Captain’s POV

I don’t know why I am so pissed off the whole day. Ai’Toptap keeps on telling me that I will have lines on my forehead soon. “Ai’ you need to stop looking so scary na khrab. If looks can kill—everyone will probably fall off dead on their seats na Ai’.” He told me again and this is our last class already. I’ve been sitting here silently with sour face the whole day after I came back from IC building.

I hiss at Ai’Toptap, “I am not looking scary Ai’.” I defended myself because I am the only one who understands myself better than other people. Ai’ scratches his head, “Then what? I don’t think you normally looks like Grumpy from Snow White—when most of the time you are more like Sleepy or Dopey~” in normal circumstances, I might probably teasing him because of his weird references but this time I just roll my eyes on him.

“Are you sure you’re not a girl na khrab? Your mood swings are worse than my Gunsmile’s cousins.” He made fun of me but I realized something on his speech, “Woie Ai’, have you met Ai’Gunsmile’s family?” this is something that I shouldn’t miss because my Ai’Friend’s relationship with Ai’Funny is so serious. Ai’Toptap looks at me with smile on his face, “Khrab Ai’. I normally throw party na khrab every Gunsmile’s birthday and also we invited them last year on our anniversary celebration because Gunsmile wanted me to introduce na to his relatives. They’ve probably know me already because we’ve been friend for a long time but not as his boyfriend na khrab so we decided to make it a big celebration.” My mouth gap was getting wider and wider as he progress with his speech. Why?

‘Very domesticate na Ai’.’

I put both of my hands on his shoulder, “How? How did they react? What did they tell you khrab? And how did you feel Ai’?” I have too much questions in my mind right now. Ai’ looks unaffected by my sudden questions, “Ai’Cap—we’ve been there for each other for a long time and his family likes me na khrab even before we started dating. His cousins knew my secret crush on him even before he confessed to me na khrab. When we told them the news, they were very happy for us and his cousins gave us anniversary gifts after. At first, his Pa was a bit hesitant by our relationship khrab because he said that people will bully us but Gunsmile for the first time stood up for me na khrab and told his father that we will be happy regardless of what people will say. After few months, his father got used to us and accepted our decision. His Mae loves me regardless if we have relationship or not so it’s not shocking for her.” I listen very carefully.

“How about your parents? I’ve met your Mae and Pa, Ai’. They look kind khrab but a bit intimidating.” Why didn’t I know that my friend here has this kind of story? Am I too focused on myself or did I not care about his love life before? “Aw—my Mae and Pa were the hardest for us na Ai’. Gunsmile needed to prove himself over and over again because I am an only son na Ai’. My Mae and Pa expected me to give them a grandchild so Gunsmile did his best na Ai’. We almost gave up na khrab because I thought Gunsmile was not serious about me. Well—the fact that I am the one that loves him more put me in disadvantage—but you know na Ai’, when you want something—you will have it if you work hard on it. At the end my Mae and Pa accepted our relationship with a condition to still give them grandchild. I thought it was just a joke but they weren’t joking—I knew they weren’t especially when I met Nong Heemi. Her life is a miracle na khrab.” I can’t help but feel proud of my friend. He has been thru a lot but him and Ai’Gunsmile still has that genuine smile on their faces.

“I envy you Ai’,” I blurted out. I pull out my hands on his shoulder and let him read the message on my Line that keeps on bothering me, “Huh? What’s this na khrab?” He grabs my phone and read the message loudly, “Ai’Cap, I saw your guest Nong Heemi and your brother Ai’Gun in our building during lunch break na khrab. Nong looks happy to see me but your brother was glaring at me but not telling me why. Did I do something na Ai’? Also, I might be a bit busy today na khrab so I can’t answer your calls na khrab and even go to your building. Let’s meet tomorrow or the next day if I am not busy Ai’.” I sigh so deep and bury my face on my hands, “He is so irritating na Ai’!!” the sound muffles from my hands.

