Confession 1: I don’t really care about you not being here.

Confession 2: The first confession was a lie.

Groaning I stare at the picture of Jonghyun and I, us posing cutely for the camera, we took it almost a year ago, but he flipped out somewhere along the lines when he felt we were getting to serious, I don’t know how but I wish I’d know how he just turned his feelings off, but then I begin to question if they were even ever there. I mean how do you just stop caring for someone?

Confession 3: I want to stop hurting, I don’t like the pain.

Confession 4: I want to forget, I want to go back before I met you.

Lying in bed I stare up at the ceiling, the blank space on the wall, anywhere but at the picture sitting on my desk. Maybe it’d have been better if I never met him; maybe I’d be happy right now. God I hate doing nothing with my day, but I mean I don’t really feel like just prancing out into the world feeling on top of the world when really I feel like I’m going through hell, he just dumped me, saying me and him were getting to be too serious, too much too soon. “Well then why the hell did you wait so long to tell me?!” I scream turning over. “What good could possibly come from all this face?!”

Confession 5: I recently took up to calling you face, it helps a little.

Confession 6: I’m ready to move on weather I want to or not.

“I’m done with this!” I shout jumping out of bed, running around the apartment. Jumping into the shower I wash off the pity, sadness and quickly get dressed in something cute, I need to get out of this stupid rut, he’s obviously over me, so I need to move on too. I need to get out of this bottomless pit of self-pity.

Heading out feeling much better about this all seeing the daylight, and the cool air blowing. “This is good.”

“What is?” I hear his stupid voice. “Hei Ryung?”

Spinning around I see him standing behind me, looking a little like a wreck, what I looked like only a few hours ago. “Going out, you know enjoying life.”

Confession 7: When I saw you standing there I wanted to run away.

Confession 8: I should have, maybe it’d have helped the tension.

“Do this often? I mean since I did what I did?” Jonghyun asks me nervously, staring down at his feet.

Shaking my head I let out a sigh. “No, I’m just going out now.” I mumble pathetically, “I need to you know, to move on like you did.”

“What if I told you I didn’t?” He asks looking up at me, taking a few steps closer. “I mean move on.”

“I’d say I’m right what I called you this morning then.” I mumble looking away as he stops right in front of me.

“What did you call me?”

“ face.” I mutter looking him in the eye. “What’s with the look of surprise?”

He chuckles. “You never used to swear.”

“I used to have a boyfriend, but things change, you know life moves on.” I say bitterly, I begin to study the tree just behind him, the bark falling off a little, the leaves rustling in the light breeze, the green look of a healthy tree.

“I was being stupid.”

Confession 9: I agree you are stupid.

Confession 10: I dreamed of you saying this to me.

“I agree.” I tell him cheekily. “Jonghyun what are you doing here?”

He smirks at me. “You’re very sassy now,” He takes my hand; placing it on his chest he looks me in the eye, “My heart.”

“Malfunctioning?”

Laughing he nods his head. “Yeah, I was scared but Hei Ryung, I make mistakes, I want to try again, I want to be your boyfriend, I want to see how much sass you were holding out on me, I want the sweet girl that doesn’t swear, the girl I hurt…I want to make it up to you.”

“Why should I believe you? I mean you said you didn’t want to make a commitment.”

Sighing he drops my hand and lays his on my cheek. “I do though, if it’s with you, I want to work things out with you, I want to try and be the man that you cared about.”

“Wrong tense.” I whisper looking away.

“What?”

“You used the wrong tense, care nor cared.” I mumble to him. “Stupid boys.”

He chuckles. “Sassy girls.”

Stepping back I look over at him. “Aren’t you coming?”

He smiles nodding his head he runs after me while I try and forget the heart ache I’d felt, I try to ignore the butterflies in my stomach threatening to make me explode of happiness, but mostly I’m trying to remember how this will feel to me years from now.

the ice cream off my lips I look over at Jonghyun watching me happily. “I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” He says laughing.

I nod my head vigorously. “Are you?”

“Very much Jagiya, I actually would like to confess something to you.”

“Deh?” I ask him twirling around in the sun. “Something important?”

“Very.”

“Serious?”

“Dead.”

“I suppose you should tell me then.” I say stopping, Jonghyun walks up to me calmly, but as he gets closer I can see how nervous he is in his eyes, how jumpy he is and mostly how he keeps looking around.

“I want to tell you the real reason I got so freaked out when I broke up with you.” He says taking my hands.

“Oh?” I ask him curiously. “Do enlighten.”

“I love you.” He blurts out blushing.

Stunned I stare at him. “W-w-what?”

“I. Love. You.” He repeats breathing out. “Too soon?”

“Too frontal.” I tell him laughing. Hugging him I kiss his cheek. “But sweet all the same.” Walking away from him I smile at him teasingly.

“Anything you’d like to confess?” He asks lightly, his hinting needing some work.

I shake my head. “I think I need to tell you that I love you too.” I shout running away from him, but before I ran and saw him sprinting to catch me, a smile on his face.

My last Confession: I really do love you.

This didn't quite turn out how I expected, but I welcomed the way it came to me all the same. I hope you guys enjoy!

I love this picture of Jonghyun, it's my favorite I think... ◕◡◕

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