Heechul’s POV

I am too tired of watching these people. I knew that Geng will be back on Songkran because I’ve been talking to him a lot lately. I think I am making Heemi upset lately so I want to make her happy by surprising her—never knew that my Geng will be more surprised than her. Generally—I didn’t understand what they were arguing about but looking at the situation, it looks like Captain got himself a boyfriend and Hyuk is very upset about it.

Here’s the thing, “Donghae and Hyuk are very different from each other,” I mumbled as I lean on Geng’s broad chest. Heemi was fast asleep already because she cried so much. Geng plays with my hair, “Hum—what do you think?” he asked me which makes me sigh, “Hae has been my friend for as long as I can remember. He won’t think about himself—that’s how selfless he is. Even if he experienced horrible things—he would still help other people which was what he did but Hyuk isn’t the same as him. Hyuk has a very strong sense of justice. He experienced so many horrible things in Korea about his relationship with Donghae and I think is the reason why he burst out when he found out that Hae knew something—I bet that Hae knew,” I know this will be a big problem for both of them but they are lucky they experienced it earlier in their relationship.

When Geng and I had our first big misunderstanding, Heemi was already born. Even if I want to end everything between us that time, we have Heemi already. I don’t want my daughter to have a broken family just because her parents weren’t able to agree in the same thing. I am not that selfish although people will look bad at me on how I raise Heemi. I want her to stand up on her own and not let people bully her just because she has gay parents. “In what side are you, Chul?” he asked me and all I can do is shake my head.

“Remember this Geng, when your friends are fighting, you don’t need to choose side. You don’t need to be bias over someone because that will create more misunderstandings in the future. Hyuk was wrong for lashing out at Donghae. Donghae was also wrong for getting into someone’s family issue. Do you even know how hard it was for me to blend in your family?” I shifted my position a bit so that I can look at him. One thing will never change about him; he will always have that same loving look on his eyes when I first met him.

People will say that I am a diva and I don’t deserve Geng and maybe I did agree with them before but after all what we’ve been thru—no one can tell me who I deserve and who I don’t deserve, “In order to have approval from your parents—we need to have Heemi at early age. I was what—19 or 20 that time when we decided to try having Heemi because your parents wanted to have a grandchild which we both know it was impossible without science.” And maybe that’s one reason why I am too cold sometimes to Heemi. I wasn’t ready of big responsibility when I first have her. “And I am sorry about it Chullie~” he mumbled feeling really sorry—but I don’t want him to feel sorry.

“Geng—I am glad we have Heemi. She is—my life now and if I need to make that decision again—I would still choose to have her than have nothing. We’ve been in many trials and we only experienced too much hardship when we have Heemi already. I wasn’t a good Umma to her. I don’t know how to take care of babies. I cried many times every time we need to send her to the hospital because I didn’t know that she was having a hard time already. You almost broke up with me and—those problems Geng are what made us into how we are right now and this problem between Hyuk and Donghae—it will pass on and it will be a very good reminder to them in the future,” because there’s no such thing as perfect relationship.

We both sigh when Heemi moves to the other side of the bed, “We should talk to them,” Geng said before pulling me up to make my position more comfortable. Geng also wrap his hands around my waist, “I think Hyuk will listen to you,” he said with confidence but I beg to disagree, “He will try to listen to me but I am not sure if he will try to put it in his closed mind right now what I will say to him,” because regardless if I will say something, if Hyuk will be close minded then it will be all wasted effort. I look at our side to see Heemi who is still sleeping peacefully, “I feel bad for her,” I said still staring at my daughter.

I am not the best for her, “You just want what’s best for her Chullie. You need to give more credits to yourself. Who do you think take good care of her when I am away? Or who do you think feed her on time and tuck her to bed all the time? You need to stop being hard to yourself Heechul,” I don’t have confidence to raise a child after all these years, “You know—lately—she has been looking at me with those sad eyes. Then one time—Hyuk and Donghae talked to me. They said they feel bad for Heemi because she wasn’t able to experienced affection from me—but Geng, I don’t know how to show affection.” That’s the problem. I’ve learned to be tough for her.

Geng moves his hands on my hands and we are now both holding hands while hugging me, “Chullie—do you remember when we first enrolled Heemi to elementary school?” I don’t know why he was asking me that but I nod, “She was bullied—her classmates told her that she was weird and she has two fathers. They said she was an alien and pulled her pony tail,” I can remember how mad I was when she went back home with bruises on her arms. I didn’t even let a mosquito bite her and yet those kids will hurt her like that. “But—Heemi didn’t cry. She didn’t hit them back. Instead she made them understand that we both love each other and she was the result just like every other kids. She was tough and she made me proud. I am proud of you too—you keep on telling me that you don’t have any idea how to raise her but she grew up more like you. Proud, confident, and brave. No once in this world can question your love for her—and I know that Heemi will understand because she’s part you and part me.” I want to cry because Geng is making me emotional.

When I look at her again, she has this smile on her lips and I know now that I am doing a great job, “You’re right Geng, our Heemi is the product of our love.” And sometimes, you just need to have this kind of late night talk with the person you love because they can assure you that you are enough when people are telling you that you weren’t.

‘Thank you Geng~’

‘Good night, Heemi~’

No ! No because we stan wholesome family moments.

Soooooooo I hope Heemi will be happy now~