“You know there is a thing about Rashi.” Key says worriedly, looking up from my book I tilt my head at him. “She means everything she says, what she tells you, is how she really feels about something, so don’t go hurting her hyung.” He says frowning at me.

“Alright, I won’t.” I say easily.

~~~

I wish I’d paid more attention to Kibum when he told me that. I wish I’d paid attention to what Rashi had said before everything happened. I wish I’d given her more, I wish I hadn’t screwed everything up.

Sighing heavily I look over at Kibum; he’s glaring at me, giving me a what-did-I-tell-you-look. Rubbing my face I get up from my seat and head out into the hall, pulling my phone out I try calling her again, I leave another message, and then I try calling her one last time.

“Would you stop calling and leaving me messages? I already told you, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore Jinki.” This is the first time she’s spoken to me in weeks, this is the first time I’ve heard her voice, heard how angry she is. “Look, I get that you’re upset or whatever, but get over it.” Rashi says angrily.

Before I can even say anything she’s hung up and I’m left staring at my phone. Biting my lip I let out a long breath, shoving the thing in my pocket I glance back at the room where the guys and I are waiting, where we’re supposed to be practicing.

I want to forget that we have practice; that we have our comeback quickly approaching; I even want to forget that I am SHINee’s leader. All I want to do is run out of this place and find out where Rashi is, apologize to her, grovel for her to forgive me, to just fix everything that happened between us. Instead Kibum is dragging me back into the practice room and setting me down on my chair.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, just give her a little bit of space.” He says seriously. “Let her cool off, she’s had you dogging her for three weeks now, and besides I told you.” He says frowning at me, Kibum is disappointed with me, hell I’m disappointed with myself. “With people that mean everything that they say, they expect everyone else to mean it too.”

Hitting my head on the wall behind my I let out a groan, I know, I know she meant every word she’s ever said to me, and I hate that I didn’t mean every word that I’ve ever said to her. I hate it, I hate myself for it. Rashi believed in me, and I let her down. my lips I get up on my feet, nodding my head I move to take my spot, the others are staring at me, they all know how bad I feel, but I know what Rashi is feeling.

~~~

I glare at my phone, he’s calling again, and he’ll probably leave another message. “Would you stop calling and leaving me messages? I already told you, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore Jinki.” I snap into my cell, hanging up I let out a deep breath and send Kibum a text.

It feels unreal; it feels strange, and nothing seems right. Between my painting, hanging out with Kibum, and trying to move on, it all just seems different.

He missed another exhibit, he canceled on me on our anniversary, he forgot my birthday and the plans we made, he stood me up, and worst of all it feels like our whole relationship has been forgotten by him. Standing up and wiping my tears away I leave the gallery where I was fortunate enough to get four of my pieces into, where three of them were bought, the last one I wouldn’t sell, it’s for Jinki.

Walking with the canvas wrapped up in paper, and in my evening gown, my hair done up, my necklace hitting against my chest and my earrings dangling, I get a cab and head to SHINee’s dorm. I’ve had it, he better be sick, dying, injured or dead.

As I enter the building I take the elevator up, ignoring the strange looks I’m getting from a couple of other people in the lift. Stepping off on the fourth floor and heading down the hall with a murderous look in my eyes I bang on the door.

Minho answers and looks at me shocked. “Rashi, you look very pretty.” He says allowing me to enter. “Hyung is in the kitchen.” He says as I slip my heels off neatly.

“Thanks.” I mutter giving him a smile, though I doubt it looked sincere; after all I am beyond angry.

As I stop in the kitchen I see Jinki eating a piece of chicken while Taemin, Jonghyun and Kibum all talk about something. Setting the canvas down, I tear the paper off and get their attention as Minho takes his seat.

My boyfriend looks up at me and the color drains from his face, as he’s about to spew out yet another excuse I hold my hand up.

“I sold three pieces, and this last one, dozens of people wanted to buy, but I saved it because it’s your favorite piece. “ I say holding it up to him and setting it against the wall near me. “I had another exhibit that you promised to come to, you didn’t even call.” I tell him angrily. “And you know what; I’m not surprised at all. You don’t take our relationship seriously at all. You don’t take my feelings for you seriously, so you know what, I’ll save you the trouble of ever having to remember anything about me or what I’m doing. I’m done Jinki.” I tell him leaving the painting for him. “You can have it.” I say gesturing it. I walk out of the room and get to the entry hall before he’s running after me, slipping my shoes on, I look up at him. “I don’t want to hear anything from you, and I don’t want to see you.” I tell him holding my hand up again.

I walk out of their dorm and into the hall, get on the lift and exit the building all the while ignoring the very painful feeling in my chest.

That was at my last exhibition, I have another one this week and I only have two of the five paintings ready. None of it seems right, nothing I paint I like. Covered in paint I stare at my blank canvas, the stupid thing just waiting for me to start. I just don’t feel anything toward my work now; every I want to take is stuck, like I’m blocked. The thing is though I know what I want to paint, I have those feelings, but the thing is I just don’t want to see them.

Taking a deep breath I dip the paint into the green-ish color and look back up, one brush at a time, just paint what I feel. And so I paint. I work; I ignore my phone and the time.

