Chapter 5

Jaejoong loosened Yuri’s arm. He didn’t mean to be so harsh on her. In fact, he had never forcefully touched her like that before. After she had asked him a question, he saw her getting up at the corner of his eyes. At that point, what concerned him were her eyes. He had been so interested in a conversation with Jessica that he had ignored her. She looked flushed with her little temper going upwards. Her eyes were sick with something that he had never seen before.

He slowly reached out for her again, but she pulled back.

“Don’t touch me unless you answer me completely, Jae Oppa!” She said in a huff of a hiss, “I’m not hurt by your brutal touch!”

Jaejoong flinched slightly as if Yuri had slapped him. Her words were more painful than an actual slap. He was an idiot to had done that to her. He didn’t really mean it but her earlier words had made his temper go up, “I’m sorry, Yul. Really.” Jaejoong whispered.

“If you were sorry, you shouldn’t have touched me so brutally. You know I hate those kind of men & you were acting just like one.”

“Yul, please?”

Yuri sighed & closed her eyes. She turned her back on him & looked up at the night sky. The night was beautiful but the stars were sharp. She hated the stars tonight. Just looking up at them cuts her hearts into pieces. She passed the stars away & stared down. No matter how much she tries to explain to him, he wouldn’t understand. She was mad at Jaejoong for being so blind about Jessica but mostly, she was mad at him for touching her so. She couldn’t sometimes stand his softness to women. His behavior was changing. Sometimes, he was soft & sometimes he was hard but now, he was being soft with his forgiving words. He shouldn’t be apologizing to her; she should be the one.

Maybe it was her fault for being so short tempered. Marriage was based on honesty & loyalty. She didn’t blame herself for being jealous of Jessica but blamed the woman for coming into their marriage. She took in a deep breath, “I’m sorry, Oppa. I was overreacting.”

He walked up to her & hugged her from behind, “What got you so?”

Yuri hesitated, “Jessica.”

“Jessica? What did she do wrong?” Jaejoong asked, with one eyebrow raised.

“She’s trying to steal the most precious thing in my life away & she knows I can’t live without it.” Yuri pulled Jaejoong’s arms away & took a step from him, “Will she steal it away from me completely?”

“Yul.” Jaejoong said. He stepped up to her again, & held her hands in his, “Whatever belongs to you will always stay yours. No one can take it away from you. You are the owner of the possession & will always be. Alright?”

“I don’t know, Oppa. The way she looks at you makes me feel nervous. You know I can’t stand it when woman looks at you. You are such a handsome man.”

Jaejoong sighed & cupped her cheeks, “Look at me Yul.” She looked up at him with her immense eyes.

“You are the only one for me. I love you & only you. The first time when I met you, I knew that you had be a big impact in my life with all those car accidents.” He chuckled, “& you are. No one can take us away from each other. Even if we had married young, no one can tell the future but you & me. Looking into your eyes now tells me that the future would be brighter than it had intended to be. We will have a dozen of children & more grandchildren. We will live old with wrinkle & never will I get tired of that. You had made my life a living eternity with love & loyalty & every day that passes by us, I will never ever get tired of saying those wonderful ‘But I love you more’ words.”

A light smile came onto her lips at his treasured words. Jaejoong is right. Whatever belongs to her will always stay hers. No one can steal him away from her, not even Jessica & the future he had just mentioned would come true if only she would just not think of Jessica trying to ruin their lovely life. Love wasn’t built of jealousy & arguing. Love was built because of him.

She choked out a small laugh & jumped into his arms, “Thanks Oppa. I love you.”

“I know, but I love you more.” He chuckled, “& you know you can’t denied that.”

“Oh.” Yuri sighed, “I never denied it Oppa. Never ever. You are the best lover ever.” She pulled back & looked into his eyes with want, “Do you promise to love & hold me forever?”

Jaejoong laughed, “You are so silly, Yul.” He soothed his hand over her pink cheek, “Of course, I do. I said that on our wedding day. Don’t you remember?”

