Chapter 6

Jaejoong stared at his cell phone in illusions. He flipped it eight times in exact. Rolling his eyes, he leaned back onto his chair. He closed his eyes & asked himself, “Should I or should I not?” He took in another big sigh for the thousandth time.

This thinking was getting on his nerve. Never in his whole life had he been this nervous about calling a girl...well, except for Yuri when they were dating but calling Jessica was another thing. He felt...let’s put it this way, stupid! He chuckled. Actually, he thought himself more than stupid! Here he is, thinking about another woman when his wife was being loyal to him. Heck. He’s about to cheat on her.

He cursed himself again, for the millionth time, ‘You shouldn’t be doing this.’ His mind said.

“Damn! I can’t help myself!” Jaejoong cursed in a yell. He ran his hands over his face until he felt his cheeks burning. He groaned & banged his forehead onto the desk, ‘Shouldn’t be doing this, Jaejoong.’ His mind repeated thoroughly.

“You don’t know what I’m going through.” Jaejoong said to his brain, “I’m in hell, in blazes, in lava. !” Without another hesitation, he lifted his head up from the desk & flipped his cell phone again, “Time to die.” He whispered, & started to dial his parents’ home phone.

“Hello.” Jessica answered, while flipping through the book she was reading.

Jaejoong was silent. Boy oh boy, does he feel like a player again, & damn Jessica’s soft voice, he felt like he was in heaven again, not hell! Playing with his fossil grant chronograph stainless steel watch, he told his mind to speak up for hell sake.

“Hello? Is anybody on the line?” Jessica asked. There was no answer. With a shrug, she hung up.

Jaejoong cursed for his stupidity & dialed the number again! This time, Jessica answered the phone on the first ring, “Hello?”

He opened his mouth & made a big o with it. A little ah came out.

Jessica frowned, “Who’s this?”

“Ah, Jaejoong. Yeah, it’s me, Jaejoong.” He said, with a big sigh of self-confident.

“Jaejoong Oppa? Hey.” Her voice suddenly sounded shaky. She held onto the book she was reading to let some of her tense out.

“Hi Jessica. What are you doing?”

“Nothing much. Just reading a book. You?” She asked, even though she knew all the time that he was at work, “I’m at work doing nothing important. It’s about lunchtime. If you don’t really have anything to do, want to go out for a little lunch?” Jaejoong asked, with his fingers cross.

Jessica smiled on the other line, “Sure. Why not?”

He uncrossed his fingers & lifted up his thumb, “Great. I will pick you up in about fifteen minutes. Is that good enough for you?”

“It’s good. See you later then.” Jessica hung up before he could say anything else. She blushed bright red & with a little yelp, Jessica ran upstairs to change.

Jaejoong hung up & smiled his half-smile. The smile was for his ‘Going to have lunch’ with Jessica & the not smiling was for his first cheat on his treasured wife, Yuri. He was doing this just because he likes Jessica but what of Yuri? Why was he cheating on her if she is his wife & he loves her? Love is stronger than like, right? Or can like grow more than his love for Yuri?

Jaejoong looked down at Yuri & swallowed. She was sleeping so peacefully & gracefully. He wouldn’t have to hurt her if it wasn’t for his feelings for Jessica. He didn’t want their relationship to be broken. He didn’t want anything to interfere in their life but with his thoughts, he was the one who was destroying his & her life.

He knelt down by her & kissed her cheeks. She flashed her eyes open slowly & smiled, “You are home late.”

He forcefully pressed a smile to his lips, “I know. I’m sorry. You must have waited long. You should have gone to bed instead of waiting up for me.”

“But I wanted to.” Yuri whispered.

He brushed her forehead, “Thank you then. Here, let me carry you up. You look too sleepy to get up on your own.”

“Are you sure? You look tired yourself.” She touched his cheeks & soothed them.

“I’m positive.” Jaejoong tucked a hand under her knees & the other by her mid-back. Yuri circled her arms around his neck & buried her face into his chest. He closed his eyes in desperation. Opening them back up, Jaejoong carried her to their bedroom. Not only was he going to hurt her but also, she was hurting him with her love.

