Chapter 52

He punched the number in slowly, thinking, wondering if he should tell her the truth now. His hands shook, telling himself that he didn’t have the courage of a man. He studied the eleven numbers on his phone. God, was he doing the right thing? Was he a chicken not to meet her face to face? Was he not a man who can not decide what to do?

Jaejoong cursed under his breath & pushed the send button. He pressed the phone against his ear. Three rings, one click & then that wonderful voice he was going to hurt.

Jessica smiled. Knowing that it was him, “Hey Jae Oppa.” He was silent, absorbing in her sweet voice. He could see her frowning. Then he could see her pressing a small smile on, “Oppa?”

He rubbed his face & tried not to hesitate, “Hey sweetheart. I’m sorry about that. I got a little distracted by the commotion outside of my window.” Another one of his sweet lie.

“Another lawyer fighting with his client?”

He nodded & uttered a yes, “I miss you.”

She tilted her head lightly, “I miss you, too. I haven’t had much time to contact you lately but next week is almost coming & I’m coming back.” He smiled thinly. She sounded so happy just to hear his voice, “Just three more weeks until our wedding, Oppa, & like couples should do, we should spend more time together.”

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, “We should but there’s just a little problem with our jobs.”

She nodded, agreeing with him. After a month of their engagement party, they had discussed about the problems with their jobs. It may take their special time away but with the time they would spend together in the later years, they will treasure it the most.

“We will work it out somehow.” Jessica assured him, “I know we will.”

He nodded & hesitated again, “Sica, I...I.” He trailed off, not yet wanting to tell her.

“What is it? Is there something wrong?”

He swallowed & at the same time, shook his head, “Everything’s fine. I’m just calling you because...because I miss you.”

She lit up a brighter smile at his sweetness, “That’s sweet of you, Oppa, but I’m coming back this very next week.”

“That will be great.” He glanced up as Junsu walked in without knocking. He gave him a frown. Junsu smile as if innocent, “I have to go now, sweetheart. Talk to you later.”

“Alright. Bye. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He quickly hung up & threw the cell phone onto the desk. With a sigh, Jaejoong buried his face into the palm of his hands, “What do you want?” He muttered out to Junsu.

The man brought up a smile again, “The murder case you want. Here she is.” He threw the file onto the desk & crossed his arms, “What’s wrong? First fight with Jessica?”

Jaejoong looked up with a glare at his friend. Junsu roses two innocent hands. He brushed him off & grabbed the file. Flipping through the pages, he cursed with bits of harshness, “The woman’s guilty!” He exclaimed. Junsu rose a quick brow, “That’s your client you are talking about. Really, dude, is there something going on with you & Yuri?”

He threw another glare at Junsu. When he rose that annoying arch of a brow again, Jaejoong gave up & threw the files back onto the desk! “Dammit! Just dammit!”

“So, I see.”

“I asked her to remarry me, Su. She thinks it’s a game I’m playing. Dammit! Dammit it all!”

“You what?!” Junsu exclaimed, “You can’t possibly do that while still engage with Jessica! I just heard that on the phone! The love talk! I love you! You love me!”

“Would you just stop mocking me? I knew I said those things. How could I help it?”

“Oh, my gosh.” Junsu groaned, with a slap on his forehead, “You are engage with the woman you had cheated on with Yuri & now, you are cheating on her with your ex-wife. Jesus, Jaejoong. What worst could you bring to yourself?”

Jaejoong groaned, “I’m still waiting for her answer.”

“Whose answer?”

“The answer from Yuri. I asked her to remarry me. She gave me a no but I won’t accept it. Only a yes will I.” “Damn you are stubborn!” Junsu exclaimed, “What makes you think she will remarry you?! No women will! If I was Jessica, I will break up with you right now!”

“Only if you are gay.” Jaejoong groaned again, with a crazy laugh. Junsu threw him a glare. The door opened again, without a knock. Yoochun walked in with a wide grin.

“What’s up with all the yelling? People are trying to work out there, you know?”

‘Great.’ Jaejoong thought, ‘Another one to make me go crazy.’

“Can you believe Jaejoong asked Yuri to remarry him?” Junsu burst out.

Yoochun raised a non-surprises brow, “I thought you were engage with Jessica, Jaejoong. What’s up?” “Nothing!” He hissed. Both men rose their eyebrows. Jaejoong stood up from his seat. He grabbed his black kenneth cole wool-blend faux leather-trim car coat, “I need to get some air. Take all the calls off, will you, Su?” “You are having that murder case in thirteen minutes. What the hell are you trying to do?”

“Forget it. I’m not in the mood to win any cases now. Make them reschedule it.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Then the hell do I care!” Jaejoong hissed again. Opening the door, he walked out. Strolling to his car with a dark face, he got in & drove off to his destination. Every now & then came a curse from his mouth. He wasn’t in the mood for anything. His once of happiness was gone from him now & he felt so much in the dark place of hell! He needed her yes now. Goddamn! He didn’t care if there wasn’t enough time for her to rethink of it. That word of yes was killing him. He wants something he had thrown away years ago & now, he wants to be a daddy to one special boy. Being a father was easy enough for him but being a husband again, with a woman who hates him to hell, he wants to pull back & away!

