I suppose I should be used to it by now. I know I shouldn’t be bothered by it anymore. He’s been like this for a while now. I call or try to make plans and he never calls back. He never cares to let me know he’s ok, that we’re ok.

“Hey Minho, its Iseul,” I mumble into my phone worried, “I just wanted to talk to you, call me back when you get the chance.” Hanging up I glare at my phone. Really I know that it shouldn’t hurt, that I should take the hint and move on…but it’s hard to let go of what you want most. And what I want most is for this to work out, for this to just work out between Minho and me.

It was only one of the messages I’d taken to leaving on his phone every one and a while. After a while I guess I just started to get sick of waiting, waiting for him to come back around. So I stopped calling. And I stopped waiting. I started going out on my own…

Giggling I lean into the man holding my waist from behind me, slowly swaying us back and forth. “See you’re prettier when you smile.” He whispers in my ear.

Sighing happily I rest my hands on his arms, I’d decided months ago if I couldn’t get the type of reassurance from Minho, the intimacy then well I’d just have to go and find a way to get it myself. “I’m glad you think so.” I hum happily.

Smiling even more as he nuzzles the back of my head with his own, his arms holding me against him, sighing I look around the room in a haze. Blinking at the set of eyes locked on me, the set of eyes burning, Minho. Turning around I throw my arms around Sunggyu. Removing one of his hands he the side of my face gently before kissing me just as softly.

It’s strange that there is this thrill of doing something so bold, his delicate lips move to my neck, at least they would have if I wasn’t plucked from his hands and dragged away.

“What was that?!” Minho seethes, glaring at me as he pushes me into his car. Getting in he drives us away from the club I’d been having a rather good time at. “Well?”

Glaring at him I shift my weight so I’m facing the window. “It was me trying to feel wanted, not having to wait for someone who wanted me.” I say full of malice. “Besides it isn’t exactly like you’re around to give me attention. You’re too busy doing whatever it is you’re doing.” I snipe.

Hearing him breathe deeply is a good sign; he’s trying to calm down. “How long as this been going on?”

Scoffing I face him, Minho glances at me, a glare still in his eyes. “Well?”

“Long enough that I don’t need to worry about you, so why don’t you just drop me off so we both can get on with our lives?” I ask him whipping my head to face the window again.

I’ve never felt so angry towards Minho, I’ve never wanted to slap him in the face, but then again this is my first time seeing him in a while. “No, I don’t think so. We’re not quite done yet.”

Minho pulls me out of his car and into his chest. “I’m going to show you exactly why you’re not going to go looking for another man ever again.” He murmurs against my ear. “Iseul…” He says grazing the small of my back with his fingers.

Following him up to his apartment, mostly out of curiosity and well excitement, Minho hasn’t ever said anything like that to me, and I have to admit that I like it. I like it a lot.

Once in his apartment Minho pushes me roughly against the wall, keeping me in place by holding my wrists. Pressing his lips against my neck, where Sunggyu’s lips would have been though I have to wonder if they’d be as talented as Minho’s. Trailing his way up to my lips he lightly grazes them while speaking to me. “Iseul no more other boys.” He teases me before crashing his lips down on mine.

Waking up the next morning next to Minho I stare at him in bewilderment, had we really done that? More importantly did this mean we’d be better? That I wouldn’t have to worry about him or was Minho just trying to make it known to me that he didn’t want others touching me, kissing me or holding me in the ways that he did; whatever the reasons I need to think about it. Slipping out of bed I pull my clothes on, walking a little funny I make my way to pull my shoes on when I feel Minho’s arms wrapping around me tightly.

“Where are you going?” He asks right in my ear sending a shiver down my spine. “Hmmh?”
Trying to find my words I turn to face him. “Are you going to tell me why you were avoiding me?” I ask him bravely.

Frowning he steps back, this obviously isn’t what he wants to talk about, far from it I assume. “The same thing you were doing last night.” He answers finally, nodding my head I watch him carefully, both of us trying to figure something out. “Are you mad?”

