Chapter 9

“I’m sorry Yuri, but I want a divorce.” Jaejoong repeated thoroughly.

Her breathing didn’t stop but it increased with rapid. Her face turned paler & her lips trembled with a force. Why did he have to repeat it the second time? True, she wanted the divorce but she didn’t think she would have to hear it from his mouth. She was the one who wanted to say it but Jaejoong had cut up in front of her & won. She wanted the divorce more than he did. She was the one who was being step on & wanted this to be over with but Jaejoong, he wanted the divorce just to be with another woman.

“Yuri?” He asked, & took some steps forward, “Are you okay?”

She stepped back & tried to calm down her breathing. She took several swallows with her eyes focus on Jaejoong. It was more hurtful to hear him say that word than her saying it to him. She saw him walking up to her, despite her walking away. He held her shoulders, “Yuri.”

She frowned, “Why are you calling me Yuri?”

“I just…”

She removed his hands from her shoulder & glared at him with her breathing turning to normal, “The divorce is fine with me Jae Oppa. I wouldn’t want to live with you anymore after what you had done.”

“I know you are mad at me Yuri.” He said.

“No Oppa.” Yuri said. She turned around, “I want the divorce over tonight.”

“Are you sure? I mean, we can wait until next month to…”

“I had never been more sure than in my whole life. Even on our wedding, I didn’t know why I said I do.” Yuri said, through her gritted teeth, “That was the first time I had ever made a mistake; marrying a man who I didn’t know that would cheat on me.” She took in a deep breath, “Do you think you made a mistake marrying me?”

Jaejoong stared at her back. He could tell that she was trying to take out the pain he had built inside of her & give it to him; & her way was working, “No Yuri, I had never thought that I had made a mistake marrying you. You were a big impact on my life & I know you didn’t make a mistake marrying me either.”

Yuri averted her body & stare at him angrily, “I want the divorce to be over tonight.”

Jaejoong nodded, “If that’s what you want, I will type the papers tonight.”

“No Oppa! That is what you want!” Yuri said angrily, despite her trembling voice. She wiped her tears with the sleeve of her pitch black markled textured knit cover up sweater, “Just type the papers while I pack up.” Yuri walked away leaving Jaejoong feeling guilty. He just felt the urge to jump off a bridge right now. He understand why she wanted the divorce so fast. She wanted to get away from him & from the wound that he had causes.

He really still does love her but more than half of his heart was given to Jessica. He had fallen so fast in love with Jessica & he still wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing divorcing Yuri. They had married young but that didn’t have anything to do with the divorce. Love can happen at anytime. Cheating can happen at anytime but you will never know when a divorce can come.

Jaejoong controlled his anger at himself & walked to his workroom. He took his seat behind the desk & began typing but stop just as his fingers were about to touch the keyboard. Where to start? What to type? How to finish? How could he possibly type his own divorce paper? It could kill him just as much as he had wounded Yuri. His mind had gone blank already. He really couldn’t type the papers. Since his career started, Jaejoong had never had problems typing divorce files but now, he felt like he was taking another big risk of his own life. His fingers touched the edge of the keyboard but pulled them back as he felt a sharp cut on his ring finger. He stared at his hands but saw no cut or blood. His eyes moved lower & stopped on his triton titanium wedding ring. The ring shined into his eyes caused by the light. Jaejoong closed his eyes & moved his hand away. Opening his eyes back up, he stared blankly into ring. He remembered their wedding day & every word that he said to her & now, he truly known that he had broken his vows. He didn’t mean too, but he did. Vows were said to keep, not to run away from it. That’s what he did. Funny, Jaejoong had never lied or made her cried until the day he met Jessica but he will never forget their wedding day. It is one of his most kept memories.

His eyes glittered with shiny tears but he quickly brushed them away as they fell. His right hands slowly rise & his fingers touched the wedding ring. He wriggled the ring but it was stuck. He tried again, & still, it was stuck. Jaejoong shook his head as a thought he was scared of popped into his brain. His breathing increased as he again, tried to take the ring off of his finger. The ring loosened as so his breathing. He gradually pulled the ring out of his finger & examined it. ‘But I love you more’ was engraved on the ring. A sad smile came upon his lips.

