Chapter 79

As she came out of the bathroom, Jaejoong walked away from the window. It was past one but he kept his words. Yuri brushed her brow-dried hair back. She climbed onto the bed & he followed. He turned off the lamp & settled uncomfortably away from her. He wanted to hold her but he was afraid that she might detests & not listen to what he had to say.

“I met with Jessica today.” She didn’t say anything or made a sound, “It was during lunch.” She hugged the blanket closer to her chest, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth earlier why I skipped lunch with you but I guess I didn’t have the nerves.”

“I knew you can never keep your words of not lying.” She remarked, “I’m not surprises.”

“It’s not like that, Yul. I…”

“Not like what, Jaejoong Oppa? You mean it’s not like you are actually cheating on me again? You are just telling me this before I find out from another person or see it coincidentally, right?”

“No, I...I just don’t feel right lying to you.”

“But you were earlier. Tell me, Oppa, is this the first time you had been with her since our wedding?”

“No.” He said, not hesitating, “This is the second time.”

“I guess it’s just a friend to friend meeting, right? I couldn’t be wrong. Why else would you meet her again? Thanks for mentioning this to me. If I see you two together coincidentally, I would understand & not get the wrong idea.”

Jaejoong growled gently. He averted & pulled her onto his chest. She didn’t protests. He buried his face into her hair, “Why are you saying all of those stuff? I won’t cheat on you, Yul. You are my wife.”

“It doesn’t mean that you won’t cheat on me again. Remember those words you said to me years ago of not cheating on me? Well, you broke them.”

“& I regretted that I did.” He kissed her neck. She began to pull away but he pulled her back, “Don’t. I don’t love Jessica anymore, Yul. Please understand that? There’s nothing between her & me anymore.” He moved her hair away & placed his lips at the back of her neck. His eyes closed, “I love you.”

Yuri held her breath. She closed her eyes tightly. Her hands tried to shove his grasps away but he held her tighter as she did so, “I’m sorry that you love me.”

His brows narrowed in confusion with love, “What do you mean?”

“This is over between us long ago, Oppa. Whatever you say to me means nothing. I had had only one love but he broke my heart. That was the first cut ever & it had hurtled so deeply. You are wasting your time on loving me back.”

“Saying that you don’t love me?” She nodded. He shook his head & held her tightly, “You are lying to me. I know you are. My love for you had never vanished. I was just too stupid to see it until the morning after our wedding night. I would have never made love to you unless I didn’t love you.”

“It was the bargain, Oppa. I was to give you another child.”

“No. I set that bargain up only because I love you. I remarried you because I love you. I tried to amend everything that I had done wrong in the past because I really love you.” He paused shortly, “If you don’t love me, turn to look into my eyes & say it.”

“You will regret that, too, Oppa.”

“I will if only you won’t say it.”

Yuri blinked slowly then turned around to look at him. She searched for his eyes but couldn’t see through the darkness. Giving up, she whispered, “I don’t love you.”

Jaejoong closed his eyes. He pulled her onto his chest before she can turn around. She didn’t fight to get free. The bareness of his chest could never find what she had in stored in her heart. Yuri had said the words so calmly she didn’t even realize that it was her own. How she had hid it, she didn’t know but she knows that her words were her own lies. She loves the blasted man.

Yuri pressed together. She had never stopped loving him. Trust had only kept her from saying it. No matter how much he says it, she would never be able to trust the man she uses to trust again. If she say the three words, god knows what would happen next. The three words he had said had burned her heart unconsciously. She had thought he had stopped loving her but he never had. Why can’t he just love a woman & stop searching for another?

Her life in the states had been a disaster, living in a brokenhearted world but she hid it so well. It was all because of him. Yuri lie to herself that she didn’t love him anymore but she knows she still does. All those years, she had waited for his love again, but she kept it in. Now, it was his turn to wait for the given words.

“I love you. I really do.” She heard him saying now, “I regret leaving you. I was stupid. I thought my life was happy until you came back. How could I have gone on without you? Your face was always in front of me. You were my first love & I your first. Can we not be the same? Let’s continue that first year we spent living together. Can we not, Yul?”

“I don’t love you, don’t you remember?”

“You like him, don’t you? You like that coach. I know you do.”

She closed her eyes in tiredness, “He has nothing to do with us.”

“You sound tired. I kept you up again. I’m so sorry. Go ahead & sleep. Tomorrow Hyunnie & I will let you sleep in. You had been working too hard. Go to sleep, Yul. Goodnight.”

& everyday after that & every time she sees him, he would give her a rose petal with those three words written on it or words that will comfort her. She pretend not to care & stuff them carelessly into her pocket or anything that was available & then afterward, she would placed them into a chest she had bought just for the petals in her office.

He surprised her with dinner & smiles that always make her knees go weak. Her position as a stubborn woman wasn’t ruined to his sweetness just yet. Yuri still reacted to him as nothing had been spoken lovingly. She doesn’t even know if he truly loves her & wasn’t lying.

She spent most of her time after school decorating their new house & with Taehyun running from here to there, she had more then things to keep her mind off from work & off from her loving husband. Jaejoong insisted for her never to enter their bedroom. For he going to surprises her with the most exquisite bedroom in history. Unnoticed to him, Taehyun explained bits of pieces he saw while helping his daddy to her, even when she didn’t want to hear anything.