“I remember every word you said on that special day, Oppa. I just want to make sure.” She put her hand over his on her cheek, “Do you remember what next week is?”

Jaejoong smiled, “Of course, I do. It’s the anniversary of our first kiss. Now, how could I have forgotten that? It was one of the most specialist days of my life to have kissed such a beautiful, young lady like you. You were a good kisser for your first time you know, & I enjoyed the kiss more than ever.”

“Thanks for the compliment but save your poetry for later. I don’t want you to spoil it for me.” Her smile faded, “After all those words you had said to me Oppa, I know I shouldn’t be asking you this but I just can’t help it.”

“What is it, sweetie?” He asked, as he kissed her forehead.

“What do you think about Jessica? Do you think she’s gorgeous? Sweet? Lovable? When you were talking to her, I saw that you couldn’t even stop staring at her.” She hesitated, “Do you have a somewhat feeling for her?”

Jaejoong groaned & closed his eyes. He raked his hands through his hair & opened his eyes to look down at her again, “Yul. I think of Jessica as a friend only. She’s a very lovely woman who is very shy & I want her to get use to us. I want her to feel welcome.”

“That’s all?”

Jaejoong nodded, “That’s all.”

“But promise me that you would never cheat on me with another beautiful woman.”

“I promise, Yul. I swear.” Jaejoong whispered, with his hand up in the air.

“Thank you Oppa.” She took his hands in hers, “I think we should go back in. They will be wondering where we are.”

“Let’s go than.” They walked back in silence as Jaejoong cursed himself for lying to Yuri, ‘The first lie.’ His mind kept on saying, ‘The first lie.’

They sat down to have dinner out on the back balcony with the dark sky on them. The light lamps shined sideways & upways. Jaejoong looked across the table & saw Jessica looking at him. He gave her a smile & turned back to his eating & thoughts. He lied about his true feelings about Jessica to Yuri. He was having a feeling inside of him that was stirring up for Jessica. A feeling that he had feel about Yuri the first time he went out with her was going to Jessica. It wasn’t love yet but he knew it had grow.

The only thing he can’t believe was that he had lied to Yuri. He had half-broken his vows of love to her. He has a wife who loves him dearly & what was he doing? He was having another feeling for another woman. He can’t tell himself how much he hated his heart & mind for doing this to Yuri. Killing himself was far more better than doing any of this to her but somehow, he can’t control his own feelings.

After telling Yuri what he saw in the future, Jaejoong felted; somehow lifeless. Lying to her was enough but talking about the future was far more worst. He was saying it but he knew it would never come true if his feelings for Jessica kept growing. He liked her gentleness & sweetness that she gives out. Her patients were long & she was gorgeous. He wasn’t planning on cheating on Yuri & he never will, hopefully.

“Oppa? What’s wrong?” Yuri asked.

He turned to her & smiled smoothly, “Nothing, sweetie.” ‘You are lying again.’ His mind said.

“Yul.”

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t feel right. Do you want to go home now?” Jaejoong said.

Yuri frowned & felted his forehead, “No fever but we will go if you want to. I’m done eating anyway.”

Jaejoong nodded & got up, “Mom, dad. Yuri & I will be going now. It’s getting late & I have a big day tomorrow at court.”

“Go ahead honey, & drive carefully.” Mrs. Kim said.

“I will. Goodnight mom. Goodnight everyone.” Saying their goodnights, Jaejoong & Yuri walked out of the house & drove home.

“Is it your stomach again?” Yuri asked, during the ride.

“No. I just feel sick somewhere in this brain of mine.” Jaejoong said, trying to make a joke out of it.

"Seriously Oppa. Where are you hurt at?”

Jaejoong looked at Yuri quickly & averted his attention back to driving. Should he tell her the truth & say, ‘Yul, honey. I’m about to cheat on you with Jessica’. He shook his head. That was a lame answer. She will kill him before he get to the last word out, ‘What to say, what to say?’ His other evil side said, ‘Tell the truth, man.’ The angel begged, ‘You, shut up!’ ‘Why don’t you just go back to hell & don’t interfere with god?’

