It was living a double life. Regular college student by day, underground mafia member by night. They were too far apart on the spectrum of what was considered a “normal” identity that when they clashed, everything became a tug of war between involvement and abandonment.

            Youngjae rolled out of the ditch, keeping his gun out just in case someone was there to ambush. The signal had been cleared but mistakes can be made. He knows. He’s made them before. There was only silence so he got onto his arms and knees and began to crawl. The fence should already have a hole dug underneath it but he found nothing. Forcing himself not to panic, he started to dig at the dirt.

            Alarms were set off and he froze. He glanced behind him. It was too late to go back to the ditch. He hoisted himself over the fence and climbed. “Intruder!” Voices rang out in the night and the blast of guns going off sounded. He managed to cling on and over the other side, safely running down the alleyway.

            Youngjae screamed the codes into the walkie talkie so that the center would have the information in case he goes down tonight. As he managed to elude the chasers, and turned down the corner towards the hideout, he remembered. He had a date tonight.

            It wasn’t the first time Youngjae forgot a date. He glanced at his watch. They were supposed to meet at eight, and it was already half past. Maybe if he called her and explained…

            “No, Youngjae. The moment you weren’t there, I left. You are never late and if you aren’t there, it means you won’t show. I’m home.”

            “I’m sorry, babe,” he plead. “Something really urgent came up and I just had to go. It’s work related.”

            “Work related,” she echoed. “Well in that case, I guess nothing can stop you. Good of you to have your priorities straight at such a young age.” He glared at the phone in frustration. He knew that he had tested her patience too often and that this was just her own irritation coming out. He also was aware that it was his fault.

            “Youngjae. You can’t use your phone here. What if they traced the calling signals?”

            He looked up to see the leader, Yongguk, glaring sternly at him. “Sweetheart, I need to go. I’m sorry about tonight.”

            She made an impatient noise with her tongue and ended the call before he did. “Youngjae, you can’t have someone out there if you’re going to constantly mess up. It’s not a double life when it comes to relationships. Sooner or later, she’ll find out and she’ll be in danger.”

            “You won’t do anything to her!” Youngjae shouted.

            There was an almost amused smile on Yongguk’s face. “No, you idiot. But the other side would.”

            But Youngjae was selfish. Selfish and confident. He had kept her safe for two years, he could keep doing it until his time with them was up, and he would be given a whole new identity. He just had to last for the next two years and then he’ll be fine.

            “There is no leaving the mafia. Even with your new identity, you’re going to constantly need to be on the move. Unless you stay in our protection,” Daehyun told him when Youngjae had mentioned his plan.

            But Youngjae didn’t believe him. He would be able to defy the odds.

            They finally went out to dinner. He took her to a fancy restaurant, and given the soft smiles she gave him throughout the course of their dinner, he could safely assume that he was forgiven. He reached out his hand to hold hers on the table and the back of it.

            “I love you,” he told her. “I just really want you to be able to put up with me for a while and to stay safe.”

            She looked confused. “Youngjae, what?”

            Out of the corner of his eye, he recognized someone and he held his breath. He could see the curve of the gun underneath the person’s jacket and he tensed. The man was looking around and then their eyes met. Youngjae saw the look of recognition and he spoke to her out from the side of his mouth.

            “When I say duck, you’re going to throw yourself under this table and come out until I come back for you.”

            “What are you doing? Why would I-”

            There was a loud bang and everyone in the restaurant screamed. Chaos ensued and he got out of his seat, pulling out his own weapon and pointing it at the man. Youngjae tracked him outside until he was met by an entire group of them.

            “Yoo Youngjae,” they cackled. “Fancy seeing you here.” Each of them had guns pointed at him.

            “Youngjae!” His heart sank as his girlfriend came barreling out. She clung onto him and surveyed the people around them.

            “Ooh, is that your girlfriend, Youngjae? Pretty girl,” they leered.

            She held onto his arm and he stepped in front of her. “You’re not going to touch her.”

            “Brave of you,” the head of the criminals said. “Brave, but we’re going to have her once we kill you anyway.”

            Gun shots rang out but they came from behind him. Youngjae glanced back quickly to see Yongguk leading an army of their men and he sank back among the ranks. Youngjae felt a couple of bullets brush by his side and Yongguk shouted, “Get her out of here!”

            He did. He grabbed her by the arm and ran with her until they reached the safety of a brightly lit street. They were doubled over and she stared at him.

            “Who are you?”

            He opened his mouth to answer but a gush of blood came out. A bullet had hit him. She screamed and he shook his head. “Don’t call the hospital.”

            There was a protest from her that he couldn’t hear and then all was black. When he woke up in the headquarters, he saw Jongup changing his bandages with a sad expression on his face.

            Youngjae sat up too quickly and felt more blood gush. “Hyung, you need to relax.”

            “Where is she?”

            Jongup averted his gaze but it was Yongguk who answered from his place in the doorway. “I told you things didn’t work like this. She left. She wrote a note for you, and made sure you were okay before leaving.”

            Youngjae took the piece of paper and unfolded it. Youngjae, I don’t know who you are and what you’re doing, but we can’t be together anymore. I can see that you’ve put yourself in danger protecting me, and I want you to stay safe. I’ll be fine. I just need to know that you’re okay. And you won’t be with me in your life. I love you.

            He trembled and crumpled the paper before rethinking and smoothing it over. He read the few short lines until they were branded in his memory. Youngjae eased back down and the members watched him cautiously. He was blank. Blank because they were right, and he had failed. Blank because thinking anything else would erase her and he couldn’t do that.          

            And when they finally put him out, the dream was only of her, walking away from him, never turning her head once to look back at him. 

this is for mimirimim

I hope you liked this ;;