Mark’s POV

How to up my game?

I’ve been so patient with my wife and I want him to figure out what he feels for me on his own but of course that doesn’t mean I am not frustrated especially with the people around us that’s trying to come in between us. I might be an arrogant bastard who will do everything for Ai’Gun but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything at all.

I felt hurt when Ai’Gun talked to me before and told me to stay away from him. Why? Because this is the first time I fall so deep and I wasn’t even sure if my feelings will be reciprocated. When Best and I decided to date each other, we were so young and shallow to think about the prejudice of our relationship. Yes, we got hurt by his parents and we broke up in the end but that kind of hurt is normal for me—but to be hurt alone—and not to get the love back that you want—is the kind of hurt that I cannot endure, so for the past few days during my ‘stay-away-from-Ai’Gun-project’ I tried my very best not to cross path to him because as much as I love to see him, I don’t want to feel the hurt that I’ve once felt when he told me to leave him alone.

I felt frustrated when Ai’Gun says something then he wasn’t sure why he said that. When I asked him if I should date Best again or not, he told me not to. I thought he finally figured it out—his feelings for me—but I was wrong. It turns out that he doesn’t want me to start a relationship with someone I didn’t love. That’s very ironic knowing that the person I love was the one giving me that advice.

I felt happy—over the top actually—every time Ai’Gun appreciated my effort just to be with him, just to help him, just to make him feel better, just simply breathing beside him. I’ve never been that happy in my entire life when he told me that he is lucky to have me (I remove the friend part in his statement in my brain already) when I treated them after they won the band competition and Ai’Cap was in deep with Ai’White. Of course, I wasn’t happy about their situation but being there for Ai’Gun when he needed me the most is the most fulfilling thing I did in my entire life.

I felt worried when Ai’Cooheart called me and said that Ai’Gun was sick. I run all the way from my college building to the parking lot in span of 2minutes and drive so fast I thought I will get demerit because of my reckless action—and when I saw him doing well—I thought I can die peacefully already because right now, his safety is my first priority.

People around me are probably judging me. I am using Best—that’s correct but I did try to stop him but he was as stubborn as I am. I am using my money—just to give everything to Ai’Gun but it’s something that I will not deprive him. I know for a fact too that Ai’Gun isn’t even after my money. He probably isn’t aware that I have too much money in my bank account.

Ai’Gun isn’t just a fascination to me—or a new flavor of the month. Ai’Gun is someone I am ready to throw away my enormous ego and drop everything if he is involve—that is how much I love Ai’Gun. “Ai’August—what should I do?” I asked the closest friend I have here in my classroom and he looks at me, as divine as he is, “You did your best already na Ai’Mark—so—why don’t you ask him already what he feels for you?” I can only sigh with his suggestion.

“Did I really do my best na Ai’Friend? I think—I only did what I think is best na khrab,” realization hurts you when it hits you in 200 seconds per mile. I bit my inner cheeks, “Why do you even think na khrab that you just did your best and not what’s best for Ai’Gun?” now he asked me and this question will definitely tarnish my ego but I really do care about Ai’Gin—so much, “because he never signs up for this Ai’August. From the beginning na khrab—it has been me who forced myself to him without asking him or without considering his feelings na kharb,” I sigh so deeply while looking at the empty blackboard and the almost empty classroom.

It’s already time to go home but I asked Ai’August to hang out for a while because I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I want someone who can give me some good advice and maybe a trusted person, “Yup, he didn’t sign up for all the things you’ve been doing na khrab and he probably felt frustrated too when you confessed to him and chased him like a crazy love sick high school student na khrab—but—listen to me Ai’Mark—what I’ve learned about love and about how we feel is—nothing is wrong. When you fall in love—you don’t need to use your brain na khrab—you need to use your heart.” Ai’August moves his chair closer to mine while I am just looking at him, “This—” he points at my chest, “is in your chest na khrab for a reason. And this—” he points at my head, “is also in your head for a reason. I don’t want you na khrab to be confused just because you are using your head so much when all you need to do is to follow you heart na Ai’,” does it make sense?

