken Heart?
The Warrior Ice Prince
The Warrior Ice Prince
(Yiruma - Kiss The Rain [Music Box Version])
Chapter 41 : Guilt Or A Broken Heart?
Your POV:
Thank goodness it was a friday night.
If it had been a school night, there was no way I would have gone to school, because I never even closed my eyes that night.
Minwoo, a beautiful soul, happy with life and always full of smiles.
I broke the former him.
His love had been a special gift.
Gift-wrapped and presented before me, only to be rejected, thrown right back at him.
I might as well have stomped all it over too.
I appreciated the feelings he gave me, but at the same time I wished he had never had them.
If he had never loved me, I would have never had to make him experience so much pain.
I have lost loved ones in the past, and I knew how it felt, even if those people were people whom I loved, not in love with.
It had been so hard to let go, to make the pain dull.
I imagine it's a thousand times worse for Minwoo because, unlike me, he would have to be reminded of me every time he saw me.
I curled up more into a ball as I lied on my bed.
I sighed in tiredness and frustration.
If only he didn't love me, he wouldn't have to hurt.
And you wouldn't have to feel guilty about it...
I inwardly glared at my conscience, but it was the truth.
It was a burden to hold the feelings I couldn't return.
I didn't want to hurt him and I didn't want to hurt me.
Maybe...it was best if I stayed away from Yoseob....
I mean, he made it loud and clear he didn't want anything to do with me.
I winced at the memory.
And Minwoo wouldn't have to see me with him and be hurt.
And then I wouldn't have to see him hurt and feel guilty.
It was a win, win, win right?
My aching heart protested against it.
The thought of not being with Yoseob made the pain in my chest intensify.
Minwoo's misery-filled eyes also amplified the pain.
They battled against each other.
For the longest time they battled with equal strength so nobody would be winning.
It felt like my heart was ripping in two.
I didn't know it was morning until Mir came knocking on my door.
"_____-ah. Wake up."
I just sat up from my ball-form and looked at him blankly.
"Oh, you're awake already. Breakfast will be ready soon, so get dressed and wash up, okay?" He said, then softly closed the door with an almost inaudible click.
Pulling my blanket off, I get up and did as he asked.
My mind never left the battlefield though.
I constantly tried to find the positive and negatives to each decision.
Both were put down and raised up with each thought.
At the table, Mir noticed my quiet, withdrawn attitude and immediately raised his concern.
"Is something wrong?"
I was absent-minded and didn't answer right way.
I shook my head and continued eating.
Mir softly placed his spoon on the table.
"What's wrong, _____? You aren't like this unless it's-- You know what day."
I raise my head slowly and stare at him with no expression.
"Hm?"
"_____, are those-- Did you not get any sleep last night?!" He said, pointing to my dark circles.
He shot up abruptly and came to my side.
I just continued shoving food into my mouth.
"_____, why are you like this? Come on, please talk to me." He pet my back.
I chewed slowly and swallowed.
"I'm okay."
"Aish, tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. If you continue like this, your health will become bad."
You can't fix it...only I can... I thought.
"It's nothing."
He sat there silently, rubbing my back and holding my hand so I no longer ate.
"_____....just...if you won't tell me, then please at least get some sleep. Finish your food first, okay?" Mir the back of my hand with his thumb and softly placed a kiss on my head.
He returned to his seat and picked his spoon back up.
I just continued eating like nothing happened.
Done with breakfast, I took my bowl and other utensils to the sink, washing them and putting them on the drying rack.
I then took a paper towel and wiped down the general area of the table I sat at.
Following Mir's wishes, I threw the used paper away and trudged up to the second floor without a word.
Lying back in my bed, I drew the covers all the way up to my chest, shifting to my side.
I gave an effort to become sleepy, but I was wide awake.
More like my body was exhausted, but my mind was buzzing with activity.
I didn't know how much time had passed like that, but sometime later, I hear the door open slowly and close with the same familiar click.
"I told you to sleep." Mir said, not harsh or mean, but softly.
I didn't respond.
I feel the weight of his body as he lied on my bed with me.
He turned me slowly and pulled me close to him so that my head lay tucked in his chest.
Moving the hair our of my face, Mir hugged me.
The familiar comfort made my eyes fill with tears and they slipped quickly onto the bed sheet.
"Shh...go to sleep..." Mir's comforting voice whispered.
He pat my back rhythmically.
The motion made me drowsy and soon my eyes fluttered close and my body finally got the sleep it was desperately needing.
Hey all, I know it's been a really long time, but I have some words I'd like to share with you if you would be so inclined. I have it in the currently one, but will be two new updates so please read them! Thank you so much for your time, SarahChi1023
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