Chapter 97

He held her by the arm but she fought. He tried to calm her down but her horrified screams bounced from walls to walls. He did his best from letting her hurt herself more. He didn’t feel any strong than she did. Further more, he felt weak.

She accidentally scratched him by the arm, throwing her arms around. Angry tears sprang from her dead eyes. Her hair messed up with the white hair bow hanging from halfway. Her neck shirt angled to the right, wrinkling all over. He got a hold of her paled face into his palm.

“Yul, it’s alright.”

She shook her head, trying to push him away. Screams came out of , “Don’t! Don’t!”

“Yul, calm down.” He whispered genteelly.

Suddenly, she groaned. A pain shot through her chest again. She clutched her hands to the side of her stomach. The rib she had broken snapped more & more with each pain crackling. She shut her eyes tightly, taking in the pain while Jaejoong tried to lay her back down.

Yuri still shook her head, murmuring & wanting her dead unborn baby back. Jaejoong wiped her tears away. He soothed the bruise that marked on her cheek, “Go back to sleep please?”

Even though the pain was still there, she jerked up & started to scream again, “My baby! Where is she?! She can’t be dead, Jaejoong Oppa! She can’t! I want her back! I want her back!”

“I do, too.”

She shook her head, doubling the violent, “No. It’s...It’s.” An usual anger burned up inside of her. She pushed him away hard from the bed. Her eyes searched the room as if she was lost. She flung her right arm out, knocking the vase fill with water & roses on the bedside table. Grabbing one tightly into her hand, she flung it at the wall from across of her.

Jaejoong rushed to her & grabbed her arm before she can throw another one, “Stop it, Yul!” He raised his voice, “Calm down!”

“My baby!” She screamed, to a high pitch. The doctor Doyeon had summoned for burst through the door. The nurse following him handed the phonograph needle over, ready to give Yuri a shot to sleep, “No, she doesn’t need it.”

Dr. Chang peered up at Jaejoong through his glasses, “It’s for the best, Mr. Kim. It will put her to sleep & she won’t feel anything. Her anger is exploding & you had already signed the papers that allow us to do anything possibly to make her feel back to normal.”

“I understand, she’s already hurt. I can calm her down.”

He shook his head, “I promise, Mr. Kim, this won’t hurt her at all. Just a sting.” His eyes were still on Jaejoong, ready to give the shot when allowed.

Jaejoong’s eyes looked down at his wife. His heartbeat tripled its speed. It won’t hurt her; the doctor had assured him. There was no way to calm her down. He tried but he had failed. Put her to sleep, “What about her dreams?”

“None at all.” The doctor replied patiently.

Jaejoong nodded, “Go ahead.” He laid Yuri back down with all his strength & with help from the male nurses. He tried to board his eyes into hers but she kept shifting her head. His eyes moved to look as the needle pierced into her skin. A scream thundered inside his soul. He looked back to his wife.

“It’s done. She will fall into a deep sleep in seconds.”

Jaejoong cupped her face into his palm. Her moving & shifting stopped from the dose the doctor had inserted into her system. Her eyes fluttered open & closed. He tried to smile with aplomb down at her, even with no content inside of his heart.

“It’s okay. We will give Hyunnie another sister. Go to sleep now.” He kissed her forehead. As he looked back down at her, she had already fallen asleep, “I love you.” Not a second after he had said those words, a reassuring hand comforted his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, honey.”

Jaejoong closed his eyes & slumped down onto a chair. Holding onto Yuri’s hand, he pressed her knuckles to his lips & bowed his head, “I’m sorry, too, mom.”

Mrs. Kim nodded once & pressed his shoulder again. He heard her sniff & then she walked back to the resting area, too discontent to say anything. He shuddered, feeling the coldness & silence surrounding him.

What a loss. Why was he so stupid to talk himself into an argument with his wife, knowing well that she’s pregnant?! Was pregnant. Jaejoong made a trembling sigh. He knew well that all that had happened last night is & would always be his fault. What more of a fool could he had been?

He knew very well that his wife didn’t cheat on him. He knows that she would never do such a thing like that. What he did was nothing but his foolishness. He was jealous & he admitted it. There was no shame in it but there was shame to start an argument that wasn’t supposed to be an argument. He didn’t blame Donghae. He didn’t blame the argument. He blamed himself, every little piece of it. If he didn’t blame himself, a more of a fool he had be.