Parking in their driveway, Jaejoong glanced at the house. He swallowed. Why was he afraid all of a sudden? He shook his head & got out of the car. Opening the gate, he walked down the cement with hesitation but determination to get her answer. He stepped onto the stone porch & waited at the door. He raised his hands to knock but stopped short on the way.

A thought finally caught onto him. Was he being too harsh on her? Rushing her to make his answer fulfill? Jaejoong groaned. Yes, he really was. When did he become such a heartless & careless man? Was it the day he first met Jessica? Or was it the day he threatened to sue her? He groaned again, but it was a groan of triple-double.

Without another delay, Jaejoong knocked on the door very lightly. No answer came since his knock was hardly any knock at all. He knocked louder three times. A voice he recognized so well came through the door. Seeing her face appearing at the long window, Jaejoong suddenly pulled on a smile. He could see her brows narrowing before she turned away.

A moment of five seconds passed by before she appeared in front of him with her white charter club short woven waffle robe tightly wrapped around her. She had her arms over her chest, staring at him as if he had woken her up. Her hair was up in a messy bun; the way he had always complimented on of her iness in the year that they were still married. He couldn’t help but felt like guilty for coming at the time when she was still in her robe. It was still early in the morning; he forgot but something stirred in his stomach, something that was waking up for her senses of beauty.

“I’m sorry. I guess I came at a bad time.” He spoke up.

She nodded, not giving up a lie, “You have an urgent message?”

He shook his head, ashamed that his appearance wasn’t at all important to her notice, “Nothing important. I just came here for your answer.”

Yuri squinted her eyes at him. It wasn’t a frown. It wasn’t her madness. It was more of hate turning onto him. He suddenly felt uncomfortable at her stare. Remorses made its way up his back spine.

“You are that eager to remarry me?” She asked him, her eyes burning up every second passing. Not only did she senses him wanting to remarry her just because of their son but also, she felt as if a part of him wants to remarry her because of…

“I just need your yes quickly, Yuri.”

“How come?”

He peered at her, “You might not like my answer completely.”

“Try me.” Her chin was intelligent with every sensitive upward in the thin air around them.

Jaejoong rose an annoying brow that she most hated. She really wanted to know his answer, huh? Very well for her stubbornness & his. He didn’t like his answer nor will she but he won’t hesitate saying this one, “Our wedding is set within two weeks after the day of tomorrow.”

Her immense eyes widened into a flare of fire. Every interior of her ran eight times the speed. She gritted her teeth together, wanting to slap his handsome face so much. Unexpectedly, she stepped down onto the porch with every hard breath. Jaejoong stepped back. She closed the door behind her without even turning around. He peered down at her hands. They were in a fists. Jaejoong glanced back up at her. Certainly, she didn’t like his answer, completely, half, not at all.

“There is no way you can make me say yes. My answer is no.” She said, somehow keeping her anger in, “It wouldn’t matter if you won’t accept that answer. After the day of tomorrow will be the last day of our seeing. I decide to have Hyunnie each month, starting with this month. That will be tomorrow. About the expenses, it will be fairly divide into half. That won’t be a problem for you, I supposes.”

Jaejoong clearly squinted his eyes. Somewhere inside of him, he grew gentle. Maybe it was the hurt. Maybe it was the way she had said it all. Maybe it will be the missing. He swallowed lightly.

“You are heading back?” Jaejoong asked softly.

“Yes.” She uttered.

“So, you won’t marry for our son’s behalf?”

“No. He survived with me these four years. He can survive more without you.” Her voice was full of hatred. Jaejoong looked down & then back up at her. He suddenly smiled, “Good luck than. When will you two be leaving?”

“Tomorrow evening.” She clearly said, with dryness.

“Oh.” He said lowly, “I see.” He cleared his throat. His hands fumbled together. His eyes started to get blurred slowly as the seconds pass by. He averted his head to the right, pretending to look at an old man watering the flowers, “Where’s Hyunnie?” He asked, still not looking at her.

Yuri took her eyes away from him. She swore she detested his voice with shakiness, “He’s up in my parents’ room having breakfast with my mom.”

“Oh.” Jaejoong uttered again. He his lips & took a deep swallow, “I...I should be going now. Goodbye.” He walked off before she could say anything else. He tucked his hands into his pockets, afraid that she will see them shaking. Just as he blinked, tears suddenly rolled down his cheeks as he walked down the cement. He dare not brush them away or she could senses his gentle heart. He quickly got in his car & drove off. Wiping the silly tears away from his face, his hands tightened on the steering wheel. That smile he gave her was none but hurt. He went soft. He couldn’t understand himself.

He came there, trying to put a yes into but what he had done after she had explained herself, he couldn’t help but let her go. Did he felt sorry for her or did he felt sorry for himself? They will be leaving tomorrow. Oh, lord. He wiped more tears off of his cheeks. Was he really crying? He was a man. Men don’t cry over a thing like this but they will be leaving tomorrow. Tomorrow. Can he truly let all of this go just because of her?

He should have asked to see Taehyun. He could have spent the day with his precious son. There would be no wedding in two weeks as he had told her. There will be nothing between them after tomorrow but there was someone, their son. He tried to make her remarry him but now, she had succeeded in hurting him like he deserved. He was a man who wanted everything for himself. Now, everything that he had divorced her for had suddenly became useless to him.