Midway to their bedroom, Yuri looked up, “Are you hungry?”

“No, I’m not.” Jaejoong said, ‘Because.’ He thought, ‘I have had the whole day off just because of my meanness. I’m so sorry, Yul. I had finally cheated on you after I had promised that I wouldn’t. I’m a bad husband. I don’t deserve a sweet sugar like you. Forgive me?’

Yuri tipped her head, “What are you thinking about?”

Jaejoong looked down at her, “Nothing. Just you.”

She smiled sweetly. His heart & soul got pierced. She is so beautiful & lovely. He just wanted to tell her his trouble right now & that he was cheating big time on her but that will just ruin their relationship even more. He entered their bedroom & placed her on the bed delicately. Covering her with the blanket, Jaejoong kissed her on the lips.

“Goodnight sweetheart. I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you, too.” She said sleepily.

“But I love you more.”

She chuckled slowly & fell asleep. He stared at her, not feeling himself blink all the while. How could he blink when he could feel their relationship falling apart? How could he blink when before he opened his eyes back up, she will be gone? How could he blink when she was the one who was supposed to blink & make him go away? How could he blink when there was still her?

Jaejoong grabbed onto the mattress tightly while his muscle tenses up. He was killing himself & her. He knew what he was doing & he couldn’t stop it nor help it. It was like a disease. A disease that he could never get rid of & was struck to him for life.

He kissed her one more time on the cheek before getting up. He needed to go get his work done. Jaejoong walked back out into the living room & picked up his briefcase from near the sofa. He walked to one of the room which Yuri & him had made it into a library. It was small but well fitted. The room was painted gray with some spots of glitters that Yuri had required. On all the walls, there were tons of pictures hanging here & there of them kissing, hugging & loving each other.

A smile crept up Jaejoong’s lips. He loves the time that they had had together & will love it more if the future he had once imagine will come true. Time was killing him. He wanted the time to turn forward faster & know the future for sure but the only reason he didn’t want time to go by fast is because he wants to have the most precious time of his life with his wife. Whenever she was in his arms, he wanted the time to stop but no matter how much he prayed at that time, the clock will go on & on.

“& to pick.” He said, as he sat down on the chair in front of the desk, “But I don’t know who.” He took out a packet of paper & tried to concentrate but his mind kept switching back & forth to Yuri & then to Jessica. Yul, his beautiful & energetic wife who he loves more than his life. She doesn’t even know that he was cheating on her after his promise. Right, he was a liar but worst of all, he was a breaker of everything that lives in her life. How would she find out that he was cheating on her? It’s an easy answer, by his reactions, his lateness of coming home & his kisses. He may put all of his love into kissing her but it wouldn’t be the same as before. She can sense almost anything about him. He knew she knows him more than anybody else that had ever had. It was as if she were his eyes & Jessica, his secret lover. She was as sweet as a pie & it was as if he was addicted to that most delicious pie. He had enjoyed the afternoon & evening with her. His work was laid off just because he wanted to go out with Jessica. She was shy all the while. He had to start every conversation & kept it going or the silence will waver over them again. He did most of the talking but it wasn’t as if she would mind. Her answered to his questions were few but she managed to answer them all. She had even asked him some questions but soon, he could tell that her shyness would go away.

Hours passed by as he had finally found his head & was able to concentrate on his work. His eyes were growing heavy & his hair was a mess with each he sent with his fingers. It wasn’t like him to get all this frustrated on his work but as a cheating husband, he was.

“Jae Oppa?” Yuri’s voice rang lovingly in his ear.

Jaejoong groan but didn’t lift his head up. He opened one eye & then the other, “Yul? What time is it?” “About seven in the morning. You got one hour left before it’s time for you to go to work.” Yuri said cheerfully. He lifted his head slowly off from the desk & mumbled, “I slept here all night?”

Yuri laughed, “It seems like it because when I woke up, I didn’t see you anywhere on the bed. I got worried & checked up on you than found you sleeping tiredly in here.”