Driving home from school, Yuri parked her car in the parking lot, noticing that Jaejoong was home already. She took the elevator up to their apartment. As she opened the door, his voice & another male’s voice reached her. A frown slightly creased on her forehead. Taehyun’s toot-toot voice rang out while he was playing with his new toy train. Hesitating, Yuri closed the door behind her. She placed her black ring in tides shoulder bag & keys on the hall table & averted to meet the living room.

“Have to check that with my wife. I.” Jaejoong looked up & smiled, not finishing his sentence. He stood up. Walking over to her, he kissed her lightly on the lips, “Hey.”

“Who’s here?”

“Come & I will introduce you to him.” He took her hands & walked over to living room. A pump man stood with a look she couldn’t tell what he held, “Mr. Jung, this is my wife Yuri. Yuri, meet Inho Jung, Jessica’s father.”

A little surprises came onto her face but the man appeared not to notice. She shook his pump hands with a greeting. He sat back down as if nothing of the interruption had happened. Taehyun, seeing his mommy, ran to her & gave her a big hug & kiss. Then he ran back to his newly bought toy train.

“It’s just going to be for a few days then the case will be over. You can stay in my house. I have more than plenty of rooms.”

“I.” Jaejoong turned to his confused wife then back to Mr. Jung, “Will you excuse us?” The man nodded. Jaejoong stood up & took Yuri gently by the hands. When they reached their rooms, Jaejoong left the door ajar an inch. He raked his hair, “Yul, I actually forgot to tell you something again. Mr. Jung’s having a bit of trouble with his company. He’s being sued because of stealing & misprinting school textbooks. He needs money & my help.” Jaejoong sighed & rubbed the back of his neck, “If so, I have to leave Korea for San Francisco by tomorrow morning. It’s going to take a few days but I…”

“It’s your job, Oppa. Go ahead. I will be fine with Hyunnie.”

“But I…” He started again, but was interrupted by her.

“Go. I can manage it. I’m sure our school hadn’t ordered any new textbooks yet but what if we had? It’s going to be a problem for us. Please, just go?”

His look undecided but then he leaned down & kissed her forehead, “I will go but I’m going to miss you & Hyunnie. I will call every night & come home as soon as I can.”

“Take your time.” Yuri said in a hushed tone, wishing that she hadn’t said it. More time will only make her miss him. He took her by the hand again, & walked back out. Mr. Jung seemed to be happier at the news. He paid less attention to her as she was his daughter’s head-to-near rival, competing for Jaejoong. She tried not to dislike him but failed. It wasn’t every day that she met a person she didn’t like.

The sharp look Mr. Jung gave her was more of threatening then madness. Jaejoong notice, for he did everything a couple wouldn’t be doing in front of an adult who dislike doing so. His hand around her waist was assuring her more then doing whatever he was doing. At last, as if Mr. Jung couldn’t stand it anymore, he stood up & quickly said his goodbye .

Jaejoong smiled but Yuri stood up & went into the kitchen to prepare dinner. She let out a relieved breath as he didn’t follow her & yet, maybe it was best if they were apart for some days. She will miss him but it was worth it not to let him know that she still love him.

When dinner was over in a slow motion process, she was sure it had never end, she sat on her chair trying to concentrate on what was shown on the monitor instead of his voice talking on the phone with his secretary. She could tell the woman was just as frustrated as Jaejoong by how he moved the phone away from his ear when she shouted out something crazy. A smiled appeared on her lips. At the end, Jaejoong gave up & placed the phone down on his desk. She turned her attention back to the monitor. He massaged his temples then glanced up.

“Are you not tired?”

She shook her head, her attention still in front of the monitor, “No.”

“I’m going to miss you.” He whispered, wanting her attention. She didn’t look up, “You look beautiful.” She then brought her head up. He smiled. Standing up, Jaejoong slowly walked over to her side. He leaned down & kissed the side of her neck, “Let’s go to bed.” Hesitating, she shut down the laptop & stood up. Just as she didn’t realize he was standing so close to her, Yuri turned around & he quickly but gently pushed her against the desk.

Her eyes widened. She looked at his playful but yet serious face, “I’m really going to miss you.” He whispered, with a husky voice to make her knees go weak, “& I just want to say that I love you. I will never get tired of saying it.” His eyes lighted with a smile of hope, “Kiss me this once, Yul, & I will be satisfied to leave? Just this once before I leave tomorrow morning?”

She still searched his face but the light from the laptop went off so sudden. No other lights came in. Her hand plastered on the desk tingled as he touched them with his own hands. She was nervous & she thought she was use to this already. What possesses the man to be so seductive all the time?

He leaned in to whisper against her ear, “Yul?” Then he looked back at her through the dark.

She closed her eyes, tiptoed & kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled, bringing his hand up to push her closer. She groaned ever so softly & brought her arms up to circle around his neck. The light kiss from her turned into a french kiss moderately. He knotted his fist into her combed hair, making the kiss become more fierce & passionate. Their breathing heaved. A little remorse laid over him as he pulled away from the kiss enough to whisper against her lips, “To the bed?”

She didn’t answer in him words but answered him in a candy-coated kiss he will never forget.