Mark’s POV

“Are you really sure about this P’Gun?” Ai’Cap asked his brother while he is busy packing his things. I nod my head and move forward, “Chai—Ai’Gun—are you sure about this na khrab?” because I am not sure about this.

Ai’Cap looks at me with his eyes judging me but this isn’t about me or my plan to have Ai’Gun, “Ai’Cap I don’t understand na khrab why you keep on asking me? I told you na khrab that I need to finish my papers and P’Mark will help me with it—na—P’Mark?” and why did this conversation turn around to me again? I nod my head though, “But Ai’Gun—don’t you want to just do it here na khrab in your house? I mean—I can sleep over here,” and it’s safer this way.

Ai’Cap quickly nods his head, “Chai P’, don’t you want to make you papers here?” but my stubborn wife quickly shakes his head, “NO! Ai’Cap—Ai’Toptap told me that you also need to finish a demo music na khrab for classical na khrab! You need to finish it and if P’ is here—you will be distracted na khrab so don’t think about me and just focus on what you need to finish too~” and then Ai’Gun walks pass both of us.

I sigh before looking again at Ai’Cap. I don’t want him to misunderstand the situation, “Ai’—” “Listen to me P’Mark—” he spats the words bitterly and all I can do is nod, “Touch my P’Gun and I am telling you—I will quickly call my P’Hyuk na khrab!” I don’t easily get scared but right now—I am because, “You don’t need to remind me Ai’—I am also worried na khrab because—how can I make sure na khrab that I will not do something to him?” Since I fall in love with Ai’Gun, I don’t know myself anymore.

I made a lot of decisions that wasn’t me at all.  Ai’Cap grinned his teeth, “You—aren’t—helping—at—all—P’!” I want to hit my head because I cannot calm down. Just thinking about Ai’Gun and I—just the two of us—my imagination is running wild already, “Where are your Mae or your Pa or even Par na khrab?” Ai’Cap asked me again but the only thing I can do is to shook my head, “I live alone na Ai’. I have my own apartment na khrab,” and that’s the biggest reason why I am so tempted and worried about tonight. No one—as in no one will look at us.

[par – auntie that isn’t related to you]

I expect Ai’Cap to pursue Ai’Gun more or to even get mad at me because I think that’s better to let Ai’Gun stays here in their house but I was wrong. Suddenly, Ai’Cap smiles evilly before yelling, “P’Gun na khrab—don’t forget your toothbrush in our bathroom na P’~” and my eyes has never been this big, “Ai’!” I called out to him but we all heard Ai’Gun’s quick reply, “Oppss! I almost forgot! Thank you na Ai’Cap!”

Ai’Cap smirks before saying the most dreadful challenge I’ve ever heard in my entire life, “This is a good chance na khrab P’Mark—for you to prove to me na khrab that you deserve P’Gun! If you won’t lay a single finger to my P’Gun or won’t do anything to him na khrab—tonight! Then you have my words—I will help you with my P’Gun. I will not stop you to court my P’ too!” I love the reward but I am so afraid with the challenge, “So P’Mark—you better keep your hands to yourself na khrab because once you did something to my P’Gun—just like what P’Mean almost—anyway—just keep your hands and make sure that my P’ will be safe!”

‘I’m dead na khrab!’

My apartment isn’t far from Ai’Gun’s house but I wish it was so that when we arrive Ai’Gun is already tired and ready to sleep—case close—but I am not that selfish. I know how important for Ai’Gun to finish his papers.

Ai’Gun run towards the living room while I put down our bags on the sofa, “Wow! So meaning P’Mark you have all of this place all by yourself na khrab because you don’t live with your Mae and Pa?” he asked me with amazement in his eyes, “Chai, Ai’!” I answered but not too soon because if Ai’Gun becomes my wife, then he can live here with me.

Ai’Gun continue to run around my apartment asking me things about my house like why I have so many black and white things and why my room is pitch black—or even why my refrigerator has a lot of eggs—and I explained everything to him patiently in the simplest way possible to not cause confusion to him. Now, the hardest thing to ‘keep-my-hands-off-Ai’Gun’ is the bedroom. I only have one bedroom with king size bed. It must be my mistake by using two extra rooms as storage room and as my closest. “We can sleep together na P’Mark! In our house na khrab, Ai’Cap and I sleep side by side because before, Nong Heemi and P’Donghae slept over couple of times in our room.”

