34: Mianhae Hyukkie

Calm Down Tiger

 

Hyuk’s POV

 

I saw my youngest brother kissing someone in the middle of the road during Songkran festival. How should I react? Do I even need to say something? Ai’Cap might think that I am being unfair to him because I am being strict but I am not. I have all the reasons in the world why I don’t want him to date this young guy sitting in our living room.

 

“Here, drink some water first,” Hae put down a pitcher of water on the table here in the living room with 2 glasses. We arrived five minutes ago but Ai’Cap wasn’t speaking nor this guy sitting beside him. On our way home, Ai’Cap was calling Ai’Gun so I guess this will only start when Ai’Gun is here.

 

I am just glad that Hae is here to calm me down especially when I saw my brother just now. I didn’t say anything—all I want right now is to know how did this happen? I am also glad that Mae and Pa are not here or else they will get involve. I am the oldest; I should be the one educating my brothers.

 

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Ai’Cap shaking a bit and I feel bad—I really do but this isn’t right. “What is your name?” I heard Hae’s soft voice and I am really thankful that he is doing all the talking right now. The guy sitting beside my brother wai awkwardly at my boyfriend, “Nawat Phumphothingam, khrab P’. You can all me White, na khrab,” he also sounds so awkward. I don’t want to judge him but honestly I am judging him already.

 

I follow Hae’s actions. He sits beside that Nong White, “Nice to meet you White. I don’t know if I should be saying this but—you are~” “Khrab, Cap’s boyfriend na—P’,” the kid took a quick glance of me. I sigh but sigh deeper when I heard a loud noise coming from the front yard. I am sure that Ai’Gun is here. It’s better that he is here so that he can also educate our brother.

 

In no time, the front door opens reviling Ai’Gun who’s still dripping wet. Hae quickly run inside the house while Ai’Gun looks at everyone, “P’Hyuk~” he called my name and all I can do is to gesture my hand so that he will stand beside me, “Khrab~” he said before actually walking towards me and somehow, Ai’Cap looks less tense now. I sigh before speaking, “I don’t want to make this harder—what happened?” I have my serious voice already. I want to intimidate this kid that announced that he is my youngest brother’s boyfriend.

“Here, cover up yourself,” Hae suddenly went back running while handing a towel to Ai’Gun. I can’t help but still smile because Hae is taking good care of my family. Ai’Gun quickly wai at him, “Thank you, P’,” and said a quick thank you. But going back to business, “I will explain it khrab—P’,” this Nong White has back bone already. He bravely volunteered and all I did is nod. He sighs, “I’ve been in love with Captain—for two years na khrab P’. I didn’t have any courage to talk to him before and even tried to approach him until opportunity came khrab. My friend sort of made a bridge na khrab so that I can join the dinner party for Ai’Cap and Ai’Gun’s dinner party after performance—” I hate it—I hate how he takes glances at my brother while talking, “I grabbed the opportunity P’ to talked to Captain and somehow he got so irritated na khrab about my persistency.” What I hate most, my brother looks lovingly at him too.

 

I tap my foot on the floor, “He tried to avoid me na khrab after some weeks but I guess Cap—already has feelings—for me because he talked to me after a week. Then—I don’t know na P’ how to called our relationship before. We called each other, we knew each other’s schedule, we even eat together every lunch break—but Cap didn’t define our relationship na khrab—until you arrived and Cap got so scared na P’ so he asked me to wait for a while. Then—he saw me with my Nong at university and he got jealous na P’ and I confronted him and yeah—we’ve been dating na khrab for only few days—P’.” My hands are already forming a fist especially after hearing the last part, “Don’t make this hard for both of you—break up already!” I announced which makes Ai’Cap to stand up.

 

“P’!” he protested but I only stared back at him, “Please Ai’Cap, I am begging you. If you both will break up right now, then this will be less painful na khrab for both of you,” I stand firm on my decision and in the future, I know that Ai’Cap will thank me. His eyes look so hurt, “P’Gun—” but he called out Ai’Gun’s name and then I saw my other brother looking displeased at me.

 

‘What? Did I do something wrong?’

Ai’Gun walks toward Ai’Cap suddenly, “P’ khrab—” he said before facing me and he’s on Ai’Cap’s side now. Ai’Cap quickly grabs his hand, “Look P’—I am not trying to say that Ai’Cap is right for having a relationship with Ai’White—na khrab,” I can’t help but raise my eyebrows. “Wow—so it looks like Ai’Gun is close to this Nong too,” I let out a very sarcastic comment. I expect more from Ai’Gun—maybe I expect more to Ai’Cap but I know that Ai’Gun is a very good older brother—maybe much better than me—but what’s this?

 

Ai’Gun shakes his head, “P’, listen to me first. Of course, I knew Ai’White. He has been around for quite some time na khrab and I’ve seen how Ai’Cap changed because of Ai’. P’—do you want Ai’Cap to be sad?” My heart tugs at the question, “Why? Why are looking at me right now like I am the bad person here, Ai’Gun?”