The scream she had let out while falling down the stairs still haunted him & not only was the room filled with silent but also with those far away distant screams. The sight of her blood oozing & drenching through her midnight boot cut maternity jeans had sent terrors up his spine. The third level of the staircases where she had fallen. Paramedics shouting for cleared way. The rolling bed with her light body on top of it. The oxygen mask on her bruised face. He knew then & there that they had lost their unborn baby. The blood.

Jaejoong slightly opened his eyes to take a peek at his wife. She wasn’t sleeping peacefully but she wasn’t dreaming. Of that, he was glad. He didn’t want her to think or dream of the accident. He didn’t want any of the thought to flow into her head. He wanted to talk to her.

She didn’t take the matter too well nor did he. She had awakened & first off, she started to scream. There was no keeping in secrets that she had a miscarriage; her senses told her all. Her belly was flatter. She had broken a rib & the sore she had received was no match from hiding the groans. How could their feelings differ so? They both wanted the baby so direly but there’s always another & another. A long wait again.

A knock came at the door & then it opened, “Mind if I come in?” It was Doyeon.

“No.” Jaejoong mumbled, clenching his jaw together from trembling.

The door was heard closing. His footsteps were lightly hitting the floor then a chair scraping against the hard floor. A moment of silence covered them. Blinking his eyes in allusion, Jaejoong took in a shaky breath, trying to calm his feelings down.

“Takes a long time to heal.”

“I feel horrible.” He bit his bottom lips then said, “It’s my fault. Is there something wrong with being jealous?” “Not that it ever occurred to me but it depends on whatever jealousy you are in.” Doyeon’s eyes lay on his sleeping sister, “Don’t blame yourself too much.”

“How did you feel when you & Ahjoong lost the unborn baby?”

A moment of silence, “Like every going-to-be-father would feel like.” He shifted position, “But I didn’t blame myself. One thing I blamed myself for was giving that baby for Ahjoong to carry. If I had never done that, maybe we would had been better off.” He swallowed, “Had you seen Ahjoong yet?”

Jaejoong looked up at Doyeon for the first time, “She’s my sister.”

He nodded, “I know. What I mean is, had you seen Ahjoong inside this room yet?” Jaejoong blinked then shook his head. Doyeon looked back down at Yuri, “She protests to come in here. I tried to persuade her. Her face went paled when she heard of the accident. She’s not acting like the Ahjoong I know.” His eyes peered back up at Jaejoong, “I know it reminds her of the baby we lost. She’s scared maybe.”

“Maybe so.”

A knock came at the door. The doctor came in, nodded his head at the men & made a quick check up on Yuri. He seemed to take longer than the last. Pushing his glasses up, he peered down at Jaejoong, “I need to talk to you, Mr. Kim.” His eyes took a quick glance at Doyeon, “In private.”

“It will have to wait.”

The doctor sighed, impatiently this time, “& it’s important, Mr. Kim. I understand you don’t want to leave your wife’s side but the news about to be given to you, I believe you will want to hear.”

Jaejoong kissed Yuri’s knuckles again, his heart aching to leave her side. Standing up, he brushed his messy hair backwards, “Watch her for me please, Doyeon?” & as he took his steps, following the doctor, he felt as if he was dragging himself from sleepwalking.

“Your wife has one broken rib, a twisted ankle & several other injuries. I understand that from this information you had given me.” He peered down at the clipboard, “Your wife fell down the stairs. Eighteen step to be exact.” He cleared his throat several more times as if there was something huge stuck down his throat, “I would wait to give this information to you & your wife after she’s well enough to handle this news but I’m afraid that after all the damage she had done in the room, I will just go ahead & tell you.”

Jaejoong looked up & found himself sitting on a chair in the doctor’s office. He hadn’t figure out how he had gotten into the room without hearing or feeling any movement he had made but he had clearly heard what the doctor had said.

“I’m sorry to give you this news but your wife has been barren from the fall. No one wants to hear this but it’s the truth.” He paused, “Your wife can no longer give birth to a child again. I know this is a conflict but I hope it doesn’t interrupt your lives. The best is to go on. You won’t get over it soon but it will go away.” He stood up, “I won’t get into family matters. Please give your family my sympathy. I hope your wife can handle this. Have a good day, Mr. Kim. I will give your wife regularly checkups.”

Dr. Chang departed without any further words. With a pale faced, Jaejoong slowly leaned forward & buried his face into his shaking hands. His breathing, lips & body trembled. Barren. Jesus christ.

A/N: as days are flying by for me, it seems to be getting busier & busier so i'm sorry if i was only able to update one chap. for my two fanfic that i'm currently writing right now & i do hope you guys will understand & be patient with me. thank you