I shake my head, “No Ai’—it’s not—” “Oh! Don’t worry P’Mark—I also don’t move a lot while sleeping na kharb!” he cut me off but that’s not the point—but what can I do? He smiles at me like the bright sun and all I can do is smile back and nod, “Khrab!”

“Anyway na khrab P’Mark, where is your bathroom? I will change my clothes first na khrab then we can do my papers na khrab~” for someone who isn’t safe here in my apartment, Ai’Gun sounds so cheerful. I will just pray to Buddah to help me get thru the night, “Just walk straight ahead and pass thru my bedroom na khrab then turn right,” I answered him and all I get is his precious gummy smile and a quick, “Thank you na P’~” before Ai’Gun runs out of sight.

I sigh when I heard the water running in the bathroom. All things are scattered in the living room. Ai’Gun’s books and papers and pens but that isn’t my concern right now so I need a reinforcement right now. The one who will run extra miles for me. I grab my phone and call someone. I press the phone hard on my ears, “Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!” I was chanting before I heard the call being picked, “He—” “Best! Get your here na khrab in my apartment! I don’t think I can survive the night with Ai’Gun here and going to have a sleep over! Do you understand how hard this situation for me na khrab? And Ai’Cap made me promise to him to not touch his brother to help me na khrab with Ai’Gun!!!” I cut him off because I don’t have time with him ing around me.

“Ahmm—” but he didn’t answer the call, “P’Mark na kah—” I quickly look at my phone but it says Best so I put it back on my ears again, “It’s Rina na kah—actually—P’Best—he passed out already na kah,” what does she mean? “Passed out?” I asked and Nong answers quickly, “He—got caught up na kah with his P’s in university and then they called me 30 minutes ago that P’Best was wasted so I asked the driver na P’ to get me to P’Best and now—I am looking after P’—sorry na kah!” she explained everything to me.

Why did he have to drink now? “But P’—you said that P’Gun is there in your apartment na kah?” suddenly her voice changes. She sounds so excited, “It’s good na—I mean—oh no P’Mark—what are you going to do na kah?” am I really going to tell this girl about my problem? But what if she can give me a good advice? “Well—I am not sure too Nong! I don’t think I can calm down na khrab right now—that was why I wanted to ask Best to go here and help me but you said he is out,” I admitted because I am hopeless.

“Well—P’—how about this na kah! I will help you na to survive the night na kah but—you need to make a deal with me na P’!” I close my eyes. Here comes another deal, “Okay na khrab! What do you want?” I asked her before opening my eyes again and still hearing the water running in the bathroom. “Okay na kah P’Mark—I will help you—nope not only me na kah but Nong Heemi and I will help you na kah get thru the night without touching P’Gun na kah so make sure to open your Line na kah—and then all you need to do is to send us updates na P’,” I found my confidence again when I heard that even Nong Heemi will help. She probably knows more on how to handle Ai’Gun right now.

“What—kind of—update na khrab—are we—talking about—Nong?” I asked slowly because I am not sure what kind they want. Nong laughs at the other line, “Update P’Mark—like—are you going out with P’Gun today? Or what are you doing na kah? Or what did you tell him na kah~” only that? That sounds so easy, “Okay! Deal na khrab! Now help—wait Ai’Gun is done changing—message me na khrab! Hurry up!” I suddenly ended the call when I heard the water stopped running.

I put my phone in between my legs and waited for Ai’Gun to come out of the bathroom, “P’MARK NA KHARB!” but I heard a loud shout coming from the bathroom so I kind of panic, “Chai! Ai’Gun! Are you okay?” I asked and stand up as soon as I can, “CHAI P’ BUT—CAN YOU PLEASE GET MY CLOTHES NA KHARB? I FORGOT TO BRING THEM WITH ME P’!! THANK YOU~” he shouted back and suddenly I am chanting all the curses I’ve known in my entire life.

‘My Ai’Gun—you are my walking tempest!’