‘God my .’ The devil said, ‘Why you?’

Jaejoong shook his head & parked the car in the lot, “It’s definitely the brain, Yul.”

Yuri hid her smile & got out of the car. Jaejoong walked towards her & grabbed her hand. She smiled brightly up at him. His heart melted into gold, “I love you, Yul.” He hated himself for doing this to her. She didn’t deserve one salt of it. It was going to be his entire fault for letting someone else falls into his arms.

Yuri’s smile faded. He was acting weird after their talk & she was worried. She can tell he was hiding something. Something that he didn’t & never wanted to tell her, “I love you too Oppa, but you are acting weird. What’s wrong?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I love you, Yul. What’s wrong with that?” Jaejoong asked, a little too sharp. He took in a deep breath as Yuri’s holding on his hand loosened. She looked up at him instead of turning away, “I guess nothing’s wrong with that.” Yuri whispered, with a tight swallow, “It’s just that you were acting different tonight.”

They entered the building & walked into the elevator. Jaejoong pressed the button with their floor level. Exactly, what was wrong with him tonight? Jessica was always in his head & he felt like he was crushing Yuri with his foot. He didn’t want the feeling there. It was killing him with all the fusing.

“I’m sorry, Yul. I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight but I feel like I’m killing myself with this pain. Forgive me?” Jaejoong said.

The elevator door opened. They walked out with their hands still together, “I guess you are forgiven but I don’t know why I should forgive you.”

“You are right.” Jaejoong said, with a sigh, “I shouldn’t be forgiven.” He unlocked the door & opened it. Yuri took her hand out of his & walked in first, “What could I do so you will forgive me?”

She turned around quickly & pumped into his chest, “Do you really want me to forgive you, Oppa?” She asked, with a high, crying self-confident.

“Yes.” Jaejoong replied. He took her hands in his.

“Look into my eyes.” He did, “Do you see all my love for you in there?” He nodded, “Do you believe that there will ever be a future in there for us?” He searched her eyes but didn’t answer just yet, “Is that a no, Oppa?” She asked, as her eyes shine with tears.

Jaejoong nodded his head. Yuri’s heart sunk. She snatched her hands out of his & glared at him, “You...You lied to me at your parents house. Why? Why Oppa? I hate lawyers. I should have never married you.” She stepped back but he moved forward & grabbed her hands in his again, “Let my hands go.”

“Yul, wait. You didn’t let me finish.” She didn’t stop fidgeting. He circled her with his arms, “Yul. Let me finish first before you yelled at me again.”

“Why should I? You…”

“I see more than our future.” He interrupted her. She stopped fidgeting & settled down in his arms with her ears open. Everything was silent but her silent sobbing, “I see the world before us. I see the brightness of eternity of our love. We were made to love because of the world that needs us. Each rose petals that I give to you will be cherish & will be open at the end to let everyone know that I love you & you love me. They are dehydrated but they are not dead yet. There is still life in them because there is more than the future beyond that & the beyond the future is only you & me. No one else.” He said, all with a whisper. Even with all the feeling that he had for Jessica now, he still had the love to say that to her. His wife is a loving song.

She sobbed into his chest & at the end, she started to laugh like she had gone crazy, “Oh. I hate you Oppa. You scared me.” She didn’t rises her head to look up at him.

“I know.” He pressed her to him with his love, “I’m sorry. Truly I am.”

“I forgive you now.” She raised her head & kissed his cheeks, “Forgive me, too?”

“Why?”

She covered his mouth with hers & didn’t let a word out of him. She kissed him as if afraid he will leave her. He kissed her as if life will end for him. They kissed each other as if love will cheat.

She pulled away as far as eight-tenth of a millimeter, “For being an idiot.” She whispered, out of breath & kissed him on the mouth again.