You know that feeling you get the moment you realize you shouldn’t have said or done something, well here I am having that very dilemma. Feeling that choking in your throat, that punch in your gut, and your entire soul being smashed into pieces, yeah, story of my day.

Getting picked up from the airport after being abroad for nearly two years by the girl of my dreams now with one of my good friend isn’t exactly the welcoming I was hoping for, especially with that ring on her finger.

“Hey man, we really got to thank you for introducing us Onew.” Siwon says to my smiling holding Yoora’s hand, her smiling happily at me as well as we walk to their car. She as always looks beautiful, despite the fact that she’s now apparently engaged to Siwon, my hyung, my good friend. I introduced Yoora to a bunch of my friends in hopes of us having similar social circles we’d get together.

“Hey, no big deal,” I lie smiling at them, hoping that if I smile enough the pain in my chest will go away. “So how long have you guys been together now?” I ask them, I shouldn’t have asked, I don’t want to know. It’ll only hurt.

Yoora allows me to sit in the front, “Well we started dating a little after you introduced me to everyone.” She says beaming at me, “You’re the first person we thought to tell!” She says smiling that smile again. The one I fell for the moment I saw her all those years ago when she moved in next door to me.

“That’s fantastic!” I say faking enthusiasm “Has anything else changed?” I ask them getting into the car.

Siwon smiles at me patting my back as I buckle up, I feel this hatred towards him, one I never want to feel, but do. Jealousy right? I listen to Siwon and Yoora catch me up on all our friends, them excited to see me, and how they’re excited to tell everyone that they’re engaged. Perfect, just perfect.

I suppose this is what Jonghyun had been trying to tell me about them getting close, them bonding, I’d been naïve enough to believe that they’d just become friends and not a couple, I prayed it was nothing more than friendship. “So what was America like Onew?” Yoora’s sweet voice rings through to me.

Shrugging my shoulders I look over at her, not worth it, I should have stayed and asked you out… “It was fun; I met a lot of people. California was really nice, I liked New York too.” I tell her as I get into my travels.

Getting out I stare at Yoora’s now long hair curling in soft ringlets from her pony tail reaching her shoulders, her beauty enhanced by the jeans and wash tag shirt she wears, the simplicity striking to her unmatched looks. “Everyone wants to have dinner, Jonghyun and Key suggested it.” Yoora says getting out taking the front seat. “Onew, she says taking my arm while Siwon talks on the phone.

“Yeah?” I ask, my heart skipping from the simple gesture, the friendly gesture. “Everything ok?” I ask her chuckling.

She smiles at me; hugging me she kisses my cheek. “I’m glad you’re back safe and sound” She says pulling away. “We’ll see you tonight right?” She asks eagerly. “I’ve missed my best friend.” She says with all the love in the world, but sadly it pains me.

“Of course.” I tell her promising as she gets in; waving to me she sends me a smile, one I wish she’d only smile at me.

At the dinner I stand aside talking with Jonghyun. “They just got serious.” Jonghyun says sighing, “It was like they went on a few dates and it didn’t really mean much but after you left it was like Yoora and Siwon really fell for each other.” He explains to me quietly. “I’m sorry man.” He says patting my shoulder.

Shaking my head I smile at him. “Its fine, it wasn’t like I ever really had a chance with Yoora right?” I ask him watching her mingle with Tiffany and Yoona. Looking away from her I smile as Key, Minho and Taemin walk over to me, each giving me a bear hug.

“We missed you.” Minho says smiling at me, then a sympathetic smile soon after. “She missed you a lot.”

“Not likely.” I say bitterly while looking around at the party, everyone having a good time.

Taemin shakes his head. “Noona was hurt when you left suddenly.”

Key smiles at me taking me away from the group of friends. “I take it Jonghyun didn’t tell you.” He says turning to see Jonghyun walking over.

“Yah, I was getting to it.” He mutters. “But he…Onew she liked you a lot before you left. She was ecstatic when you introduced her to everyone, but then you started getting busy and Siwon swooped in and she started to lean on him.” Jonghyun says sadly. “When you went to America Yoora gave up on you. She didn’t know when you were coming back and she got tired of waiting.”

Breathing shakily I turn my gaze to Yoora laughing, her enjoying herself without Siwon by her side, him talking with some of the other guys, both of them looking at each other every so often, and if they catch each other’s gaze they smile like they have a secret, like they know something no one else does. “She did?” I ask shocked, I didn’t want to believe it.

Key nods his head. “Look its ok, Yoora and Siwon are dating, you never know.” He says smiling.

Sighing I nod my head, already knowing it’s lost. They’re in love, and I’d missed my chance, the next party won’t be to welcoming me, it’ll be for their engagement, then a bridal shower, a bachelor’s party for Siwon and a bachelorette’s for Yoora and finally their wedding and reception before they go off together living their lives happily with one another. “Yeah, we never know.” I mumble stride to the door, leaving, making the excuse of me being tired from the jet lag, not explaining that my real fatigue is from loving someone so much. 

For whatever reason I picture Onew being the one to have an unrequited love. Comments <3

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