Chapter 48

“Yuri.” Said Jaejoong harshly, as he soothed Taehyun’s hair, “He’s just a little boy.”

She glanced at him, the harshness in her eyes gone. A comfortless feeling ran over the house. The people watching them whined inwardly. Yuri looked at her son, hugging onto his daddy while her heart ached to hug Taehyun herself. The sobbing of his cries crushed her soul. She bit her lips together, trying to let out her anger. She didn’t intend to ignore her son in the first place but seeing him having so much fun with his daddy while getting out of the car, just hurtled her. She thought he will miss her but he showed so less care expect laughing gleefully into the house & cheering about his daddy. She so much wanted to take him into her arms. Hug him. Kiss his chubby cheeks. Whisper how much she loves him & misses him but it was her ex-husband’s entire fault that she didn’t do any of those. He was having so much fun with her son while she cried her soul out but tried to be strong at the same moment.

Mrs. Kwon cleared . Just sleeping upstairs, she had heard every word of shout from her daughter but she minded her business, trying to let Yuri & her ex-husband work everything out. The only bad news was that they weren’t working things out; they were causing another argument again. Her daughter can be too much of a contumacious woman too many times.

“I think the best thing to solve this is either negotiating or leave this matter alone. Hyunnie has nothing to be in this argument. It’s you two that can never keep things equal.” She said, as a matter-of-factly directly to both adults, “You two are parents, not some high school students who’s in deep trouble of one kid.”

Yuri glanced at her mother then at Taehyun again. Her words were true but she doubted negotiating or dropping the matter would solve anything. They had tried both at the time of never knowing it but nothing nice had ever come out of it. She took some steps towards Taehyun who was in his daddy’s arms crying. Jaejoong took a look at her; the look of glaring from his eyes hadn’t change a bit. Yuri touched her son’s arms. He whined & hugged onto Jaejoong tighter. She grimaced.

“Come here, Hyunnie.” She said in a downcast voice.

He glanced up gradually with a little sniffed. She tilted her head & reached out for him. He whimpered again, & buried his head into Jaejoong’s chest. Her eyes misted but turned hard somehow, “Hyunnie, I said come here.” At the sound of her raising voice, his cries increased into a scream.

Jaejoong shot her another of his glares, “I think that’s enough, Yuri. He will stay with me for another day until you calm down.”

She opened in disbelief, “You are not taking my son anywhere.”

“Damn I am!” Jaejoong said in a hiss, through Taehyun’s cries. He wasn’t about to leave his son with Yuri when she was having this kind of attitude. She had definitely gone overboard. His grip tightened on Taehyun. Giving one last look at her, he started his way towards the door.

“Jaejoong!” His mother’s warning voice rang in his ear. He brushed her off & exited the living room.

Yuri’s eyes widened in responses. She ran after him & tried to grab his black kenneth cole quilted faux leather moto jacket sleeve but he was too fast. He exited the house & made his way towards the car. She followed him & finally caught his arms as he opened the car door to put Taehyun into his car seat.

“He’s not going anywhere with you!” She exclaimed.

Jaejoong ignored her like she had ignored Taehyun. He brushed her hold off & gently put their little, sleepy boy into the car.

“No!” She shouted, & grabbed his arm again. He blocked her as she tried to push him out of the way to get to Taehyun. Pushing her back lightly, he closed the door. She cried out in a scream.

“Damn it, Yuri!” He hissed out his words, “You didn’t want him at first & now you want him?! I don’t understand you at all!”

“No. Damn you, Kim Jaejoong! I want my son. I want my son.”

“Listen. Listen to me, Yuri.” He tried to say, as he held her by the shoulders. This time, she tried to brush his hold away, “Yuri! Listen to me! God damn it! Listen!”

She glanced up at his harsh voice abruptly. He closed his eyes & then opened them as he tried to think. He locked his eyes with her, held her by the shoulders & said, “Yuri, Hyunnie wanted to go to the zoo. I meant to tell you this before starting what I did. I came back with Hyunnie instead of having supper with my parents because he wanted to go to the zoo with you & me. Please do this for him? Please?” He pleaded.

She shook her head before thinking, “No. I want my son out of that car.”

He shook his head, “Yuri, please? Just this once? Just for our son? I don’t see why you should refuses. You will do anything for him, why not go to the zoo with us? Please?”