 

I didn’t know that Ai’Gun can look at me like this—like he is so disappointed at me, “Because P’, can’t you see na khrab? Ai’Cap is in love and we should not restrict him to be in love. Didn’t you say before na P’ that love shouldn’t be complicated? That when you love someone—you should be proud about it na P’? Then why are you against about Ai’Cap and Ai’White?” his voice keeps on getting higher and higher. But I am so hurt. How can Ai’Gun looks at me like I am a very unreasonable person?

 

‘I thought we were on the same boat Ai’Gun.’

 

I walk so fast towards them but Ai’Gun didn’t even blink while Ai’Cap looks so scared, “You don’t have the rights Ai’Gun—to question why I am against their relationship because you don’t know na khrab what happened to me just to be with Hae!” emotions are rising and I know Heechul Hyung and Heemi cannot understand the conversation happening right now but Hae can—I don’t want to say this because I know that Hae can understand.

 

Ai’Cap decided it’s time for him to say something and his boyfriend is also standing beside him, “Then why didn’t you let us understand P’? If you will keep it all inside na khrab, how will we understand you P’? How will we know?” he is close to crying. I remember how much I hate making my brothers cry while growing up but now—I am the one making them upset. Somehow, I am starting to hate myself.

 

“Hyukkie~” then I know it will be okay when Hae holds my hand tightly like he is telling me to let it all go. I take a long sharp inhale before opening my mouth, “You might both think that your P’ is such a great person, right? Have great job in Korea. Has a good boyfriend like your P’Hae—but that’s all not true. I’ve lost my status as the head hazer na khrab in Korea. I was a failure that people bullied me there because I am Thai and I don’t speak Korean very well na khrab. Chai—I have the brain na khrab to compete with people but this—” I pointed at my chest, “The ego is eating me inside na khrab. ‘What happened to you Hyuk? Why are you letting them talk to you like that? Aren’t you the scary head hazer in Engineering before?’ but you know na khrab—I set them aside because your P’ wants to give you both a good education—so that I can go back to Thailand na soon and find a job here and not in Korea anymore. Your P’Heechul—he helped me with everything but the reason why your P’Hyuk was able to endure everything is because of your P’Hae—” painful memories keep on getting in my head right now.

 

My brothers listen carefully to me, “I did everything na khrab for our family and my only conciliation price is probably having your P’Hae. His love—our love saved me in Korea. But Ai’Gun—Ai’Cap—having a homoual relationship in a homophobic country na khrab isn’t easy. I know—I know it’s accepting here in Thailand—but I don’t want Ai’Cap to experience what I experienced in Korea. I don’t want society to look at you na khrab like you are committing a crime just by being with a guy. I don’t want people to call you with names and you will feel so bad that you wanted to just disappear because people are telling you that your love is wrong. Because Ai’Cap—all I want is to protect you—to protect both of you na khrab and not to be the antagonist here.” I don’t want them to hate me, “I am doing my part na khrab as your brother and I am so mad right now na khrab because I cannot prevent things from happening. I am mad at Ai’Cap for being in a relationship like this, mad at Ai’Gun for knowing something but not stopping it, but above all—I am more mad at myself for not being there for you Ai’Cap to prevent things from happening—” “P’ I am not regretting anything,” but Ai’Cap cut me.

 

I close my eyes as I inhale sharply again, “Ai’Cap—please—for once—listen to your P’,” I don’t want to raise my voice. I don’t want both of them to feel more scared of me and Hae is also here. I don’t want Hae to see me lose control, “We understand na khrab P’ your reason and we are also sad that we weren’t there when you experienced all of those things P’—but P’—you don’t need to live in the dark past. We can all make everyone happy na P’ and Ai’Cap will be able to be happy na P’ if you will just—” “AI’GUN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY NA KHRAB?” but I’ve lost it. For the first time, I’ve raised my voice to my brothers. For the first time, I see horror in their eyes. For the first time, they both look upset at me.

 

I heard a faint sound coming from the corner but I didn’t dare to look at that side, “Hyukkie~” Hae called me but it’s too late to go back again, “SHIYA!! AM I NOT MAKING SENSE ANYMORE? I AM NOT BEING HARD TO AI’CAP, I AM TRYING TO PROTECT YOU AI’ BUT YOU ARENT LISTENING TO P’. CHAI—SOME PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND—AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR BROTHER ALREADY UNDERSTAND YOU—BUT NOT EVERYONE. SOON AI’ WHEN YOU GO OUT OF THE REAL WORLD NA KHRAB—YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY. SOCIENTY IS VERY SCARY AND P’ IS TRYING TO PREVENT THINGS FROM HAPPENING TO YOU!” and suddenly I feel a harsh pull and see a much bigger picture.

 

Hae with his eyes full of tears pulled me just to look at him and in the corner, Heemi is also crying hard while Heechul Hyung is trying to console her. Do you know what I hate about myself? When I get mad, there’s no way I will back out. I know that Hae doesn’t like the way I look at him but if he loves me—he should understand that this is me and he should embrace every bit of my personality, “You don’t—need to shout at—your brother—Hyukkie—they are scared already.” Did he also think that I am the bad person here?