Shaking my head I let out a sigh. “It isn’t like I have a lot of room to be.” I tell him, sure I’m disappointed, but he must be with me too. “I’m just wondering where that leaves us…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks slightly panicked, Minho’s soft dark brown locks messily stick out in all directions, his doe –like eyes stare at me, completely focused on me.

Sighing again I sit back down to pull my does on. “I mean we both cheated, quite heartlessly then we go and just…” Trailing off I shake my head. “I need to go out to think.” I tell him finally I get my last shoe on. Standing up I open his door, not looking back as I let it swing shut behind me, as more and more space accumulates between Minho and I with every step. Why would I even let Minho touch me like that, I’ve suspected that’s what Minho had done, gone out found another girl to give his attention to. I let him be so intimate with me without even knowing why he’d gone out and found me in the first place. It’s not like he was worried before. But maybe he didn’t know what I’d been up to before he saw me last night.

Shaking the thoughts away I’m suddenly pulled back into very strong arms. “Have you thought enough?” Minho whispers holding me tight against his very firm chest, I can feel him breathing and every reverberation as he speaks. “Hmm Iseul?”

Trying to push away the haze that his words and the skin contact was bringing I shake my head. “We shouldn’t…” I whisper quietly, silently I add on ‘it seems hopeless’.

“We’re both sorry.”

Breathing shakily I nod my head. “But we also cheated for a while.”

This seems to have caught him off guard. “A while….Iseul how long?”

Rolling my eyes as his arms fall from waist I turn around to face him. “I should be asking you the same thing.”

We both stare at each other expectantly. “Three months, the same day I stopped being around.” He confirms finally. “It went on until a couple months ago.”

My turn I guess. “Four, I stopped waiting around for you.” I tell him simply. “I think we should take a break.” Walking away I quickly exit the building and walking fast.

I’m not sure what Minho and I are now, I mean we see each other more regularly, given most of the time it’s when we need someone most. When we don’t care who that someone is, so long as they can make us feel like we’re not so alone in this city, it’s funny I never thought I’d be one for using someone, nor letting myself be used, but I guess things change.

Laughing I grin at Jiyeon, my best friend. “You did not just hang up with Jonghyun calling him Shorty.” I continue to giggle, trying to reign in the laughter spilling from my lips. “You’re unbelievable.”

Jiyeon simply sends me one of her cheeky smiles. “He was with the guys, obviously not paying any attention to me.” The guys…Meaning Jiyeon’s boyfriend sees my supposed boyfriend more than me, well they are best friends. “Hey what’s the matter?”

Shaking my head I smile at her, sure it’s fake, but I need to. “Nothing, anyways what’d you want to talk to me about?” I ask him cheerfully.

Frowning she reaches over the tabletop to hold my hand. “Iseul, I’m worried. You’ve been avoiding calls from me and everyone.” She says pulling her hand back slowly. “The guys are wondering why you’re not hanging out with us anymore.”

Scoffing I look down unable to hide my spite, laughing bitterly I turn away from her. “I’m just trying to sort through some stuff.” I tell her quietly.

“Iseul, I’m being serious. This is the first I’ve seen you in weeks and you’re hiding things from me!”

Biting my lip I turn around to face her, “I’m confused.” I whisper to her. In return Jiyeon tilts her head. “What’s it mean when your boyfriend and you aren’t acting like a couple, but still do things together?” I ask her tears spilling over.

Jiyeon quickly gathers me in her arms. “Sweetie, what do you mean? Minho is…”

“Minho isn’t who I thought, and what’s worse neither am I. Jiyeon I don’t know what I did to make him pull back to make us like this…” I whisper feeling all the pent up sadness spilling out, all the insecurities I’d started out with Minho slowly creeping back to me.

“Honey he’s hanging out with the guys. I’m sure it’s nothing.” She coos.

Shaking my head I pull myself out of her grasp. “It’s not. It’s just hopeless…”

Something angsty for Minho.Also something a bit out of my comfort zone.
It isn't exactly nice with what's imlied. I mean besides the intimate stuff . ///.
Sorta sad and well terrible.
A broken relationship where both aren't sure how to fix it and it seems neither are trying to...
Anyways until next time...
[33 left]