Chapter 54

Their eyes were still locked. Yuri knew he meant his apologies. He looked straight into her eyes when he told her so but a stubborn woman like her would never accept such apologies that soon. One thing she couldn’t help but squinted her eyes was at his last sentence. She raised her chin, quite confused on what he was getting to. Or did she just didn’t want to understand him?

“I see your understatement. It doesn’t sound so urgent to me.”

“But did you see my last statement?” He asked, with a shake of his head.

She ignored his question, “All I see is you trying to stop me from going back to the states with Hyunnie. You had your said yesterday, Jaejoong Oppa. So did I.”

“You don’t know why I went so easy on you with the month to month schedule. I could have refused to let you have Hyunnie for the first month. I could have refused your no as my answer.”

Yuri crossed her hands over her chest, “Then why didn’t you do so?”

He raised a serious brow, “You won’t like my answer completely.”

“Try me.”

Jaejoong glanced down. He wasn’t about to give his answer out that easy, “Didn’t I said earlier that love develops from hate?”

She gave a jerky nod to his answer then a shook of her head to her own, “It doesn’t. Hate stays the same.”

He shook his head slowly, “That’s not how I see it when I first met you. It was hate at first sight. You almost killed me with that strong punch of yours but it seemed like we got along later on, on our first date. Do you remember?” He asked, but she didn’t respond. Her chin was proudly raised, “Love came to us & then marriage came on us. Then we got Hyunnie.”

Her stare turned hard as he mentioned her son, “It’s good that you remembered but do you remember having a woman in our apartment? Do you remember cheating on me? Do you remember getting a divorce with me? Do you remember anything that broke the love that we once had?” She didn’t know why she was asking him those entire questions. Maybe it was time to ask before leaving all of these behind again. Or maybe it was something else she couldn’t quite catch.

Her voice was plain, her chin high, her stare intelligent & her body warm but he rose a brow which annoyed her! “I remember.” He whispered lightly, but yet, so husky she remembered that voice on her wedding night, “That’s good.” She said, with a swallow, “& now, you will remember not to say hate can develop from love to me anymore because it can’t with us. Not ever.”

“Why? Are you scared of falling in love with me again?”

Yuri flinched slightly but her countenance hasn’t change. She shook her head while their eyes were still locked, “I never believed that you loved me. I only believed that we were married once.”

His eyes turned hard. So, she had the heart to say that exactly. What point did she put in it? There was something more into those two sentences instead of only her voice, he swore. She didn’t sound indifferent. In fact, she sounded as if she was hiding something.

“Don’t regret what you are saying, Yuri.” His voice was full of hostile.

“I’m not. I’m actually glad that I’m saying that to you right now. I regret marrying you. I regret loving you. I regret having anything to do with you.” ‘Was that me speaking?’ She asked herself.

“I see.” He choked out, averting his face, “So, you regretted having Hyunnie from that seed I gave you?”

She turned abruptly to meet his averted face. She took a step sideways & made him look into her eyes, “Hyunnie had nothing to do with our marriage.”

“He’s our son.”

“You didn’t even know of him during that period of time!” She said, her voice finally raising.

“How could I when someone hid him away from me?” He asked, taking the step towards her to make no gap between them. He could feel her chest against his but he made no move to step away. Nor did she.

She squinted her eyes angrily up at him, “You should know your own question. You just told me you remembered everything. How could you ask me?”

Jaejoong turned completely away from her, crossed his arms & faced the car. She blinked, relieve that he had finally turned away & relieve that their skins weren’t in contract anymore. He folded his arms on top of his car & stared at the house straight from him.

“I had been wanting to ask you, Yuri.” He took a swallow before continuing, “I know you can’t live with a man who doesn’t love you anymore but why didn’t you tell me about Hyunnie in the first place? Why? We could had worked everything out. I still loved you back than before the divorce happened.” He closed his eyes, wondering if he should say it out, “I still love you even a year after the divorce.”

She stared at his back. became dried. She blinked several times. Did she hear right? Or was she having hearing trouble? Was that regret in his voice? If so, did she feel happy that he regretted cheating on her?

“Then why did you ask for the divorce?” Yuri asked quietly.

He closed his eyes, squeezing the tears back in, “I knew sooner or later you would ask for it. Wouldn’t you?” She nodded with a jerky moment but then remembered that she was facing his back, “Of course.”

He grimaced, “But we could had still worked it out.”

“No, we couldn’t.” She replied, too quickly, “I didn’t love you anymore. You had your mistress, the one you love.” She almost choked, “How could we have worked it out? Fake love like you had asked me to remarry you? Just stay marry for Hyunnie with you still cheating on me?” She shook her head, “That would never work out.” “I should had never signed the papers!” He hissed silently.

“You did more than signed the papers. You asked for it. You typed them out. You did everything to get the divorce. How could you not sign it?”

He didn’t know the answer. Or was it that he just didn’t want to answer that question?

“& you don’t know how much I hated you then.” Yuri added, “You don’t know how much I wanted to slap that handsome face of yours when you keep saying that you still love me.”

“Why didn’t you slap me then? Especially when you found me kissing another woman? Most women would never leave a man free just like that. They will slap his face as quick as he had cheated on her.”

Her eyes were still on his back, “I’m not most women.”

Jaejoong opened his eyes & glanced up. He so much remembered that sentences on their wedding night. She wasn’t most women & he gave her the promise of being a gentleman. They went through that night passionately but there wasn’t another night left for them. There were tons for his future bride.

