As you stared at the spot where he has now disappeared, you felt your throat tighten once more. You felt someone’s arms wrap around your shoulder and you sniffled as you leaned in. You pressed your head against the newcomer’s shoulders and you saw something that was out of the blue. Even on a dark day like today, you were able to see the tiny thing fluttering about in the air before you.           

            The two of you watched silently as a dragonfly landed softly against the grass, kissing the fading green as it swayed from the impact it had made. The two of you watched in fascination as what had formerly been a rainy day began to clear up and the skies began to open up. The drizzling puttered away; the clouds moved from the sun.

            You looked at your companion and he smiled at you wryly. “Dragonflies signify transformation, did you know that?”

~*~

            Everything had happened too quickly for you to comprehend. It had been the two of you, leaning on one another’s shoulders, when you lurched forward before hearing the sickening crunch. You were flying. Your body shifted away from Daehyun and you were jerked towards the right as the car flipped over.

            Instinct told you to try to grab onto something but your hands were too weak to move. Everything was surprisingly numb before your head throbbed and you could feel yourself  bleed. You wanted to shout for help but then felt a dead weight against you.

            You wanted to check to see what it was but even turning your head was painful. There were more around you and you tried desperately to listen for Daehyun’s voice. You couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t differentiate anything. You didn’t know how long you were watching the tiny flame grow larger, the orange of the fire growing and eventually taking over. All you knew was that your arm felt like it had completely lost circulation and you couldn’t breathe.            

            You had passed out by the time help came and only came to when they were strapping you to the stretcher. It took a while for you to realize that you were still alive. You moved an arm and heard them shout. “This one’s conscious!” You stifled an urge to roll your eyes. Of course you were.

            You wanted to sit up and see if Daehyun was okay but the pain was immobilizing. “D-Da” was all you could manage before the effort proved too much and you gave up.

            “Three being transported, one is dead on the scene.” Your heart pounded for a good five seconds once you heard the announcement into the walkie talkie. Who was it? You tried to sit up again but that was when your heart gave up on you too.

            You were sore all over. Your chest hurt as if it had been squeezed for a long time and you could barely catch your breath. Your head was groggy and your mouth was dry. Your entire body was bandaged when you checked and that was when you noticed the towheaded figure sitting next to you.

            “Junhong,” you croaked and winced. Even your voice sounded like it had been through death and back.

            He picked his head up and you saw that his eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with a violent pink. The machine next to you spiked as your heart rate increased. “Are you okay?”

            He stared at you and that was when a nurse came in. You tried to ask her questions but all she did was change your IV, assure you that you were going to be alright and pressing a button before leaving. And that was when everything became hazy once more.

            By the time you were conscious, you saw an entire crowd of people around your bedside. They looked relieved when you opened your eyes but you sought anxiously for a certain someone. “Daehyun? Where’s Daehyun?” you wanted nothing more than to see your boyfriend.

            There was a nervous tittering and you panicked. “What’s wrong?” you shouted despite not having eaten and still being weak. You pulled back the covers but Junhong held it in his hands.

            “Relax, please.” You could tell by one look at him that he had been crying. You couldn’t and began to hyperventilate. Multiple hands came towards you to help you calm down and it was several minutes before you could breathe properly again.

            A doctor came in and Junhong held your hand. “Daehyun’s gone.” The words failed to comprehend because you refused to let them. Instead you gave a weak smile.

            “Funny.” But all it took was one look at his stricken face for you to know that he wasn’t joking. Your hands shook and you fought back the overwhelming grief that threatened to take you away and let you join him.

            It took several days for you to come to terms to it. When you finally accepted that he was gone from you forever, you mentally prepared for the funeral.  Junhong, his best friend, helped to guide you, listening to your musings and your stories whenever you missed him too much.

            The night before the funeral, you were taken out of the hospital. It was Junhong who took you back home and when you curled on your side in the backseat to fight off the body shaking spasms that spread through you, he held you in his arms and your hair. The gesture was so familiar, you almost felt like Daehyun was back.

            Of all the things you’ve had to do in your life, staying sane during the funeral was the hardest. You watched the people talk about his life and all the ups and downs. You learned things you never knew, silently contributed things that only you knew and all the while, you had Junhong to lean on.

            He held onto your arm and only let go once when he went to the podium to say his speech. The tears flowed down your cheeks and nothing could soothe the ache in your heart. In the background, you could hear his voice singing and for a moment, you wondered if that was Daehyun singing in Heaven, with the rest of the angels.

~*~

            You brought your baby daughter to the grave and touched the beautiful marble tomb that marked the place where your first love lay. You ran your hands over the etchings. Six years was a long time. Next to you Junhong held out the flowers you had brought as respect. Your daughter gave a hearty wail and a happy giggle despite the somber location.

            She stretched out her arms and you followed where she was pointing at. A butterfly with beautiful spots and burnt orange wings had settled near your hand on the tomb. It flapped its wings for a few moments before flying straight at the bundle in your arms. It landed softly on her nose, kissing it with its butterfly flaps and then disappearing into the sky.    

            You looked at Junhong and he smiled at you then at his daughter. “Butterflies symbolizes rebirth, did you know that?” 

Well, I think I cried a little too hard when I wrote the ending :/

this is inspired by one of my follwoers whose grandfather passed away earlier this year. The dragonfly and butterfly is all her, and I wish all the best.