Listen to Coffee Shop 

          I open my eyes to the morning sunlight and I look at the time on my phone. There was a new text. “Hey, Himchan, wanna meet up for basketball later? – BYG” I thought for a second. I should be used to the lack of a schedule already. I put on the clothes I laid out last night and I hurry out the door.

            By myself, I hum along to the song I like to listen to everyday. It was a jazzy number, something I’d like to try on the guitar one day. I rang the bars through my head and pictured the melody, the notes arching gracefully across the staff lines and smiled. By myself, I walk in between these familiar buildings.

            It’s practically routine now. Monday, Tuesday, every day. I get up and I am well. I meet up with a lot of friends. These days, a lot of things make me laugh. I’m not like before where I would turn away from happiness. I think I’ve learned to smile again. Summer, winter, spring and fall, time goes so fast. It seems like just yesterday that you were here, by my side. But it’s been nearly two years. Each day, I wake up, determined to put everything behind me. But why am I at the same place, waiting for you?

            The coffee shop that we used to go to is still here. Unlike you, unlike us, this still remains. The pillar to the fragile love that we had is still here. Except, what’s the point of foundation if it has nothing to hold up? Our coffee shop, I’m blankly sitting here, where I can smell your scent.

            I still can’t forget you. Our memories still remain. All those times where you held my hand and we pushed open the doors together are still imprinted in my mind. I remember the first time you introduced me to the coffee here. “You like Iced Americano? I do too!” And that was the beginning of what we had. Even though it’s been two years since you’ve came, I still feel your existence here. So without knowing, like a habit, I came here.

            I lean back against the ledge and close my eyes. I can still picture your silky hair, your white t-shirt and sneakers, your coy walk. I still see your little habits, your everything that made my heart pound. But those things don’t exist anymore, not in this world at least.

            I breathe in deeply and the wind sweeps the coffee swirls towards me. But after another whiff, they were gone. Just like how the strong coffee aroma disappears, you have faded as well. Almost as if it was meant to be, I’ve become indifferent. I was perfectly fine as I walked into this coffee shop. There was no grief to hit me at the force of a hurricane anymore. Rather, there is a little simple nostalgia, but nothing that tugs on the heartstrings. Not anymore. I’m used to it, the caramel scent that came from your body right? Smelling it again would just be familiar.

            Monday, Tuesday, every day, I get by and I am well. I sleep well at night. I no longer toss and turn, calling out for you. I no longer trace your figure in your photographs and search vainly for someone who is no longer there. I can read romance novels again, drink my coffee without remembering the way your hair sprayed across my chest when you read to me, or when we sat together, just drinking. I watch sad movies without crying. I think you would be happy for me.

            Summer, winter, spring and fall. Everything is changing. I remember that it was just warm and now I have to take out my sweater. Now, the air has the added crisp of winter and once again, our summer memories are being packed away. Did you realize, you left me at the end of summer? But why am I at the same place, waiting for you?

            The coffee shop that we used to go to, our coffee shop. I’m blankly sitting here, where I can smell your scent. I didn’t mean to. I honestly had thought I could have put you away in the box labeled ‘The Past.’ I still can’t forget you. Our memories still remain. So without knowing, like a habit, I came here.

            Sometimes, I want to ask you how your day was today. But I realize that your days are different from mine now and you could do whatever you want. I hope you’re happy, where you are. Things have changed quite a bit in two years, you know. Now I’m good at eating greasy pasta. It’s all Zelo ever wants to eat. How about you? Do you still not like pickles? I remember having to pick them all out whenever we got Russian potato salad.

I’m eventually getting used to life without you. It’s pretty decent not having to have my heart break every time I think of you. When I hear about you, I can laugh now. I think happy thoughts. I lean against the sunny window and put in my earphones again today. I hum again to the song and realize, that this was the song you last played for me before you left me forever.

The coffee shop that we used to go to is still here. Our coffee shop. I’m blankly sitting here, where I can smell your scent. I can still feel you in my arms, as much as I wanted to forget. You are the love of my life, even when you’re no longer here.

            I still can’t forget you. Our memories still remain. Even though I can smile now, even though I can breathe better, I still look for you, for your shadow here. I figured if I came back every day, maybe one day, you would grace me with your presence., and not just in my dreams. They said moving on was hard and now I know. Sometimes, I would wonder if it’s smart to keep searching for you, when it’s clear you will never be back. But I still picture you, still remember all your words, all the kisses shared over a cup of coffee.

            So without knowing, like a habit, I came here.

And it is officially D-1 to move-in.

Of all the song stories I've written, I think this one may be one of my favorites. The song itself is so beautiful and I hope you guys enjoyed ♥