Alone
The Warrior Ice Prince
The Warrior Ice Prince
(Sistar - Alone)
Chapter 42 : Alone
Your POV:
When I woke up, I was in my bed alone.
I checked the time, and it was well past 9pm.
Mir was at work and should be home soon.
I groggily sat up, stretching and scratching the itchy spots on my head and back.
Everything started to come back to me and I remembered everything.
Yoseob's harsh words, the time at the water park, Minwoo's heartbreak, a night of no sleep and a confused and concerned Mir oppa.
I winced at the memories. Even the happy ones.
I decided to spare myself from mental torture for a few minutes while I used the bathroom and went to make myself something to eat.
I discovered a sticky note on the refrigerator.
I wasn't sure when you would wake up, but I made you some food. It's in the oven so heat it up and eat it! I'll be home when I'm done work. Love, your Mir Oppa~
Then he drew the general outline of lips, giving me a makeshift kiss.
A small smile grew on my face and I tore the note off and opened the fridge for a drink.
There was the plate of food waiting in the oven as promised and I took it out.
As I ate, my smile fell into a frown.
It was very selfish of me to act like this.
It just made things harder for Mir, who always went out of his way to care for me and he probably left this afternoon with reluctance and worry.
After all he had done for me, I shouldn't put my problems on him or let them affect him in anyway.
They were my problems and only I should be the one to fix them.
My thoughts turned to Minwoo.
Sweet, little Minwoo.
I wondered what he was doing right now, how he was doing.
Minwoo hadn't been in my life for a long time, but he cared for me just as Mir did.
The sadness grew deeper.
If only he never loved me or if I loved him as he loved me...
If I choose to put guilt over my own feelings, Minwoo would only be hurt more by watching me chase after Yoseob who would probably, as Minwoo had said, just hurt me in the end.
And he would be right and then two people would be in pain for a foolish and childish decision.
Then there was also Yoseob, whom I would bug so that he would, hopefully, come to like me too.
He didn't want anything to do with me and going after would just be agitating him.
I sighed.
But my heart hurt so much by merely thinking that I would let Yoseob push me farther away then we have ever been and doing nothing about it.
But the people that I put my unnecessary stress and grief would just make them come to hate me, wouldn't it?
I thought of the people I leaned on, like the sturdy trunk of an ancient tree.
Mir, Minwoo, Luna, Jiyoung sometimes and even Yoseob.
They made up my tree of support.
I added in the people I've caused problems for and hurt.
Sungjong was on that list.
Minwoo's friends were too. They would probably have to console a broken Minwoo.
Parents, siblings, friends and other family members I haven't even met would be a part of that tree as well.
I supported myself on strangers because of the people I supported myself on.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't let so many people suffer just because of me.
The sorrow in my chest protested, but I ignored it.
I had decided.
I, alone would suffer my own consequences like I should have from the start.
No longer would lean on others.
I pushed myself off of my tree of support and let everyone go free.
I smiled as I stood in front of the tree and let them go.
With that same smile, I waved and the tree disintegrated into tiny particles and blew away with the wind.
And then I was by myself, in my imaginary green meadow.
I no longer smiled.
I crouched down, tears dripping down and I hugged myself.
The grass that was once bright green with life, shrivelled up into crunchy, vulnerable, dried out sticks.
I weeped quietly to myself in my ball form as black clouds rumbled with the promise of a storm and flashes of lightning was the only thing that illuminated my dead mental world.
I fought my problems alone for the first time.
As much as it hurt, I was okay with it.
I didn't want to hurt anyone any more.
And I wouldn't as long as I could help it.
Rain pelted. Winds struck my wet body with unmerciful force. The temperature dropped to what seemed below zero.
And all I did there was curl up and withstand it all.
Hey all, I know it's been a really long time, but I have some words I'd like to share with you if you would be so inclined. I have it in the currently one, but will be two new updates so please read them! Thank you so much for your time, SarahChi1023
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