I sigh before grabbing his backpack. I don’t think I can open it and search for his clothes without imagining weird stuffs again. I run so fast to the bathroom after that, “Ai’Gun?” I knocked on the bathroom door and suddenly he opens it with a small crack, “Ohh—P’Mark—you don’t need to knock na khrab, you can even go in and put it in the sink na khrab—this is your apartment and—” “Nope! I think it’s better like this na Ai’Gun!” I cut his off because the idea of bragging in the bathroom—with him in it—with probably no clothes on will make me crazy.

I didn’t even look at him while talking, “Here!” I said and give him his backpack, “Woie P’Mark! Why did you bring everything na khrab? You can just get my pajama na khrab and bri—” “So that you can have a lot of options on what to wear na Ai’Gun,” I cut him again before running off the living room again. “Will I really survive?” I asked myself before grabbing my phone one more time and finding notifications from my Line application.

I clicked it fast and find a group chat with Nong Heemi and Nong Rina in it. The group chat name is very suggestive, ‘😈😈😈'

Nong Rina: Hello na kah P’Mark~

Nong Heemi: Are you still alive?

P’Mark: I ALMOST DIE!!! THE !! AI’GUN JUST CALLED ME NA KHRAB BECAUSE HE FORGOT HIS CLOTHES NA KHRAB AND THEN TOLD ME NA NONG THAT I CAN ENTER THE BATHROOM BECAUSE THIS IS MY APARTMENT NA KHARB!!!!!

I don’t know if I will still find my sanity after this day. Anyway, I didn’t wait long for their replies.

Nong Heemi: Oh no P’Mark! That must be too much for you na kah~

Nong Rina: Well—seeing your reply now na P’ you probably survived just fine but what if it happens again later? I feel bad for you na kah~

P’Mark: You two aren’t helping at all the khrab! You need to tell me what to do!!

Nong Rina: Okay P’, you need to stay alert na kah! P’Gun isn’t you know—the brightest na kah~

P’Mark: You better watch your words Nong! We are talking about my Ai’Gun!

Nong Heemi: Awww chill na kah P’Mark! What Unnie means to say is that—Gun Gege isn’t good na kah at picking things up so—you need to use that as your advantage na P’. First, don’t let your guard down~

“P’Mark—I am done na khrab~” then I suddenly put my phone down to look at my wife who looks so freaking fresh with his black and yellow pajama, but what I don’t understand is—why did he open so many buttons of his pajama top? “Ahm—Ai’Gun—” I need an escape plan, “Ai’—ahm—you can—make yourself at home na khrab and I will just—ahmm change my clothes too!” I said before running so fast to my room without waiting for his reply. I shut the door as soon as I get in and my breathing is so fast that I think I can hear it already.

“Damn it! Damn it! You need to stay still my heart!” I keep on telling myself because I really need to stay coherent tonight. I cannot afford to do something to my Ai’Gun.

I feel the vibration from my phone that I didn’t notice I run with. So I quickly open the message and curse reading the message.

Nong Heemi: Oh! By the way na kah P’Mark—Gun Gege really likes opening his clothes na kah so be careful—when I asked him before—he told me that he grew up not wearing shirts na kah while sleeping so when he turned 13—Cap Gege and Hyuk Oppa educated him well on wearing clothes while sleeping~

I groan in frustration.

P’Mark: YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME EARLIER NA KHRAB!!!!

I walk back at the living room with a white shirt and black pajama bottom. “Ai’Gun?” I called him because I didn’t see him in the living room, “Woie! P’Mark—I am in the kitchen na khrab but I will be back soon—I am almost done na P’~” he said so I sit down on the floor in the living room and tried to read some of his lectures. I didn’t dare grabbing the music sheets because I cannot read music scores but Ai’Gun has a lot of papers here with lectures so those are the papers that I started reading, “History—okay~” I mumbled while still letting myself indulge in the music world.

I was already in the middle of cuneiform about the oldest known song when I feel Ai’Gun’s presence, “Here P’—we haven’t eaten yet na khrab and I asked you favor na khrab to help me with my papers so I cooked something~” then I put down the lecture and saw a freshly cooked omelet rice in front of me. I look up a bit to see Ai’Gun sitting opposite to me, “I am not sure what to cook na khrab P’Mark but I saw a lot of eggs in the refrigerator na khrab and the easiest to make is omelet rice. I don’t have time to message Ai’Plan too to ask for help on what to cook and I am good at making omelet rice na khrab because Mae khrab taught me how to make that—she said for survival but I don’t know why she told me that because I can always buy something if I am hungry na khrab~”

I don’t know how big my smile is right now but I am sure it’s big. This makes me feel like he is really my wife and I am the husband. He cooks something after the long exhausting day for me, “Thank you khrab Ai’Gun—also—omelet rice na khrab is my favorite but I am really bad at making them so I usually just fry the egg,” I said honestly. I don’t have talent in cooking.

