Youngjae unceremoniously pulled the ear bud out of her ear and straightened considerably when a certain someone walked by. His friend shot him a look and he pursed his lips. He nodded coolly at her and she waved back.   

            “Didn’t want Jinhe getting the wrong impression?” his friend remarked snidely.

            Youngjae looked slightly sheepish. “Yeah. I mean, you’re a girl, she’s a girl.”

            “Glad you noticed,” she interrupted.

            “And I didn’t want her thinking we were dating.”      

            “Because we were sharing headphones?”

            “Um, yeah,” he finished lamely.

            She laughed at him and he was indignant. What was wrong with wanting to start a new relationship based on zero misunderstandings? “Dude, it’s obvious we’re just friends. That’s it. I’ll stay away from you if that’s what you want though.”

            “No, that’s not it. Just I don’t know. A little distance?”

            She shrugged and stood up. She brushed the grass off her jeans and walked off. “See you around, Youngjae.”

            He waved weakly at her and went back to his book. Moments later, someone else dropped down next to him. He looked and blushed brilliantly. “Hey, who was that?” his crush asked.

            “Her? Ah, just a friend.”

            “You guys seem really close.”

            Youngjae gave a noncommittal jerk of his shoulder. “We’re alright. We grew up together.” There was another moment of silence and then he pulled out his ear bud and offered it to her. “Share?”

            Jinhe gave him a brilliant smile. “Yeah, sure. I’ve always wanted to know what type of music smarty pants listened to.”

            Smarty pants. That was what she called him too. Youngjae grinned. “You’ll be surprised.”

            It took him a while, but he finally worked up the courage to date her. When she said yes, the first to offer their congratulations was his best friend. She had pushed through the crowd after the very public proposal and slapped a hand on his shoulder.

            “Looks like my staying away really helped you a ton. Congrats bud.”

            Youngjae grinned. “We can talk again.”

            She raised an eyebrow and Youngjae was struck by how much he missed her. “And risk having her get jealous? I’d rather not. I’ve dealt with enough catty women in my life, mister.”

            Youngjae rolled his eyes. Why did girls have to make everything so complicated? “It’s not a big deal. We’re going to hang out tomorrow, going to the fair. Bring a guy and we’ll double?”

            She shook her head. “Nah, too much effort. If I wanted to find a boyfriend, I would have.” When he was about to protest, she cut him off. “I’m not willing to be a security blanket.”

            The next time he saw her, they fought. Youngjae walked up to her randomly on the streets and threw an arm around her shoulder. “Hey stranger.”

            She jerked away. “Ow man. That hurts.”

            He pulled on her arm and she winced. Youngjae pulled up her sleeves and saw bruises littered across her skin. “What happened?” He stared at her. She looked tired.

            “No big deal. Just got way too intense during taekwondo.”

            He pursed his lips. “These are like systematic bruises, not just a punch here.”

            “Whatever. I’ll see you around.”

            He stopped her. “I haven’t seen you in school.”

            She brushed her hair from her face. “You weren’t looking hard enough.” And that was when he saw the hospital bracelet.

            “What is this?” he grabbed it and read the info. She’s been in there for two weeks.

            “Two weeks and you don’t tell me?”

            She pulled away. “No obligations to. I really need to go.”

            “Is it leukemia?” He shouted it in her face because he was scared and he didn’t know.

            Her face shut down and that was all the answer he needed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

            It was now that she started crying. “It’s okay. Youngjae, you need to let it go.” Then her mother’s car pulled up and she got in. She didn’t even look at him as she left.

            Youngjae was stunned. He didn’t know why he felt his heart breaking, why he wanted to drown all his thoughts. He just knew he couldn’t handle this. A week later, he found a note in his locker.

Youngjae,

            This is when you’re a little dense but it’s okay. I guess emotions are things that are cultivated and I had hopes that you would have grown to like me, but I guess you didn’t. But it’s okay. If you get this, it’s probably because my mom has acted on my final wish and stuffed this in your locker. Yay for mom-mail.

            Live a good life okay? Don’t worry too much about me. Have fun with Jinhe or whoever girl you’re with and will end up with. I just want to see you happy. I know I pulled away and it that we couldn’t hang out but look! You got the girl, and I avoided pity. It’s win-win all around.

            Anyway, before I lose my nerve, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I didn’t’ want to tell you this because I love you but you didn’t love me and then that is the most awkward situation a girl can face. So I’ll tell you this now when I’m gone and when I can watch your reaction from my pearly throne in Heaven. (I hope I end up there.)

            Keep working at your dreams, Mr. Yoo. You’re a smarty pants. You’ll get far in love. If it’ll help you, I’ll be by your side and if you ever wanted, just hold your headphones to the sky and sing to me.

            Do it. Sing for me if it’ll make you feel better. I know you’re mad I didn’t tell you but I never wanted you to find out. And if you ever miss me, I’ll be at our alley, waiting. Mad shady I know, but it’s been our spot.

            Okay, God and his angels are waiting. I’m going to head out now. Peaces <3

            Youngjae felt the torrent of tears fall down his cheek. “Stupid, stupid. ‘I love you but you didn’t love me.’ How did you know? What gave you the authority?”

            He clenched his jaw and continued walking, walking until he reached their alley. And that was when he took out his headphones and held one bud to the sky. “I hope you hear this, you idiot!”

            And then Youngjae started to sing. For her. 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY YONGGUK ♥

LOL this is for polariskpop

I sort of changed it and I know it's a bit rushed but I need to get off and make breakfast :P