Wiping my forehead I look over at the clock hanging on my wall, three in the morning. Looking back at my painting I let out a deep breath. There it is, my third painting. I need two more, and I have roughly two and half days to get them done.

“I figured, you’re still stuck?” Kibum asks entering my studio, food in a bag. Setting it on the table on the far end of the room he unpacks everything and pats for me to take a seat next to him. “Come on, you look starved.” He says happily.

Setting my brushes down and putting my paint up, I wipe my hands off on my clothes. “Thanks, you’re a fantastic friend.” I say grabbing the chicken he’s set out. “I have two more paintings to do, and I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do.”

Kibum looks around the studio. “You mean of the dozens of pieces you’ve completed, you have nothing?” He asks, raising a brow. “And the one you just completed is gorgeous and everything, but it’s sad.”

Pouting I look around. “I suppose I could use one of them.” I mutter looking away from my friend. “That’s how I feel right now, that’s how I’ve felt.” I say looking back at him.

For a moment I stare at him closely and lean over the table. “What are you doing?” Kibum asks leaning back. "You’re being weird even for you.” He says as I grab his chin and turn his head slightly.

“I want to paint just your eyes.” I say taking another bite of my chicken and running off to grab a canvas, getting one I move to another easel and set it down, I wave for Kibum to move over here. “Come on, this is the first thing I’ve wanted to paint in a while.” I say begging him. “You can even crash here.” I say bringing my hands to my face.

“The things I do for my friends.” He says getting up to sit on the stool next to me. “This better turn out great!” Kibum demands in his diva voice.

Smirking I nod my head, getting my pencil out I start sketching on the canvas, enlarging a strip of his face. Quietly looking between Kibum and the image I’m trying to recreate, Kibum stares at me indifferently, I smile as I finally start mixing paints to get the right colors, and to match them with Almighty Key’s.

After a while I wave him off to go to sleep, I got his eyes and now I’m just getting the rest of it colored in, I moved to next to my med where Kibum is sleeping.

~~~

Walking around the gallery I smile at the other people gathered here, this is a pretty famous gallery with tons of credited artists and collectors here looking. In the end I picked one of the pieces I painted while I was dating Jinki.

“I remember when you were working on this one.” I hear, turning I narrow my eyes at the man wearing a suit and looking closely at the picture. “You were frantic on trying to get the lighting just right.”

“You can recall that far back?” I snipe glaring at him as I sip the champagne in my glass. “I’m impressed.” I say dryly as I turn away from him.

“Rashi, I’m sorry.” He says loud enough to get me to turn around and glare at him. “I want you to know that, and it’s selfish I know, but for what it’s worth, you still mean everything to me.” Jinki holds his glass up to me before drinking some of it. “I like this one a lot.” He says pointing to another one of the paintings I did.

For the rest of the night Jinki and I walk around in a mutual silence, I talk to those who talk to me, I accept offers on some of the paintings, I keep the one from while I was still dating Jinki. For me it’s hard to let go of, even with people offering a lot of money.

“You’re not selling this one?” He asks while holding it for me as we walk up to my studio. “You got a lot of offers.”

“Sentimental value is higher.” I mumble unlocking the door and letting him in first. “The ones I painted while we were still dating mean a lot to me, they all represent a time from when I was happy and felt like nothing could go wrong.” I say quietly. “Then things started going wrong, it was like you just stopped trying.”

“I know” He whispers setting it down in its place, I’m impressed he knows, but chose not to say anything as he takes a seat on a stool. “It’s still the same in here.” He says smiling.

I smile back. “I wouldn’t just change something.” I say taking a seat next to him hesitantly.

Jinki takes my hand and smiles. “I remember where and how you keep all your art in here, the ones you like, the ones you don’t and even the ones you’ve sold.” Jinki says fondly. “I remember you letting me paint anything on the wall space above your bed.”

“It’s still there.” I say smiling. “It’s funny, I want to say I can keep you out, but I just can’t seem to get over what we had.” I say sadly. “This is nice though, like it was.”

“Then let’s keep things like this.” Jinki says getting up and kissing me lightly and gently. “I won’t forget anymore, I won’t say things I don’t mean. I’ll love you properly.” He mutters kissing my forehead.

I smile at him and nod my head, leaning my head on his chest I let out a relieved sigh. “This doesn’t mean I won’t forget.” I mutter stubbornly. “You’ll have to earn all that trust back.”

“I plan on it.” He says taking my hand. “Come on, you’re exhausted, we should get you in bed.” And I follow him like I used to, I take the same steps we’ve taken many times to my bedroom on the other end of my loft, and I lay down in his arms just like I used to, and I listen to all the words he mumbles as I relax in his arms.

I wanted to try and incorporate something I haven't before,
(at least I don't remember if I have XD)
So I wanted the lead to be a artist, though
I'm by no means artistic like that, so it's all really vauge.

This is for chekkuame, I am very sorry for the long wait.
I hope you enjoy this one-shot ^^

I have one last set now ; u ;

[5 left]
[5 planned]
[0 available]

Onew | Jonghyun | Key | Minho  | Taemin