Ai’Gun nods his head, “Then—P’—I can always cook omelet rice for you na khrab~” and that makes my heart pound so fast. This is so unfair because he is attacking me without him knowing about it, “Then—cook for me every day na khrab and P’ will help you with your papers—deal?” I asked him hoping he will say okay, “Deal na khrab, P’~” and so he did.

We both dig in our food while my other hand is busy reading the history again. Ai’Gun also explained what he needed and I’ve never been so amazed by him—not until we started talking about music, “No P’—there are different versions na khrab because in biblical period na khrab—they believed that Jubal was the inventor of the musical instruments so P’—I need to make a paper na khrab supporting the theory about biblical period na khrab that Jubal really made the musical instruments na khrab—but the problem P’—in Thailand—we don’t use Bible na khrab so I don’t know how to start the research na P’~” I understand his problem because it’s really complicated and conflict of interest too with our religion here in Thailand.

I eat and read at the same time, “Hum—are these all the lectures you were able to get na Ai’Gun? How about in the library na khrab or even Bible na khrab? We can read it to find more information—right?” I asked him and every cells in my brain are working perfectly tonight. As long as Ai’Gun will not tempt me then we are good, “Well P’—” then suddenly I feel a warm breath just near my neck.

‘Dam it! I shouldn’t speak too soon!’

Then Ai’Gun put his left hand on my shoulder and his other hand is busy pointing something on the paper that I am holding, “Look here na P’—Jubal na khrab was mention in the book of Hebrew and Genesis na khrab so I tried reading it a bit and found out that he was a descendant na khrab of Cain. Now—the interesting part na P’ is that he believed to play the harp na khrab and flute…” honestly—I don’t get whatever Ai’Gun is saying right now because his voice so close and his breath this hot—how can I focus?

I sigh before putting the papers down and standing up, “Ahm—I will get water first~” I said before escaping again. This time I bring my phone again and run off to the kitchen to seriously get some water while tapping on my phone.

Nong Rina: P’ are you still okay?

Nong Heemi: He will be fine!

Nong Rina: But he isn’t replying already na Nong! Do you think—he is eating P’Gun already?

Nong Heemi: Omo! Then we need video na kah~

P’Mark: Sorry to pop all the bubbles but the only thing I am eating right now is Ai’Gun’s omelet rice.

Nong Rina: WOW! P’Gun cooked for you P’Mark?

P’Mark: Chia!

Nong Heemi: So sweet na kah~

P’Mark: But I have a problem—Ai’Gun keeps on moving closer to me na khrab and I don’t think I will be able to survive if he will keep on doing that.

Nong Rina: Yikes! That sounds like a problem na P’Mark—but how about this na kah—you just need to focus more on making his papers na kah! You normally work a lot right P’? So why don’t you drown yourself with the papers and research and stuff and don’t mind P’Gun? That way—you can help him and you can avoid him!

Nong Heemi: WOW UNNIE!!! SO JJANG!!!!

[jjang – cool or good in Korean]

P’Mark: Woie! It makes sense! Thank you na khrab~

I pour water on the glasses before going back to the living room. Ai’Gun is busy reading the other lectures he has because he needs to finish two papers, “Here Ai’,” I called out his attention. Ai’Gun grabs the glass that I am offering to him before smiling at me, “Thank you P’~”

I sit down again and put my glass of water near my omelet rice, “Hum—Ai’Gun,” I called him without looking at him, “Chia, P’~” so I only heard his reply. I turn to the next page, “How about this na khrab—P’ will keep on doing this paper about Jubal na khrab and then try to make a summary for you na khrab after I finish so that you can make your paper out of it na khrab and you can focus on Ludwig Van Bethoven na khrab—so that we can finish both tonight,” I explained to him the most efficient way on finishing his paper and also a way for me to avoid thinking about him.

