Ohm’s POV

I don’t speak a lot and I don’t really interact to people a lot. Why? Because I am not interested. My life is boring and I am not proud to admit it but people probably guess just by looking at me—but everything changes.

I was a normal university student studying film when I’ve first met Fluke. Yes, my boyfriend. He was supposed to be at the orientation for the freshmen but being a free spirit—he wandered around the campus like he wasn’t a new student. I normally hang out at the back building of my college and there are only few students that are aware of this place. For me, this is the most peaceful place in the university—not until this guy interrupted the peace.

I don’t really care about freshmen who weren’t interested in the orientation but that time—he looks so irritated mumbling words under his breath while pressing his phone hard on his ears, “Where are you na Ai’?” his voice sounds so sweet but his face looks like he will murder someone.

Good thing, I am sitting at the other side of the pillar separating me and him. He cannot possible see me in here but I noticed him—I don’t know why but I noticed him.

I stopped looking because I hate complicated things and complicated people. I was trying to put on my earphone that time when I heard a loud curse, “ YOU!” and then the freshman walks pass me.

I know from a fact that my life will never be the same after that.

I keep on hanging out at the same spot for weeks hoping to find peace of mind but every time I come back I keep on seeing the problematic child talking loudly to his phone—eating his lunch and chatting—until one day I saw him being slapped by a girl. I didn’t try stopping them because I am not crazy to get involve, “! Doesn’t mean my boyfriend na kah flirted on you he will really take you seriously. Look at yourself—and look at me—I am a girl na kah and you are a boy—no one will even take you seriously—stop being delusional!” the first thing that I realized that time.

‘Damn, this guy is to brave na khrab!’

He didn’t cry—he didn’t show weakness in front of the girl, instead he grabbed her arms and his laugh echoes in the almost empty corridor while I am sitting on the pillar again opposite to them trying to ignore them and trying not to let them notice me, “Put your boyfriend on a leash na khrab. As you said, he flirted with me na khrab and not me flirted with him first,” his proud voice makes me wonder what kind of person he is.

I heard another loud slap followed by, “Dream on! You are gay na kah! You will not find happiness because you don’t deserve to be happy~” teenage drama in school. Not a very nice scene to witness. I am still glad that I am covered by the pillar because this will be awkward when they see me. I sigh but not loud enough.

I remember how I tried hard to make myself comfortable when suddenly, “P’ khrab—” I got startled when I heard this Nong’s voice. I didn’t speak, “I will just sit behind you na khrab P’ so that I won’t bother you,” he informed me and that makes me so confused, “Since when?” I finally asked.

The chuckled he let out doesn’t sound happy chuckled at all, “I know that P’ is always here na khrab but I am too stubborn going here every day—but P’—can you just let me off the hook? I am—really upset right now na khrab,” and hearing that, I can guess why he is upset.

Since that day, without looking at each other and without crossing the stone pillar in between us, I formed a very unexpected talking relationship with Fluke. Every day we hang out there at the back building. Sometimes I talk, sometimes not.

For the past 1 month that we’ve been hanging like that, I’ve learned a lot from Nong—a side from our names. He calls me P’ while I called him Nong sometimes. “Woie P’—I really cannot stand Ai’Cooheart na khrab! He knows na khrab that I had feeling with P’Title before but he keeps on showing PDA in front of me na khrab!” like the story of his unexpected friendship with this Ai’Cooheart that I haven’t met yet. He always complains about this Ai’ but I can feel how much he cares for him, “Jealous?” I asked him. I am normally a man with few words, “Awww P’—of course not! I already moved on from P’Title na khrab! I just don’t like that they are too sweet and Ai’ keeps on rubbing to my face na khrab that I am single,” and I don’t understand why his status bothers him so much.

“P’—how about you na khrab, do you have girlfriend?” I remember my shocked face when I saw my reflection on my smartphone when Fluke asked me about relationship. When I started my university life, I disregarded everything, “Before,” I answered him but that moment, it felt like I need to add more, “I haven’t been in love after that,” his sharp inhale makes me panic a bit because I thought he was chocking that time but turns out he was trying to suppress his laughing, “P’—that sentence is long na khrab~” and like that, I realized how much I love hearing his laughter even though there’s a pillar that separates us.

Another month has passed and Fluke and I were still hanging out at the back building but this time—the topics of his usually one way conversation is getting weirder and personal, “My parents na khrab cannot accept that their only son is gay,” he said one time while I am drinking Thai tea while reading a script that I need to memorize by tomorrow.

“P’—do you find me weird na khrab for being gay?” he asked me and I know he is openly gay. What I admire the most about Fluke, he isn’t afraid to show who he really is. He was so honest when we started hanging out that he is gay, “No!” I said firmly because I never judge a person by their uality.

His deep sigh and heavy breathing has always been the source of my curiosity. “P’—do you know why I let us meet but not see each other na khrab?” he asked me again and the question is very odd. “No idea,” I answered honestly and Fluke giggles behind the pillar, “Because I don’t want to fall in love na khrab with P’—” the first time I felt the tug on my chest again after a long time, “I can easily walks around this stupid pillar na khrab and talk to P’ like normally but when P’ decided to just talk like this I thought P’ was really weird na khrab—but I asked Ai’Cooheart about this and he told me na khrab that maybe this is for the better na P’—I am being too comfortable with P’ that I might start liking P’ if I see him,” I don’t know what exactly is running on my mind that time and am I really hearing those words correctly?