Yuri’s brows narrowed. She looked down at her son in the car sleeping with dried tears on his face. She cried inwardly.

“My son is asleep.” She said steadily, wanting to yell at him for being so careless now.

Jaejoong followed her gaze & nodded, “I know, but in his sleep, he’s dreaming about the zoo. Will you go with us?”

She looked up at his admirable face & saw the deep pleading in his eyes. She took a swallow & nodded, “Fine.”

He let out a relieve sigh, “Thank you.”

“I’m not going because of your pleadings.” She said atomically, trying to hold her anger down.

Yuri turned away & went around the car. Jaejoong watched as she opened the back door & got in with the door closing. He sighed. Getting into the driver’s seat, he drove out of the neighborhood. Yuri shifted over & buckled Taehyun up in his seat. He groaned in responses. She muttered some sweet words & kissed him on the forehead.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He heard her whispered, “Forgive mommy please?”

Jaejoong blinked gradually, thankful that Yuri agreed to come with them. He knew she wouldn’t let him take their son again, after what he had did; that was the only way that he could get her to agree with him into going to the zoo. Maybe Taehyun wasn’t the only reason why he wanted to visit the zoo but the discussion about changing Taehyun’s last name needed to be in a place of unencumbered where none of their family were to be found eavesdropping. He needed to clear the settlement up with her. He needed to explain his reasons. He needed her to understand.

The car’s interior quieted down as Yuri settled down beside Taehyun & rested her head down on the arm of the car seat. She mollified her fingers along his wee fingers with her eyes still open. Every now & then, she would mutter a lullaby & then closed her eyes tightly together. Jaejoong’s hold on the steering wheel became tighter as his inner heart pierces at the traumatized scene. The ride was going to be long, a very extended one.

Jaejoong made a left turn & entered the interstate. He blinked sluggishly as a white limousine penetrated in front of his car. He read the two spectacular but smooth words of every couple’s life painted on the back shield. ‘Just Married’.

Looking at the rear view mirror, he saw Yuri looking straight at the limousine. A rather mirthless grimace came onto his face. She averted & met his eyes looking back at her in the mirror. As he blinked, she turned away to Taehyun. He cleared his throat lightly & concentrated on the road ahead of him but as he read the words of the limousine again, the remembrance of his wedding popped into his head.

Since his mother had planned out everything & the wedding dress had arrived, there was only the wedding rehearsal & the day of the wedding waiting to be taken but there was only one problem, Yuri. Taehyun involved her. The schedule involved her. Their futures involved her.

Jaejoong looked up again, at the rear view mirror. Yuri had her eyes closed confidently for once. He looked back & forth from the mirror & the road ahead of him. He studied his ex-wife. A remembrance of their wedding day came popping into his head. He smiled thinly. He knew why he married her for an exquisite year but he didn’t know if he regretted divorcing her so vigorously. He was sorry but no regret was inside his adamantine heart. He took one last look at Yuri & then turned his full attention to the road in front of him.

‘Have you thought of remarrying Yuri?’

His dad’s question popped into his head.

‘If you are marrying Jessica then leave Hyunnie alone with Yuri. She won’t have anything left if you win. Jessica can give us the grandchildren we had been wanting for years now. Listen Jaejoong, take Hyunnie & not marry Jessica or marry Jessica & don’t take Hyunnie away from Yuri. She’s had enough.’ The words of his dad ringed in his head again.

He hesitated. His hands began to sweat horrendously on the steering wheel. Remarry Yuri? He had had a hard time convincing her to come to the zoo with Taehyun & him, how much harder could it be if he asked her to remarried him? His wedding with Jessica was in less than a month’s time & that decision was the one he wanted. He marries only for love but for the sake of their son, would he remarried Yuri?

“We are here.” He broke the intense silence as he parked the car in the already full parking lot.

Yuri fluttered her eyes open gradually. She stretched from position & looked around the exterior of the zoo after the one & a half-hour drive. She turned, startled, even as Jaejoong closed his door lightly. Looking down at Taehyun, Yuri touched his forehead as he opened his eyes. She lit up a small smile.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

He blinked, forgetting for a while where he was. He blinked again, stretched out his left hand & said sleepily, “Mommy don’t love Hyunnie?”

She shook her head & took his stretched out hand into hers, “Of course, I love you & only you. You are my little baby who I can always forgive.”