“Humm—okay na khrab P’Mark but if you have questions na khrab you can ask me—” “Khrab!” “And also P’—please finish your food first na khrab,” and the tug in my heart is back once again. I sigh before putting the papers down and grabbing the meal in front of me, “I am eating~” I said while trying to finish my food because Ai’Gun is eyeing me so well. He smiles as soon as he sees me eating and he also grab his own plate and started eating.

I am getting confused with the terms on this lecture so I also keep on searching about it on my laptop while typing the information I have about this lecture. It looks like this biblical history is too tough so I am glad that I am helping Ai’Gun right now. As for Ai’Gun, he is busy typing too and reading at the same time. He looks so captivating when he is serious—just like when I first saw him on stage—the reason why I am head over heels to him right now.

“P’Mark?” He called me but I didn’t response because I am so indulged on the information that I am reading, “Is it okay na khrab if I borrow an undershirt na khrab?” I look at him and saw that he loss another button on his pajama top. He is also sweating so much that the trail of his sweat coming from his neck down to his chest is visible already on his pajama top. I gulp—because I thought we are done with this, “Ahm—undershirt—ahm—you—you can go in the room na khrab on the right—” “P’~ go with me na khrab—I don’t know which one to get~” but he cut me off and whined like a cute baby.  

I really want to decline by I found myself standing up, “Come on na Ai’Gun~” and telling him those words. I am dead for sure after this night. Ai’Gun stands up and I lead the way towards the closet. I open the door and the lights before letting him in first, “Wow! P’Mark! You have a lot of clothes na khrab!” he scans the closet and run his fingers at random things inside while I am busy looking for undershirt already so that we can go out already and freaking finish his papers.

“P’, why do you have a lot of clothes?” He asked me curiously while I am busy pulling the shirt out of the cabinet, “Well—I like fashion na khrab,” I answered still, “I also like fashion na khrab but I can’t buy a lot of clothes because there’s no space in our cabinet na khrab and Ai’Cap don’t like it when there are many things in our cabinet so I tried not to buy a lot of things na khrab,” I successfully get one undershirt while Ai’Gun is telling me a story. I turn around only to quickly turn around again, “Ai’Gun! Why aren’t you wearing your top anymore?!?” I asked him half shocked and half mad—not mad at him but mad for myself because I only saw his upper body for 5 seconds I think but I am already thinking of trailing my fingers all over it.

I heard his heavy footsteps and pray that he won’t go near me, “Well—P’—it will be faster na khrab to change if I remove the clothes already right? We also need to go back fast na khrab to finish my papers,” he reasoned out but his reason isn’t good enough to stop my imagination. Instead of turning around again, I put the undershirt on the vanity table, “You can—change it here na khrab Ai’Gun—I’ll just go back to the living room—just turn off the lights and close the door after~” and I did the best possible way a grown up guy will do in front of his half crush—I run away.

I didn’t look back or even close the door—I simply run away without waiting for any response from Ai’Gun. By now he might think that I am weird and the cool P’Mark in his head is already gone but this is better than enduring at least a minute inside that room with my Ai’Gun half .

I grab my phone again and found some messages. Before I read the messages, I change the nicknames of these girls in case someone will see the notification on my phone.

Demon Baby [Heemi]: So what will we do if Gun Gege jumps on P’Mark?

Demon Lady [Rina]: I don’t think P’ will do that—I am more concern of P’Mark jumping on P’Gun.

Demon Baby: You haven’t slept with P’Gun!

P’Mark: THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG!

Demon Baby: I didn’t mean any harm P’Mark—I just mean sleeping and not doing anything!

Demon Lady: You are so possessive na kah P’~

P’Mark: I am!

Demon Lady: Anyway, are you still okay? Did you finish the papers na kah? It’s almost midnight na khrab~

Demon Baby: Well it’s midnight here already in Korea na kah~

P’Mark: I almost messed up na khrab! I was in the closet just now with Ai’Gun and he wanted to change into an undershirt. He was sweating so much so I led him the way and grabbed a clean undershirt for him na khrab only to find him half already!

Demon Lady: WOW! Did you take a picture?

Demon Baby: Or a video na kah?

P’Mark: Do I look crazy na khrab to both of you? Of course not! Now! All I want is to survive the night!