“Based on study na khrab—” “That what makes it wrong na khrab Ai’Mark—” he cuts me off, “Can you see it?—you are using your head na khrab which I know—believe me—I know how smart you are but when it comes to Ai’Gun—you are becoming a fool.” Am I? “Ai’Mark, you love him right?” he asked me and I really want to say ‘isn’t it obvious’ but instead I nod my head, “And you are willing to do anything for him na khrab, right?” for the second time he asked and I nod eagerly, “Then—go for it! Ask him na khrab! You don’t have all the time in the world to stay here in our classroom na kharb—idle—and think about your hundreds of theories na khrab if Ai’Gun likes you back or not—instead—use your theory by simply asking him, ‘Ai’Gun, do you like me na khrab?’ and when he answers already, decide if you still want to pursue him—or not because Ai’Mark—you can’t just formulate a formula na khrab to let someone loves you back,” and he is right. For the first time, I must admit that everything that Ai’August said—is ing right.

I can’t help but let out a smile—a genuine one that only Ai’Gun can see, “You are right na khrab—what am I even doing here? I should go to him and—” “P’MARK NA KHRAB!~” and then I heard a loud yell coming from the classroom door. I quickly look at it and saw my future standing right before my eyes, “Woie! You are here na P’Mark~” he looks so happy when he sees me and I can’t help but make my smile bigger.

“Ai’Gun!” I called out to him and he quickly run inside my classroom. In the corner, I see Ai’August looking at both of us—like he is observing, “I’ve been looking for you to the whole building na woie P’Mark!” he sounds like he is in a rush and I don’t know why. He stopped just an inch apart from me because he leans dangerously close to me. I look at my wrist watch and see that it’s quarter to 6 already, “Ahm—okay na khrab—why are you looking for me Ai’Gun?” I asked because damn it, I am too tempted to cross the line between our lips because he is so close to me—too damn close!

But when I look at him for a bit, he looks like a lost puppy. I swear, Ai’Gun will be the death of me soon, “P’Mark—I need a favor na khrab~” what’s funny is, he hasn’t asked for it yet but I already agreed to whatever favor he wants to ask from me, “And what is it?” but I played it cool. Ai’Gun smiles at me in HD and full screen and super zoom, “Can I—” can he??? “Sleepover na khrab?” and there goes my heart.

“Alaiwa?!?” I asked because oh boy, I don’t think I will be able to survive the night without doing anything to him.

Ai’Gun leans out a bit but he grabs both of my hands, “I am in deep trouble na P’Mark. I need to finish my papers na khrab that I forgot because I kept on playing na khrab with Ai’Plan and hanging out with Ai’Cooheart and Ai’Fluke—now I need to finish them na khrab by Friday but I don’t know how to finish them because Ai’Plan betrayed me and he will have a sleepover with Ai’Mean to make his papers na khrab—and I—” no no no Ai’Gun—not the pout, “I don’t have anyone na khrab who can help me na khrab but good thing—Ai’Cooheart is very smart na khrab—he told me na khrab to ask P’Mark because P’ is the smartest in his class and I remember Ai’Cap telling me that P’Mark helped Ai’White and Ai’Mean with their papers—so please—please please P’—na na na help me na P’~”

‘! I am in deep s too!’

I look at Ai’August to ask for help, “Err—why don’t—Ai’August come with us and help you na kharb Ai’Gun?” I suggested but Ai’August for the first time has the craziest smile on his lips, “Sorry—I need to pass na Ai’—I need to go to Ngern and help him na khrab too!” when did I hear his name? And why is he calling him with so much familiarity, “Woie! Say hi to P’Ngern for me na P’~” and Ai’August waves goodbye and Ai’Gun waves back at him. All I can do is to watch him betrays me too.

“Ahm—Ai’Gun—you see—” “So P’—what time are we going to your house na khrab? Can we drop by my house na first? I need to get my books na khrab and my clothes~” how many more surprises do I need today? Because damn it! Ai’Gun sleeping in my house—with only the two of us? I don’t think one of us will come out a live tomorrow. “Err—now?” I said with too much uncertainty.

OH SHOOT!!!!!