 

I didn’t blink my eyes, “I need to—” “Hyukkie—they are your—brothers. Why can’t you—be supportive to—them? Why can’t—you see that the reason—why Ai’Cap hides—this from you—is because he is—afraid of you? I am—also afraid that—you will react like—this,” aside from his hiccups and sobbing, I think I am more hurt of what I’ve just heard from him. Suddenly all my defenses are gone. The wall I’ve built during my stay in Korea got broken into pieces, “Are you—telling me Hae—that you know?” I want him to say no, I want him to deny—even if it’s just a lie—I don’t want him to admit.

 

Hae’s tears drop again, “Neh—I know,” and I know why world crash now when the person you trusted the most betray you. There’s no such thing as perfect love story—Hae and I—this is our difference, “Hae—how—” “Mianhae Hyukkie—I don’t want you—to get mad—but I also feel bad—for them,” he is a crying mess. I love him—I really do—but why does it hurt looking at him now?

 

For the first time in a long time, my eyes start to shed tears. I’ve been strong enough in Korea. Strong enough for my family. But I didn’t know that this person standing in front of me will hurt me this much, “Lee Donghae—” and his name doesn’t make my hear flutter now, “YOU DO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY BROTHERS RIGHT?—SO—SO—YOU DON’T HAVE—YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHTS—TO EDUCATE MY BROTHERS—BECAUSE THEY ARE—MY BROTHERS!” and I know I will regret this in the future, raising my voice on him.

 

‘Hae—my Hae—how can you do this? How can you betray me?’

 

“Umma~” Heemi cry louder and Heechul hugs her now and probably everyone inside the room thinks that I am such a horrible person. “P’Hyuk—I am sorry for intervening—but I don’t think it’s right for you to also shout at P’Donghae. He is just trying to help us and—” wrong move kid. I quickly turn to face this brave boyfriend of my brother, “WHAT?” I asked him again but he looks so determined and Ai’Cap looks so scared, “White—don’t,” he whispered but this Nong doesn’t even blink at me, “You love him—right P’? Then why do you need to hurt him?” He asked me again and this time I know—no one is on my side.

 

Hyuk—they abandoned you—everyone. With one quick move, I grab this Nong’s t-shirt and ready my fist to punch him. Everyone in the room starts to panic especially Ai’Cap who is pulling his boyfriend while crying and Hae who is hugging my waist crying and begging me to stop. “I am the bad guy—right? So be it!” I said before a loud bang from the door happened and Heemi’s loud voice echoes inside the house, “AHHHPPPPPAAAA!!!!!”

 


 

MORE DRAMA TO COME!!!!

 

 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
lunaticJTW
#1
I CAN'T BELIVE I'LL FIBD A STORY LIKE THIS WHOA
mennie68
#2
Chapter 126: Whoa that turn of events wow thats a lot now and more action too,i really admire more of mark character,his like a younger version of hyuk as for my opinion ;) ❤✌
mennie68
#3
Chapter 120: Oh wow now they have a deal,and done so well yay❤✌
mennie68
#4
Chapter 107: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/1400216/107'>104: Babe, Baby, Love, or...</a></span>
Lol so much bout hyuk behaviour towards his brothers boyfriends :)) :)) awww so cute and sweet mark❤gun

♡o。.(✿ฺ。✿ฺ)

(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡
sweety23 #5
Chapter 104: I saw the notification from Wattpad so I already read it and voted there. MarkGun is together now and they were amazing in facing Gun's family. Can't wait for their sweet moments ?
sweety23 #6
Chapter 103: I read the whole chapter 3 times for everything to sink in. Then I was left speechless and I thought I'm going crazy talking to myself trying to tell myself to stop crying coz I'm at my cousin's bday party and I probably look stupid ahahaha...

I don't know what to feel anymore, I want to cry and laugh ahahahaha... This is just too much for my heart. I need to calm down then go home and re-read from chapter 1 ahahahaha... I was actually planing to do that this weekend so goodluck to me!

Thank you for this update! Wwwwaaaaahhhhhhaaaa.... I'm just so happy & thankful! ???
sweety23 #7
Chapter 102: What are these two playing at??? I just hope that no one will get hurt with this.... I don't really like Best but by the end of it all, he just love Mark and want a second chance but it's too late and he's just a bit stupid...
sweety23 #8
Chapter 101: I'm excited for MarkGun... Can't wait for Friday!!! Mimi is also here, he really fits a hairdresser role, such a diva ahahaha... Hae is such a swetie, this whole family are very unassuming, they're not aware of their good looks lol
sweety23 #9
Chapter 100: Mark is on his own... Better work hard and start soon, there's a long list of people to please... Misunderstandings like this is also healthy for a relationship, their love will strengthen once they get out of this mess... #StayStongMarkGun