Demon Lady: Okay P’ remember to breathe in and out!

And so I did. I might look like a crazy person right now but at least I am not—well let’s pray that I will not go crazy tonight.

P’Mark: Okay na khrab! Done!

Demon Baby: Now P’—all you need to do is to finish the paper. Again, don’t mind Gun Gege for tonight—if he needs something then help him but after that continue your work. Once you finish you can sleep already—if you want sleep first na kah!!

P’Mark: Can I really ignore Ai’Gun?

Demon Baby: YOU NEED YO TRY P’MARK!!

Demon Lady: Su su na P’Mark~

[su su – fighting in Thai]

I sigh in relief the moment I finished the summary of Ai’Gun’s paper. I’ve never had a hard time making papers before—not until I started making this paper. Not because the research was impossible to make but because of the presence of my Ai’Gun. He keeps on asking me a lot of things. Asking help for something that he doesn’t understand. He even moved so close to me that our elbows are touching each other already—but I did my best to control myself.

I don’t remember how many times I inhale and exhale but definitely a lot. I tried to ignore him as much as possible but still help him when he needed help and finally—I am done. “How many pages left for your paper na khrab Ai’Gun?” I asked him when I saw the frown on his forehead. He looks so serious typing on his laptop, “Only few more na khrab P’ but—can you please find the page with Beethoven’s deafness na khrab? I don’t remember what year it started na P’,” he said but he didn’t even look at me. I am not complaining though because I really love seeing his serious face.

I started reading the scattered papers on the floor trying to find the specific topic he wanted. “Wolfgang na khrab—Claude Debussy—Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky na khrab—Lud—BINGO!” I said loudly when I found the certain artist we are looking for.

I crawl back near him, “there is a part there P’ with his letters he wrote that the doctor started reading na khrab—can you please find it?” He asked me again nicely but he is still too focused on his laptop so I guess this time it will be easier for me to focus on the lecture rather than Ai’Gun.

I quickly scan the paper trying to find what he needed as much as possible, “Okay—ahm—It says here na Ai’ that according to Doctor Marage, who has studied Beethoven’s letters na khrab, buzzing noises and other sounds started around 1796 na khrab—when it started in 1796—around 1801 na khrab 60% of his hearing was gone already—then around 1816 he was completely deaf.” I stated the information slowly to let him digest all of the information well.

I look intensely at the paper in case I missed some parts. When I am sure that I didn’t miss anything, I quickly turn to Ai’Gun only to find his face so close to me—like 5 inches away from me, “Woie!” I exclaimed and quickly jolt back because of the sudden closeness, “Aww—did I scare you na khrab P’? Sorry—I was also trying to read what you were reading na kharb~” he said before grabbing the paper from my hands and I am still petrified on the spot.

‘That was dangerous Ai’Gun!!!!’

He continue his work as if nothing happened and I am still shocked to even move a muscle, “Ahm P’—I am almost done na khrab. I will just write the paper for your research in University P’—so you can go to the bedroom already and I will follow na khrab after this,” he said to me and suddenly the most dreadful time of the day will happen soon. I didn’t say anything; instead I stand up and walk in normal phase towards my bedroom.

When I reached my bedroom, I quickly open the door, turn on the lights, and shut the door close while I am leaning on the back of the door breathing heavily, “Think Mark! You are smart na khrab! You need to think!” I mumbled to myself before feeling the vibration of my phone. That was when I remember I have my reinforcement.

Demon Baby: P’—I am sleepy na kah—it’s already 4am in Korea na P’—I am sorry but I need to sleep now~

Demon Lady: Awwww Nong—go sleep already~

Demon Baby: Good morning na kah~ Tell me what happen tomorrow~

P’Mark: Sorry for making you stay up late na kharb Nong!

Demon Lady: Aww P’ you are back! Are you done?

P’Mark: I am done na khrab and Ai’Gun is almost done—but I don’t know what to do after! He told me to go to the bedroom already na khrab and he will follow after!!! THE !! I AM PANICKING NA KHRAB!!!

Demon Baby: Okay before I sleep na P’—I will give you guild lines na khrab on how to make Gun Gege sleep—or close to that.

Demon Lady: WOW NONG! HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU SLEEP WITH P’GUN AND P’CAP?