The days follows but I’ve became so busy because of the constant stages plays and music video production. I was not running always from Fluke that time—but thinking about it—maybe I did run from him. I wasn’t afraid of him falling from me but I am afraid that I might be falling for him—without even having a single one on one conversation with him—face to face.

Then that day happened. I was in a rush because I need to help with the pre-production of my team for our finals when I suddenly run into him—my pillar neighbor, “Ai’Cooheart~” the sparks in your eyes was a mystery to me that time and without realizing, I was following your movement—every steps—every breathe—every gestures.

My eyes cannot believe how beautiful you are with your smile like sunshine and with your cute pale skin and red lips. Everything about you is screaming of cuteness—like a child that you want to protect. I thought that time, ‘You might not know me na khrab~’ and even thought I needed to go run already, I stayed waiting for you to talk again, “You are so loud na khrab Ai’Fluke! Hurry up! Title’s performance will start in 30 minutes na khrab!” and hearing your name makes me smile so big.

I want to go back to our place. Where the two of us only exist. I want to face you soon and tell you that you shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself anymore. That people who keeps on telling you rude words were wrong. You aren’t a disgrace in your family. You aren’t a you steals other boyfriends—because you deserve the love and you deserve to be love.

I don’t remember how much I suffered that time not being able to talk to you for 2 weeks after accidentally bumping into each other but one time I tried again. I went back to our place with the pillar in between and sit there like what I normally do.

I was so engrossed with revising the script on my hands, “P’?” then I heard you call me. Without thinking twice, I put the papers on my lap, “Nong?” I asked too with same curiosity on your voice. Do you even know how nervous I was that time? “I thought P’ will not go here again,” your deep sigh and sad tone makes me guilty.

“Sorry na khrab—” I was contemplating if I should add more or not but hearing no response from you makes me made up my mind, “I was busy,” I said it. I thought I might ruin the small friendship we have but Fluke—you really are full of surprises. “I am glad na khrab—” you finally said it, “Why?” “Because I thought P’ was trying to avoid me na khrab.”

“Why?” I asked again and soon your laughter echoes at the back building—like when you were talking about how you made fun of Ai’Cooheart in front of his boyfriend’s friends. “P’—why don’t you like talking a lot?” and this is the first time someone addresses my problem with communication.

This has been my problem for the longest time that I can remember, “Weird?” I asked him and a short hum is his answer, “P’ doesn’t have problem with scripts,” I tried making it longer but that’s the longest already. Fluke made some noises behind me—behind the pillar, “Then P’—why can’t you converse longer? Are you shy na khrab? Even to me P’? We’ve been talking for few months now P’—you should be comfortable with me,” and I know he is right.

I made some ticking sound using my tongue before leaning on the stone pillar, “Script is easy,” I tried to remember the feeling of memorizing the script, “Just need to remember,” I tried making it longer again, “Hum—and?” and he pushed me into talking more, “Talking needs words—coming from me,” and that must probably the longest explanation I’ve said in my entire life.

I’ve begun to open up to you too. My baby steps into talking more—maybe longer than usual—until I was able to speak in one sentence. Without noticing—we’ve been pillar friends for 4 months now. “Don’t forget the play na khrab Nong,” I told him. We finally decided to meet each other after my play this Saturday. Every time we’ve spent together here—it’s making me feel suffocated. Like I wanted to turn around and look at you.

Fluke didn’t know this but I’ve been watching him for a while now. I thought I was being fascinated by him and watching him secretly was okay—not until one of my schoolmate, Nong Fon caught me. Maybe getting caught by her was the hardest part of falling for Fluke.

You see, Nong Fon is same age as Fluke but in different section. She entered our college because she’s a really good writer. I’ve read some of her scripts and they are really good—but Nong has a strange fascination—with BL.

She teased me nonstop and even told me she will make a fans club for me and Fluke but I sort of scared her because I am a senior. But in return, she will still make the fans club—when I already confessed to Fluke—which by that time I don’t even want to address the feelings.

“Khrab P’—woie is it okay P’ to bring P’Title’s friend na khrab? P’Gun was very noisy na khrab telling me that he will not invite me na khrab to their performance later if I will not give them free pass na khrab for the play—I don’t even know that P’Gun is interested with plays,” I’ve felt like I’ve known his friends because he kepts on talking about them.

His undying feud with Ai’Cooheart and his awe with P’Title’s band (I did my research; he is one year older than me). Even his irritation with his classmates for always pushing him into acting for gay roles in their plays.

I smile but I Fluke isn’t aware that he is making me smile now, “Give them seats. P’ has a lot of tickets.” I assured him because right now, meeting each other is my first priority.

By the end of the day, we also exchange our numbers by saying our numbers out loud while typing it on our respective phones. Probably one of the happiest days of my life. I remember how I tried changing my Line display picture for maybe 20 times because the previous one looked so lame. In the end, I put a picture of the empty theater.

If you’re asking about Fluke’s DP that time? It was his picture smiling so big with his messy hair because of the air.

Still—I didn’t message Fluke—not until the day of the play that I received a message from him.

Fluke: Good luck, P’!

Ohm: Thank you na khrab~

And I wasn’t afraid to put my name now. Besides—he will not know who I am—not until the curtain call.

I did my best. Probably the best that I can ever act because I know somehow your eyes are looking at me—even though you don’t know that it’s me acting in front right now. I saw you—of course I saw you. In the sea of people, Fluke is glowing like the spotlight has been pointing on him. Like the main actor—and I know that time—I’ve been doomed.

‘I fall in love na khrab with my pillar neighbor—I fall in love na khrab at Fluke Pongsatorn!’

What a best way to end this by hanging all of you guys? hahahhaha