I called Jiyong-ah. I told him about the letter. I wasn't sure what I was thinking.

"I'm sorry, I'm troubling you with things you don't want to know." I sniffled.

"Nonsense, of course I would want to know anything that drives tears out of your eyes!" he said.

"Thank you for listening." I said. "I needed someone to talk to."

"No problem at all." he said. I heard him smile softly. "It's almost the anniversary of his passing, right?"

"Neh, it's next week." I mumbled.

"Let's go together." he said. I was shocked. I wasn't expecting him to say that, but it made me smile.

"Ye. Let's go together." I laughed through my tears.

I was excited to show Jiyong-ah to Junghwa-oppa. I wanted to clear the bad image he had of him. I wanted them to start off on a blank page.

I finished my packing listening to unreleased songs by Jiyong. He had sent them to me, even though he technically wasn't supposed to. He still had a few more to record to complete his album, but it was almost finished. I fell in love with his voice time and time again. Each song had to be listened to at least ten times before I was ready to be floored again by his talent. I could see his facial expression in my mind when he was writing and singing these songs.

It was different from his last album, which, sure, had some love songs, but it focused more on his rapper side. This one was totally inverted. It had some rap songs and rap sequences thrown in nicely, but it was mostly love songs. He told me he wrote these thinking of me, although I don't know how true it is.

I smiled as I fell asleep on my bed, my room finally bare. The only thing I hadn't taken down was the BIGBANG poster on the wall I faced. I fell asleep hearing his voice and seeing his face and it was almost as if he was right there with me. 

The following week found me in Korea. I had asked Hiu-tuk