“You don’t have to keep the wedding ring.” Her voice said, behind him. He looked up from the ring but didn’t turn around to look at her. She sniffed, “I’m donating mine to the orphanage. Do whatever you want with it. Throw it away, burn it, give it to Jessica. I don’t care.”

Yuri took the ½ ct. t.w. 14k white gold three-stone diamond ring out of her finger easily. She looked at it as the words ‘But I love you more’ crossed her eyes. She bit back her tears.

“Give it to me Yuri.” Jaejoong said.

She looked up at his back, “Why do you want it?!” Her voice snapped, “You have your own!”

“I will help you give it to the orphanage. I know you won’t have the heart to.” Jaejoong looked up at her & almost cried out as her tears fell down just looking at the ring. He turned back around & stared blankly at the computer.

“No thank you.” She said, “Did you think that I would trust you after lying to me so much?”

Jaejoong looked down, “I was just asking Yuri. If you don’t want me too, you don’t have, too.” He changed the subject, “Are you done packing up already?”

“No.” Yuri said, free & easy. She put her ring in her pocket & looked at the computer screen. There were no words written on the page, “You haven’t type yet?” Her voice started to get angry, “I want to get out of here as fast as I could Oppa! You don’t have to type pages to pages. Just type one paragraph with the word divorce in it!”

Jaejoong squeezed the ring tightly in his hands at her words. He shouldn’t be mad at her for saying those words but she acted as if she didn’t care at all, “I’m sorry.” He said calmly, as he let out a breath, “My fingers seems to not be working so well. I will start typing now. Go pack up your stuff. I will be finish within minutes.”

She nodded & looked at his back. Her soul was aching so much just to talk about the divorce but it ached more knowing that the baby inside of her won’t be having the once loving father anymore. She wouldn’t let her baby live like that either. The baby deserves a better father but worse, if she tells him, he will steal her baby away from her & divorce her later. Her life needed someone to love her dearly, not like Jaejoong. They were better off without him. If she tells him, he will make her stay & she will have to live with him cheating on her again. She couldn’t possibly live with that & she won’t be.

Yuri bit her gum & walked out. She walked to their bedroom & started packing up again. All of her clothes were packed already into one suitcase. Now, she needed to get her things other than her clothes. Yuri took out another suitcase.

She opened the little drawer that looked like a box that Jaejoong had bought for her. Peering inside, Yuri took out a big folder. She opened it & skimmed her fingers languidly over the rose petals that were inside the plastic covers. The first one that he had ever given to her was on the top left corner.

“I love you.” She quote the so well written words, “Do you?” She remembered that day so well.

Yuri turned a few plastic covers & came to the rose petal that said, ‘But I love you more’.

“No, you don’t, Oppa. I love you more.” She whispered. Her eyes burned, “How could you even say that you love me?”

She let the tears fall down her face as she turned several more covers, “Marry me.” Yuri quote, reading a petal, “I will.” She whispered.

It hurts enough to see the petals he had given to her. She wanted to throw them away but it was just too precious. She loves him. It was hard getting up someone you love but then, love can’t always go the way you wanted.

Closing the binder, Yuri let out a deep sigh. She took everything out of the drawer & packed it into the suitcase. Everything was packed. It was time to do the worst. She carried everything out into the living room & called for a cab. There was no way she was going to take the car he had bought her. It was too expensive & he would probably want to keep it. She took out the keys & put it on the hall table.

Letting out another big sigh, she walked back into Jaejoong’s workroom. Yuri took a peep inside & saw him standing handsomely near the printer. The divorce paper was ready to be sign. She promised herself she wouldn’t hesitate when signing the papers.

Jaejoong took out the papers & looked towards the door. He smiled. Instead of loving his smile, she detested it, ‘He’s really happy about getting the divorce, isn’t he?’ She asked herself, ‘I might as well be happy, too.’ “Ready?” He asked.

“Never a better time.” She said, & walked towards him. She took one glance at the papers & trembled. It looked so long; he must have taken his time, “I will sign first.” Without a response from him, Yuri snatched the papers & a black pen from the pencil holder. Before she could sign her name down on the paper, Jaejoong spoke up.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait?” He asked.

She sharply looked up at him, “You are the one who asked for it & we both know you & I can’t wait to have our separate lives again. Am I not right?”

