White’s POV

It’s another Monday again and my morning was very hectic. First, I went to Cap’s house ad fetch him but of course Ai’Gun tagged along and the three of us ate breakfast together. Technically, Ai’Mean and Ai’Plan arrived too and the five of us ate together before parting ways. In IC today, because the academic calendar will end soon, our professors gave us so many homework and paper to finish and as much as I want to complain, I am still lucky because I have P’Mark who can help me—we (Ai’Mean and I) forced him to help us.

During lunch time, I messaged Cap and said that I cannot eat lunch with him because I need to finish my other paper and P’Mark, Ai’Mean, and I were all in the library this lunch time. I missed the chance to be with Cap but why am I working so hard these days? It’s not only about my ambition to have good grades and to go to good company but because I need to have a good future for Cap and I—that’s how sure am I that I will be with Captain for the rest of my life.

“You are being cheesy na khrab!” Ai’Mean complained when I told him my reason because he isn’t even exerting effort in our classes these days but because he is smart—he can make it without sweating—while me—I am also smart but I also need to put extra effort. We are all here in Korean Embassy filling up form to apply for Korean visa anyway, “I am being futuristic na khrab Ai’Mean,” I answered him while still filling up my form.

Right now, we have Cap, Me, Ai’Mean, Ai’Plan, Ai’Gun, P’Mark, Ai’Toptap, Ai’Title, Ai’Cooheart, Ai’Ohm, Ai’Fluke, and Ai’Kris. Actually, Ai’Kris will follow after a week with Nong Rina and P’Best, while Ai’Toptap will follow after two weeks because he booked a vacation ahead of time and he cannot cancel it already so Cap was very sad when Ai’ told us about the conflict. Anyway, most of them are done filling up their forms so they are all submitting them while Ai’Mean and I aren’t done yet because you know Ai’Mean needed to help Ai’Plan with everything while I helped Cap a little but you know Ai’Gun asked help too because P’Mark arrived a bit late so no one will help him.

I sign at the bottom part and stand up, “Love really changes you, Ai’Friend,” Ai’Mean said and follow after me. I can’t help but laugh by his vogue comment, “Coming from you Ai’Mean? I never imagined na khrab you—being so loyal na khrab and being so in love with Ai’Plan,” we walk together and we saw the long line our friends have made just to submit their forms, “Plan is—the greatest decision I’ve made in my life Ai’White,” do you know what I like about mean? He isn’t afraid to voice out his love for Plan. I envy him because I want to be like him—the kind of love you can be proud of.

“Same Ai’—same—I thought—” my eyes voluntarily find Captain, “Captain will always be a dream for me na khrab. Like you know—a good dream that you don’t want to wake up from—but life will really give you a lot of surprises na khrab. Cap became reality and everyday—I am living in my dream,” have you ever had a desire—like one desire you have and once you have you still cannot believe it’s true?

It’s weird, “You have everything na khrab Ai’White and actually you can have him easier before na khrab if you—” “No influence na khrab can make a person love you na Ai’Mean,” I cut him off because I know what he was trying to say. The idea of love for me is very old fashioned, “Don’t get me wrong Ai’White—you know how hard I’ve worked for Plan and I did a mistake na khrab once and I wasn’t planning to do it again na khrab—but in your case—I actually doubt that you will make a move na khrab before. You watched him for two ing years na  khrab and I didn’t even tell you na khrab that I knew about your feelings for him or something—but I did help you na khrab to make a move because I got tired watching you longingly look for him every time,” I know that’s why I am thankful, “So I thought—maybe if you tried to you know—get involve na khrab with your parents then maybe Ai’Cap will know about your existence na khrab and maybe—you know,” Ai’Mean is really surprising sometimes. His way of showing people his kindness and our friendship is like this.

I pat his back before smiling at him and before we reach our friends and our boyfriends, “Thank you na khrab,” I mumbled to him.

After filing our application for Korean visa, we all decided to go out for dinner together in Paragon and of course—who will be daring enough to treat everyone right now? It’s P’Mark, “But you don’t like eating miso soup na khrab White,” Cap voiced out when I ordered a bowl of miso soup and the waiter looks confused. I smile first to the waiter, “It’s okay na khrab, you can ask the others,” I said before looking at my boyfriend who looks adorable when he is confused, “Of course I don’t like it na khrab—” and he looks even more confused with Ai’Fluke laughing behind him, “But you love it—so should I change our order na khrab just because I don’t like it? And here I am trying to make you a bit fat na khrab Cap,” I chuckled after that.