I didn’t know how Ai’Toptap looks at me now, “But he is reporting to you Ai’. Why are you mad at him na Ai’?” he asked me and all I can do is defend myself, “I am not mad Ai’!! I just don’t like liars na khrab. He said he will be busy na Ai’ but this lunch I saw him playing happily with his Nong. I was there to surprise him like what you told me to do but I was more surprise to see him laughing, running, hugging, and playing with his Nong Pretty!” unconsciously, the fire inside my heart starts to burn again. I don’t like how I feel.

I was in the middle of my internal battle when I heard my crazy friend laughing. Why is he even laughing? Is he happy seeing me in this state? “And you are telling me Ai’ that you are not sure what you feel about this P’?” I raise my head and see him wiping tears at the corner of is eyes because he’s laughing so much, “I should stop hanging out with crazy person like you Ai’.” I told him which makes him laugh harder, “your questions this morning—has an answer now Ai’. You just need to connect the dots. You being jealous of his Nong—and you being this upset and moody—are you really that slow Ai’?” I have this urge to hit his head so suddenly but I stop myself.

“I am not jealous na—” “Then—do you want P’ to date that Nong?” I stand up so suddenly, “NO! Are you crazy?” and my loud response gain attention from my classmates. Good thing our professor left already and we are about to go back home now. Ai’ laughs more before passing my phone back to me with a bright message coming from my Line. I quickly ignore Ai’ because the message is from P’White. I read his message.

P’White: What do you mean Ai’? I will be right there. If you go home—I will follow you and talk to you in your house khrab.

I am so confused with his message so I open the application and saw a dreadful message that I am 100% sure I didn’t send.

Ai’Cap: P’ let’s stop this already. I am getting tired na khrab with our set up.

“! AI’TOPTAP!” but my friend is already running away from me and I hurried fix my things to escape too in case P’White suddenly shows up, “YOU WILL THANK ME LATER NA AI’!!” my Ai’Crazy friend shouted and I also runaway as soon as my things are in my bag. Good thing my guitar is in the rehearsal room as well as my music sheets.

Few people are going out of the building because only few students have night classes. The way towards the parking lot is almost deserted. All I want right now is to get my bicycle and pedal as fast as I can to our house. I regret telling P’Gun not to wait for me. I walk twice the speed of my normal phase when a loud honk from a car startled me, “SHIYA!” I cursed loudly before turning around to curse at the owner of the car. “Are you—” but it’s not an ordinary car. The owner is probably not ordinary too, “Ai’Cap!” I cursed again and again in my mind when P’White came out from his expensive Mercedes-Benz and called out my name.

‘Run Captain! Run!’

But I didn’t run, instead I suddenly feel the urge to get mad at him. “Now you have time to find me na P’?” I asked him sarcastically. A while ago he was telling me how busy he will be and now he is standing in front of me—just wow. P’ put a good distance between us, “What do you mean by your message Ai’?” he asked me and he looks so sad which before makes me sad too but not today.

I shake my head, “You can understand Thai right P’? Or do you want me to say it to you again in English?” my sarcastic level is getting higher and higher. It was Ai’Toptap that sent that message but I am too mad and upset to admit that it wasn’t me. P’ takes a step forward and I don’t feel scared of him or I didn’t even take a step backward. “Why? Did I do something? Tell me…I will try to fix it.” Another step forward and we are few steps apart from each other now.

I smirk, “Why? P’ you shouldn’t be with me—you shouldn’t be with a guy. What you’ve felt for me now is just temporary. Soon you will realize that you like girls more than boys—soon you will realize that you like her and not me—soon you will get tired of me.” I pour my heart out without holding back, “Who? I don’t have anyone other than you na Ai’.” He looks so desperate to know and I will not make it hard for him, “Your Nong, P’. Your Nong this afternoon na khrab. Actually—you look good together na khrab. If you will date that Nong—you can create a good future na khrab. I am not crazy not to know that you are rich P’—you drive this expensive car. Your family might want you to have good future na P’ with a girl and not with me.”

He is blinking so fast like what I am saying is not understandable, “Are we talking about Nong Gale? The one I am with this afternoon?” He asked me and I cannot read his voice anymore, “Chai P’.” I am too honest to say no.