“Look Yuri. I just don’t want you to regret signing the papers. I…”

“Why would I regret?” She asked. God damn him, he was making it harder on them both! The man wanted the divorce, right? Then why not just get it over with? She could hardly stand the sight of him again, to make her hurt more when she already is, “Why would I regret it when I had already regretted marrying a man like you?” Her tears began to fall down again. She silenced her voice, “Our parents were right Oppa. We should had never gotten married so young. We could had waited.” She quickly brushed her tears away, despite more tears coming down from her eyes, “I wish I had never married you.” She sniffed & placed the pen on the line. Jaejoong’s hand stopped her.

“You know you didn’t mean that Yuri. I never did regretted marrying you. I had the greatest time of my life with you & I will always keep those memories.” He said.

She snatched her hand away from him, “Don’t sweet talk with me Oppa. If you want the divorce, let’s get it over with. If you want to be with Jessica, let’s not waste the precious time. If you want to get rid of me, I will sign the papers now. Don’t waste my time Oppa; I have my own things to do.”

“Sign the papers then!” He said angrily & carelessly, “There’s three spots you have to sign on! One copy is yours & one is mine! The other is also mine since I’m the lawyer here!”

“It’s fine with me.” She said, & looked back down at the papers. Her eyes glittered & two drops of tears fell onto the papers, one for her, the other for her baby, “Don’t hesitate.” She whispered to herself.

Yuri landed her pen onto the spot where Jaejoong had stopped her earlier & signed her name neatly. She turned the page & signed it. The next page was more difficult for her, signing the last one means her life was over with him completely. She turned the page & smoothed her hand over the paper. Jaejoong stared down at her with a grim. He averted his gaze away from her & stared up at the ceiling.

Yuri closed her eyes & signed the last paper causally. With each letters that she had signed down, with each blindness her love for him grew. She ended her name with JY written down sloppily so he couldn’t read it. She slid the papers away from her sight & dropped the pen motionless down onto the desk.

Jaejoong looked down at the papers, “My turn?” He asked, to take the silence air away.

“Yes.” Yuri said dryly. She moved away from the desk & stared down at his handwriting. It looked as if he had no problem signing it. His movement was sensitive & sharp but she could see that his jaw tightened with every move he made. Jaejoong signed the last paper & let out a breath.

“I guess it’s over.” He said plainly.

“I know.” Yuri stated, “Bye.”

“Before you go, I have something to give to you.” He reached into his blue levi’s 501 original shrink-to-fit rigid wash jean pocket & took out a little blue box. Handing it to her, Jaejoong said, “It’s a late gift for our first kiss anniversary. I just got it made today. Open it.”

Yuri looked at the little gift dumfounded. She slowly reached out for it & took it into her small hands. Her fingers took off the small white bow. She opened the lid & stared down at the small, gold rose petal. Slowly, Yuri took the gold petal from the box & smoothed her hands over it. She felt some engraving words & read it in a whisper.

“But I love you more.” Yuri averted her head & looked up at him with shiny eyes, “Why are you giving me this? You don’t love me nor love me more Oppa. I do. I love you more than you love me but now, I hate you for giving me this after we just signed the divorce papers. I won’t have this.”

“It’s just a late gift Yuri.”

“It isn’t a gift to me at all. I don’t want.” She took his hands & placed the box & petal in his palm, “Keep it for someone you really do love. Goodbye.”

Yuri walked out of the room after grabbing her page of the divorce. Jaejoong called her name but she ignored him. He cursed at himself & put the gift on his desk & followed her. Yuri opened the door & walked back to get her two suitcases.

Yuri looked at him through her red eyes, “I’m taking a cab. Of course, I don’t want to take your car. I put the keys & your cell phone on the hall table. Don’t mind me for using it in the past.” She took the two suitcases & walked out.

“Yuri, it’s your car. Take it.” He said, following her.

“No thank you.”

He sighed at her stubbornness, “Here. Let me help you.” Jaejoong said, as he reached out for her suitcases. Yuri pulled back.

“I can carry them by myself. Began your new life over again, Oppa. Goodbye.” Yuri stared at him for a while, gathering his handsome face into her head. She blinked & tears started to fall down her face again. No matter how hard she tries not to cry, her tears will always fall with him in her mind.

“Bye.” He whispered, & watched her walked away from the apartment, from his life forever.

Broken vows, broken promises, broken love forever, dying dehydrated rose petals, dying of one two-body, dying of ‘But I love you more’ from him all.