P’Mark: Can we not use the word sleep na khrab because it’s driving me crazy!

Demon Baby: Chill P’! Anyway—we did have a lot of sleepovers na khrab so I sort of understand some of their sleeping patterns na khrab. Now, with Gun Gege—all you need to do P’ is….

I lay still on the bed with Ai’Gun on the other side. Like what Nong Heemi said, I didn’t put anything in between us because Ai’Gun is used to sleeping with Ai’Cap so he will not move a lot. I am like on the edge of the bed already and only the lamp beside me is the source of light that we have right now.

“I am happy na khrab P’Mark because P’ helped me today. I know that I asked too much from P’ today but I don’t know who to ask any more if P’ says no to me~” Ai’Gun said and I look at him for a while. He is looking at the ceiling though you cannot see anything. As Ai’Gun asked before, why my room is pitch black? I love black so much, “I am also glad na khrab Ai’Gun—because—I was able to help you,” I said thought I must admit that helping him today was the hardest kind of favor I did for him.

His normal breathing is echoing inside my room, “P’—” “hum?” “What did you like about P’Best before?” I seriously move a bit closer to him to see if he is serious. He is serious—he is looking back at me by this point, “Well—this is serious na khrab Ai’Gun—I didn’t know that you will ask me this,” I laugh to hide my nervousness. I don’t want this kind of conversation right now—not inside my room and not with Ai’Gun lying just a meter away from me.

“I don’t know actually na khrab P’ how to ask you because Ai’Cap told me na khrab that I should try to no ask many personal questions to people na khrab—so in return P’—you can ask me anything na khrab~” I wonder where he gets his energy because I am so exhausted already with all the running and avoiding him. I sigh and decided to just tell him the truth, “Well—Best and I started dating na khrab in high school na Ai’. That time—Best understands me the most—my weird personality na khrab and my mood swings na khrab. I thought that Best and I were good for each other na khrab—but we were so young Ai’—so when his parents said that we cannot be together—we tried fighting for it na khrab—but realized that they were right. Best needs to go to different university na khrab and so did I—we broke up after that—because we don’t want to hold back each other na khrab for the things that we wanted for our future,” this is the first time I tell this story to someone because I am so afraid to admit that I wasn’t strong enough that time to fight for my relationship with Best—but that’s probably a blessing in disguise. If Best and I stayed in the relationship—then I won’t fall for Ai’Gun.

In my entire story, Ai’Gun just stared back at me and continuously blinking his eyes, “Then P’—do you want to be together with P’Best again because you broke up before na khrab?” I can’t help but smile. He is attacking me with questions that I know for a fact I won’t tell anyone before. I sigh and put my arm under my head to make a pillow, “Well—I wasn’t sure na khrab Ai’Gun. Actually—maybe I just wanted na khrab to do things right before na khrab—because both of us wasn’t able to keep our relationship. When I started in university na khrab—I realized that it’s not the time that we don’t have na khrab—but it’s the feelings na khrab. Our feelings for each other Ai’—wasn’t enough and wasn’t strong enough that was why we broke up before,” and maybe I did get hurt when we broke up but that is part of loving someone.

For good 30 seconds, Ai’Gun just stared at me. He’s eyes looks so serious, “P’Mark—I will not say this again—but if you don’t really love P’Best anymore na khrab—then you should not be in a relationship with him anymore.” I am glad to hear those words from Ai’Gun because I don’t want to confuse him anymore. I just want to follow what Ai’August told me and use my heart rather than my brain.

I smile, “you are right na khrab Ai’Gun—” and I turn to look at the ceiling, “I shouldn’t be with him na khrab if I don’t love him anymore—” I want to do things right, “But what about you Ai’?” This is now or never, “Do you love me na khrab?” and there I said it.

I waited for his response and honestly I am going to die of anticipation—but I didn’t hear any, “Ai’Gun?” I called out to him before turning to his side only to find his peaceful face with his eyes close and with his continues breathing, “You really like wrong timing na khrab Ai’Gun,” I mumbled before finally moving closer to him to tuck some lose ends of his hair behind his ears, “Fan dee na khrab—Ai’Gun—phom rak khun~”

[phom rak khun – I love you]

THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU MARK FOR NOT TOUCHING GUN HAHAHAHHAHA