“But mommy yell Hyunnie.”

She tilted her head at his innocence, “I wasn’t in a good mood.” She pouted & looked up at the car’s ceiling.

“I was what you would call an unhappy, fishy mommy.”

He giggled. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips, “So, does that laugh means you forgive mommy?”

He nodded & made an attempt to get out of the jail. Yuri lightly twitched his wee nose with the smile she missed from herself. Unbuckling him, she took him into her arms & hugged him tightly. One kiss from her son on her cheek, the door magically opened. Taehyun turned around & saw his daddy appearing at the door.

He waved with his hands closing back & forth, “Hello, daddy.”

Jaejoong waved back, “Ready to go see the lions?”

Taehyun’s eyes widened, “We at zoo?”

He nodded, “Yes, we are. Daddy, mommy & you.” He giggled gleefully & clapped his hands. Jaejoong smiled & glanced over to Yuri. She smiled thinly at him, nearly no smile at all. He reached his hands out to get Taehyun so she can get out without any trouble but she pulled Taehyun closer to her chest. He grimace at her reaction & moved back from the door. A few seconds later, she nudged her leg out. Jaejoong glanced at her black pink nike shoe. He then looked away as she progressively got out with Taehyun in her arms. He listened as she sighed, rather happily.

Looking down at his black aldo baron fashion sneaker, Jaejoong shrugged & walked ahead to pay for the tickets. With two-adult & one-child tickets in his hands, he turned back around to search for them. His eyes landed quickly on Taehyun with his hands in Yuri’s, walking towards him. She took her ticket from his hands without even a glance at him or a thank you.

“Hyunnie ticket.” The little guy said cheerfully, while trying to get his daddy’s attention. Jaejoong looked down & handed the one-child ticket to Taehyun. He turned around & walked through the open gate after handing the ticket lady his ticket with a graceful smile. He waited for them again, patiently with his hands in his pockets.

Jaejoong knew Yuri was smiling only for the happiness of Taehyun. That was the problem. He couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful smile as she walked pass him with Taehyun still holding onto her hands. With a sigh, he followed them from behind. Every single scream that came from Taehyun because of the beautiful animals, he grinned. The little guy knows everything about beauty, even the beauty of his mommy.

As Taehyun dropped Yuri’s hands & ran towards the monkeys, Jaejoong glanced up from his daydream. She was alone & it was the perfect time for him to talk to her. Walking slowly up to her, he cleared his throat to get her attention & called her name. She turned around & look at him unevenly. As he walked to her side, he began to hesitate.

“Yuri, about the change of Hyunnie’s last name. I…”

“I told you before his last name will stay as mine. I don’t want to talk about this again. It’s useless for you, Oppa.” She said, & continued to walk ahead while following Taehyun’s every move.

“I want his last name to be the same as his father.” Jaejoong said, as he caught up with her.

“As I know.” She uttered, turning to him, “I had been his mother & at the same time, his father, too.”

“Don’t be ruthless, Yuri.” He said.

She tilted her head at his words, surprised “I’m not the only one who’s being ruthless. You are too, Oppa. You are the ruthless man here & all about. I’m the ruthless woman who’s trying to protect my son from further danger of the man in front of me.”

He again, grimace at her words, “I’m just asking for a change of his last name.”

“One last answer, Oppa, no.”

“What are you afraid of?” He suddenly asked.

Yuri took a look at Taehyun then glanced down at the ground. She was afraid of nothing that was dealt with the solution now. She just didn’t want him to change her son’s last name, the name that was lovingly given to him. His name would always stay his name. The name Kim had once covered her body for one year & she regretted terribly. She didn’t want her son to cover the name for the rest of his life. Moreover, she didn’t want her son to camouflage that name with the woman that will become a Kim soon; the woman that had destroy the Kim name for her.

“That question is personal.” She finally answered.

He nodded, not pushing her onto the why question, “I see, but Yuri, I’m his father & I want him to share my name, too.” He turned to look at her from the side while her eyes were still on Taehyun only, “Can’t he share both last names than?”

Yuri utterly shook her head, “I only want my last name on his.” She took a glimpse at him. With her chin lifted, she walked over to Taehyun where the lions were. He clapped his hands again, & again, as the lions did a little dance up into the air. Reaching him, Yuri pulled on a smile & picked him up. She nodded as he said something. Jaejoong bit his bottom lips, walked past the people having merriment & bought three cotton candies from a stand.