P’ sigh deeply, “Listen Ai’, Nong Gale is like my sister already. We grew up together na khrab and we don’t have any relationship Ai’. In fact, Nong Gale knows about us—she even told me that she wants to meet you na soon and be your friend.” His explanation doesn’t make me less anxious. Everyone’s voices are echoing in my mind. P’Gun’s what if’s, Nong Heemi’s reminder to me to find out what I feel about P’White or else someone will snatch him away from me, and Ai’Toptap’s conclusion about how I feel for P’. Everything is running on my head and I don’t like it—I don’t like having those thoughts.

“P’—let’s stop this. Soon—we will also get tired of this so let’s stop this while we haven’t started anything yet.” My words hurt me badly and hurts P’ badly but I am worried—worried about our future. I don’t want to lose P’ so I think staying as his friend will be better than not having him at all. I was too busy that I didn’t see the big step that P’ took and suddenly I found myself in his embrace again.

He hugs me so tightly that my face is already on his nape and his hands are pressing hard on my back preventing me to move, “P’~” “Why are you saying that Ai’Cap? Why are you thinking about the future? We are in the present now Ai’. Think about the future when we are already there na khrab.” Why? Why is he so good at this? “I’ve never believe in love at first sight Ai’—until I saw you performing for the first time—” my eyes become so big when I heard his confession. I haven’t asked him why he likes me so much and this is the first time he disclosed this matter to me. “Two years of looking for you from afar and didn’t have an opportunity or courage to be close to you like this na khrab.”

“What’s so good about me P’? Why do you like me so much?” I asked him because I know myself and I know that there are more awesome people than me. P’ pressed my body closer to him if that’s possible, “Nothing—” he said, “You have unpredictable mood swings. You pushed me away many times. You aren’t sure what you want to do with me. You cursed a lot in front of me and in front of other people—above all you are afraid that your P’Hyuk will meet me—but—” I suddenly feel his hand caressing my back, “You have a strong sense of justice. You love your friends so much. You can die for your brothers. Your passion for music is undeniable. And—you can make my world upside down without even trying—” he sighs, “I am crazy about you.”

My heart suddenly beat so fast. My vision becomes clearer. Suddenly a path opens up right before my eyes—suddenly all I can see is P’White, “P’~” and suddenly I feel my hands responding to his hug. I gently wrap my arms around him and hide half of my face on his nape. Suddenly I have this crazy smile on my face and suddenly I know what Ai’Toptap means. Suddenly, I know the answer to P’Gun’s questions, and suddenly I can proudly tell Nong Heemi, “P’White—do you really love me?” I asked him.

He nods his head, “More than you can imagine.” he responded, “Are you sure you won’t get tired of me?” I asked again and I cannot hide my smile anymore. He nods again, “Is there even a reason to get tired of you?” I giggle when he asked me back, “P’ answer it first~” but I demanded and he laughs at me, “I won’t Ai’—even if you get tired of me already.” P’ really knows how to answer well.

Ai’Toptap told me—when you know your answer be prepared and be brave, “Then—is it okay if I also love you, P’?” and my heart beat widely like it’s going to get out of my chest. P’ suddenly pushes me away from the hug. He looks at me—the kind of bewilder look. His mouth is hanging open, “P’ khrab—you need to answer me first na khrab.” I demanded again his bewildered look change into a big smile, “Are you—serious?” he asked me but that’s not what I want, “P’ khrab—you need to answer me first not question me.” I reminded him and quickly he nods his head, “Chai—chai—of course—it’s okay Ai’Cap.”

Then that’s all I need to hear, “Okay—my class starts at 8 o’clock tomorrow. Fetch me in my house at 6 o’clock. Let’s eat breakfast together na khrab—P’—nope—White khrab,” day 1 will start tomorrow na khrab.

‘I am looking forward—White khrab~’

CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING WHILE TYPING? I HOPE YOU CAN OMG FINALLLLLLLY~