Cap hits my shoulder lightly, “Woie! Why make him fat na khrab Ai’White? Ai’Cap always eat a lot na khrab too just like Ai’Gun and I but he didn’t get fat na khrab so we are both wondering na khrab if he is only hiding the food so that we cannot eat anything na khrab~!” I didn’t look at Ai’Plan who said a lot of things, instead I look at his boyfriend but love really will make you blind because Ai’Mean has this softest smile on his lips, “I will buy you more food na khrab Ai’Plan,” and even pampered his boyfriend.

I thought that was the end already but I should expect this—of course after Ai’Plan, we have, “Buy him a lot of dumplings na khrab and rice porridge na khrab and sushi na khrab—well Ai’Cap normally eats a lot na khrab of different food and I am also worried that he will explode na khrab from eating but after eating a lot—Ai’Cap still looks the same so maybe Ai’Cap isn’t really eating and he is hiding the food na woie~” Ai’Gun will follow.

Have you ever wondered if your boyfriend’s brother is normal or not? Because I always wonder, “You also eat a lot na khrab P’Gun, do you also hide the food na khrab?” but I am so grateful to have Ai’Kris with us. He is like the middle person between Captain and Gun. “Woie! You are right na Ai’Kris—but I don’t hide the food na khrab—they might think that I am hiding it na khrab but I don’t. You can check my bag na khrab if you want~” but somehow he makes Ai’Gun paranoid.

I love watching these kind of interactions, “I am sorry na khrab White~” Cap said so suddenly which instantly diverted my attention to him because he will always be my first priority no matter what I am doing. I touch the corner of his lips, “Why?” I asked him because he looks bothered so suddenly. I don’t want him to feel that way, “My family na khrab—my P’Hyuk is over protective na khrab, my P’Gun is slow na khrab, and my cousin Ai’Kris is manipulative na khrab~” he told me about Ai’Kris anyway so I am aware of his manipulative side—we just both don’t know when he is manipulating someone or not.

I shake my head and pinch his cheeks which gain a soft aww from him, “Your family Cap—is my family too. So I embrace everything about them. You don’t need to feel sorry na khrab to me,” because I love him regardless of his family issues and background. I love him because it’s him not because I am looking at the people around him. And loving a person requires you to love those important people around him too. My love for Captain isn’t selfish, “Are you—really sure about me na khrab, White?” The Captain I’ve watched on stage and from afar looks and acts so confident but in reality—he doesn’t have enough confident—even to himself.

I stop pinching his cheeks and put my hands on his folded hands on his lap, “I chose you na khrab Captain—have some faith in yourself,” I said confidently and I know we still have a long way to go. We are in our own little world that we forgot a tiny itsy bitsy problem, “I am not sure na khrab what P’White is actually holding below na khrab,” I heard Ai’Cooheart followed by his best friend Ai’Fluke, “It can be P’Cap’s hands or it can be P’Cap’s—other head~” but he didn’t dare to continue.

I saw a sudden deep crimson red on Cap’s cheeks and that’s our cue to look at the people around us. I smile at them, “We are holding hands na khrab,” I announced because there’s nothing to hide from them. They all nod with teasing smile on their faces—especially the evil duo Ai’Cooheart and Ai’Fluke, “He can also be holding the tights~” Ai’Gun said, “Or maybe it’s Ai’Cap holding the tights~” Ai’Plan said, “Or they are holding each other’s hands na khrab~” Ai’Gun said again, “We don’t know really~” and finally Ai’Plan said.

I really appreciate them not saying anything anymore because my boyfriend will turn into a human tomato soon if this will continue, “Ai’Gun—come here na khrab. I got pastries for you na khrab~” P’Mark decided to say something after being so quiet for the whole time and of course Ai’Mean will handle Ai’Plan—or so I thought, “Come on Plan—let’s eat here na khrab—or do you also want to hold each other’s tights too na khrab?” and he freaking wink.

‘Go to hell Ai’Mean~’

Because we all need a very soft White to Captain TT_TT