Taking a bite from his, Jaejoong walked back over to them. He tapped Taehyun lightly on the shoulder. The boy turned around, eyes widened in glee & quickly grabbed for the sweet. Before he could take a bite out of it, Yuri reached down & took the cotton candy by the stick. Taehyun looked up.

“Too many sweets for you.” Yuri chided, with a shake of her head. She threw a glance at Jaejoong. Unfortunately, he smiled like a silly boy. She turned back to Taehyun’s whining.

“No, mommy! Hyunnie want cotton!” He whined, jumping for the puffy sweet.

She pinched all of the sweets off little by little & came to an apple size cotton candy. Satisfied, she handed it back to Taehyun, “There you go. Don’t get too much on your clothes.”

Taehyun took it with a jump; not caring how many he only has left. Turning around, Yuri threw the melting sweet in her hands into the trash. As she turned back around, Jaejoong handed her a full cotton candy. She glanced at him & then back to the sweet. Finally, she shook her head with a no thanks.

“It’s sweet.” He advertised, without any help.

She shook her head again, “I’m not hungry.”

“It’s not for hungriness. It’s for an appetite.” Jaejoong explained, as if in a food advertisement. He knew exactly why she wasn’t excepting the cotton candy. The only reason was that he bought it with his own money. He knows how dearly she loves sweets, even at times when she was fully loaded with food.

Yuri sighed but accepted it with a thank you. She waited until he turned around then took a bite out of the pink candy & smiled as it melted inside . A humble & lovely sound came out afterwards. She hadn’t tasted such wonderful candy since months & now, she was falling in love with the sweets.

Fully back to reality after the first bite, she took Taehyun’s left hand as she noticed that Jaejoong was holding her son’s right hand. The last touring of the aquarium happened more quickly then she had noticed. Her son that she was so proud of was the bravest of them all as the shark appeared from nowhere. She couldn’t help when a smile broke her solid lips as Jaejoong couched down like the rest of the kids when the shark opened his mouth, showing his sharp teeth.

The same smile appeared on her face again, as they walked back to the car. Taehyun, for the first time, didn’t mind leaving the zoo when its closing time came. He sat in his jail with his legs trying to touch the car ceiling, “Hyunnie, please stay still.” Said Yuri.

With his eyes still on the road, Jaejoong shook his head & asked, “Do you mind for another activity of dinner?” “Actually, I have something to do at home so it will just be better if you drop Hyunnie & me off before you head for a restaurant.” Yuri lied, but she had left her sister & mom without any words of assurance. She didn’t want them to worry about her.

“Alright.” He said, looking at her in the rear view mirror. She didn’t know but he saw her devoured the cotton candy like heaven. That was a scene he wasn’t expecting from her but yet, it was a scene he hadn’t seen for years.

He exited off the interstate after a silent hour in the car. Kwon Taehyun. No, he wouldn’t change the name after all. He just needed an approval from her but it turned out to be the no he was used to now. Parking the car in the driveway, he turned around to look at Yuri.

“I will carry Hyunnie inside.” He whispered, but received the same treatment from her.

“No, I can do it.” Yuri got out from the side of her car & walked over to Taehyun’s side. She unbuckled him out of his jail gradually & carefully took him out so he wouldn’t wake up. With him in her arms, she shut the door lightly & turned around to meet him surprisingly.

“Are you sure you can carry him in?” He asked worriedly.

She nodded with a frown. All of her life with Taehyun, she had carried him around everywhere. From the distance of his car to the house wasn’t at all difficult for her.

“I will be okay.” She said. Or was he just worry about Taehyun? “You don’t have to come in. I will make it to the house safely with Hyunnie. No worries given.” She said, as he was about to make his way ahead of her. Unsure, he nodded, “Goodnight.”

She smiled thinly without any emotion, “Goodnight.” With one last look at him, she looked away & walked pass him. He looked down at the ground & kicked a pebble. Running his hand through his hair, he turned around as Yuri entered the house. With a sigh, he got back into his car & started the engine.

He was feeling something weird but yet, couldn’t catch that feeling quite right. Pulling out of the driveway, he made his way through the dark night alone, too alone.