“I’m glad you are not.” He said lowly, “You are free to slap me, you know?” He turned around & knew she had been staring at his back. She glanced up into his eyes, “Never had you slapped me before but I so much deserve more than one from you.”

Yuri didn’t nod but begin to lift her chin again, “Yes, you do.”

He waited for the slap while looking down at her but none came, “Why not now?”

“It will be a waste of my energy.” She replied rudely.

He flinched as though she had slapped him already but worst, that was even more painful than the invisible slap.

Yuri glanced at her seiko solar excelsior two-tone stainless steel link bracelet watch. It was time. She peered back up at him, “I will be leaving now since your urgent call is over.”

“I have something for Hyunnie.” He said quickly.

She tilted her head to the side, “That’s enough. You had already toyed him with your money. I don’t think he needs them anymore.”

Jaejoong sighed at her words, “It’s not about my money. I bought him some fun stuff so he can…”

“If you really consider him being your son, please let him be alone with me for my time.” She interrupted him.

“I would really appreciate that.”

He frowned at her but it was more of an angry frown, “Why do you always hate the things I do for him? He’s my son, not only yours.” He blinked slowly, “I know it’s the past but please let the past be the past. We are in the present now.”

She sniffed somewhat angrily at his words. It was impossible for him to still love her after a year of their divorcement. Did he mean to tell her that he suffered a year of what he had done? Did he go through the first year of divorcement with pain like her? Did he miss her at all? Even with all that love he had had? Did he regret divorcing her?

Of course not, Yuri finally answered her own question after many times of asking herself. He signed the papers with no hesitation.

“Unless, Yuri.” He spoke, “You still hadn’t gotten over the past completely. Maybe you still feel the same for me but don’t want to admit it. Or maybe you just love to continue the arguments with me that we always have. Maybe you consider them fun. Maybe those are the reason why you kept me from seeing our son all the time. Am I not right?”

Glaring at him, Yuri so much wanted to slap him as he had asked for but if she did so, he will think that his words were right. That will only make him see her weaknesses that she had kept hidden away from his sight. Yet, she cursed herself for rethinking of his words.

“Give it to him.” She finally said, seeing his body relax, “But don’t let him see your face.”

“Why not?” He asked, grabbing her by the arm to stop her from walking away.

“He would never board the airplane after seeing you, I know.”

His face hardened, “You told him I was going, too, didn’t you?” Yuri nodded jerkily after a while. His face grew darker with his breathing increasing, “Damn you, Yuri! Why did you have to lie to him?”

She jerked her arm away from his hold & pointed her chin up, “It’s the only way. He will cry if I tell him that we are going back home without you.” She added, “Worst, he would never get on the plane.”

Jaejoong growled with an oath & turned around like a madman. With his fists, he pounded the top of his car. Averting back to face her again, he threw her a glare & growled, “That’s a useless lie, Yuri! He will find out sooner or later that I wasn’t on the plane after you landed!”

“Then what do you want me to do?!” She asked, her voice raising as his own, “Stay here in Korea to see my life get ruin even more?! Let you go with us?! Tell me what do you want me to do, Oppa, since you don’t like my idea at all?!”

He nodded with a hard swallow, mad at her & himself, “You told me no, Yuri, but I’m going to ask you one last time. Remarry me.”

“I will not remarry you!” She hissed out, with a gnarl.

“I asked. You didn’t accept.” He said, with a shrug, “Don’t lie to our son more than you are now.”

Yuri bit her lips to keep her own anger down. They lie to him everyday.

“Leave those presents near my parents’ car. I will put them in afterwards.” She let out a deep, warm breath, “Goodbye.”

“Yeah, goodbye.” He said, not really knowing what he was saying. He stepped forward, planning to kiss her cheek but then, decided against it. Yuri stared at him weirdly. To cover up his embarrassment, he covered his mouth with his fist & pretended to cough, ‘She wouldn’t like it.’ Jaejoong thought, “I have a present for you, too.” He said, after she turned around, letting him see her back once again. He could feel her brows narrowing in confusions.

“I don’t want it.” She could tell he was raising his mischievous brows.

“It’s a small present & I would love it if you accept it like a friend.” He reached into his pockets, “Here.” He said gently, holding it out. She didn’t turn around. He waited, “Please, Yuri?”

She still didn’t turn around but instead, said “I forgot to congratulate you. I wish you & Jessica luck in the near future. Please give her my best wishes.”

“Thank you but…”

“I almost forgot something.” She interrupted, “About the three thousand dollars, I will pay you a fifth each month. I hope that won’t be a problem with you?”

Jaejoong frowned, “What three thousand dollars?”

“The money you gave us for my mom’s surgery. I can’t just forget about that.”

“Oh.” Jesus, he had forgotten about that, wishing she had, too. It wasn’t a big deal to him but to her, she just insisted to repay him back, “Don’t worry about that. I…”

“I don’t accept charity. I will see to it that the money gets to you.” She interrupted him once again.

“Goodbye.”

With that, she walked away. He reached out to grab her arm but stopped himself. Looking down at the gift, he sighed & placed it back into his pocket. Congratulations, she had told him. So, she didn’t mind him getting married at all.

Jaejoong his lips & looked back up to stare at the house. This was repeating over, “Goodbye.” He whispered, “Again.”

A/N: i'm sorry, i'm messing the chaps. up