“I’m sorry. I got tons of work last night.” Jaejoong rubbed his eyes like a baby & looked up at Yuri. Her hair was up which gave her a mature look. She had on an apron with Mickey Mouse on it over her daily clothes, “You look tired Oppa.” She said worriedly, “Maybe you shouldn’t go to work today & stay home to rest.”

“No, I can’t. I have a big session today.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He yawned, “What did you cook for breakfast?”

Yuri whined at his stubbornness but decided to let it go. She was worry about him but he seemed like he careless about himself, “Bacon & egg puff pastry.”

“Sounds good. I will be right in after I take a long, hot shower.” Jaejoong said.

“Okay then. Hurry up or the food will get cold.”

“I will, sweetie.”

She kissed him on the cheek & walked out with a troubled expression. He didn’t even flirt with her this morning. Not that she expected him to every morning but even when he was tired like that, he would still have enough energy in him to flirt with her & today was their first kiss anniversary. Usually, the first thing he did was burst out his surprises to her or make the most startled love with her but none of those happened. She had told him just about a week ago & still, he forgot. That was the first time that he had ever forget such wonderful times.

Yuri walked back to the kitchen & started to laid out the food. After eight minutes, she sat down on the chair & waited for Jaejoong. Feeling bored, Yuri picked up the morning newspaper & flipped through the pages. After thirty minutes later, Jaejoong came out fully dressed with his black kenneth cole reaction mini stripe slim fit suit. He walked over to her & placed a kiss on her glossy light red lips.

“I feel good now.” He cleared his throat, “Good morning, Yul.”

Yuri finally smiled, “Good morning, Oppa. I’m glad you are acting like yourself today again.”

“I’m glad, too.” He looked at his citizen chronograph eco-drive two tone stainless steel bracelet watch & groaned, “I’m going to be late.” He made a puppy face, “Would you mind if I skip breakfast with you this morning?”

Yuri frowned, “I don’t mind, Oppa. I don’t want you to be late, too.”

“& would you mind if you have to pack up some of this breakfast for me? I don’t want to wait in line at work.”

“Of course, I don’t mind.” She got up & walked over to the counter.

Jaejoong looked at her back, “& would you mind if…”

“What do you want this time?” Yuri asked, annoyed at his silliness.

He slowly walked up to her & hugged her from behind. She jumped & laughed at herself, “You scared me, Oppa.”

He smiled a silly smile, “Do you mind if I kiss you here?” He pressed his lips to her cheek, “& here?” He pressed his lips to her half-bared shoulder, “& here, too?” He turned her to face him & kissed her fully on the lips.

‘He remembered.’ Yuri thought, ‘He remembered our first kiss anniversary.’ She pulled away & smiled glittery at him, “You remember.” She laughed.

He laughed with her & shook his head, “Remember what, sweetie?”

Her smile faded. She looked down, ‘He forgot. He really did forget. What is wrong with him today? Or is he just preparing the moment until tonight? That might be it.’ She thought. Yuri looked back up & smile, “Nothing, honey.”

“Okay then.” He pulled away from her, “I have to go now. Do you have my breakfast ready?”

Yuri nodded her head, “Here you go.” She said, pushing the plastic ware into his chest.

He took it from her. They walked out of the kitchen & into the living room, “Thanks, Yul. Bye.” He kissed her cheeks. She fixed his aqua geoffrey beene pierre plaid tie neatly & looked up at him, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“But I love you more.” He said, one more time before kissing her forehead, “Bye, honey. See you later this evening.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Jaejoong nodded & opened the door. Yuri waved to him until he disappeared into the elevator. She closed the door & lean against it. He didn’t act like he was holding down a surprises for her at all. He had turned to his usual behavior. Nothing was functioning in that smart brain of his. It was as if he was clueless about today. She sighed & walked back into the kitchen. Her breakfast still laid where it was but Jaejoong’s was gone. Now, she feels lonely. How she wished summer will end right now & then she can begin her new job. It will be a new experience to her but it wouldn’t hurt her less. She was ready for anything, especially the thought that Jaejoong might be opening his surprises to her tonight.