Gun’s POV

The day ends without even seeing my brother in the campus. I didn’t try messaging him because maybe he is with Ai’White and I may be interrupting their date or something. What I’ve learned about hanging out with my friends (Ai’Plan, Ai’Title, Ai’Toptap) that have boyfriends was that—to never ever interrupt their dates. I did it once with Ai’Plan and I heard Ai’Mean was groaning from the other line. I asked Ai’Plan where he was but he said he was on a home date with Ai’Mean which I still don’t understand why they stayed at home when they can go to the mall—but yeah the next day—Ai’Mean was glaring with me.

I arrived back home around 7:15pm because I hang out at the rehearsal room trying to memorized the new song and chords but I didn’t see either Ai’Cap or Ai’Toptap but I saw Ai’Gunsmile looking so worried roaming outside the rehearsal room. At home, I saw Nong Heemi at the living room reading something—maybe her book in school but she was giggling and sometimes screaming a little. I wonder what kind of educational book can make you so excited like that.

At the second floor, I heard P’Heechul’s voice so loud while complaining something about Heemi’s Pa not being able to answer the call fast or something. I wonder what kind of husband he has that he was able to keep up with P’Heechul. No offense but P’Heechul is worse than Mae when she’s mad at Pa.

So in short, I was left here in my room without Ai’Cap because he is busy with his boyfriend—I think. “Well Gun—this is your life now na khrab. You will be a third wheel in everyone now! You should find a lover soon na woie~” I reminded myself feeling upset that everyone around me are happy about their relationship.

I don’t really believe in relationship and I think it’s just a waste of time to be committed with someone but seeing happy people around me is very irritating. Ai’Plan and Ai’Mean are always looking after each other—especially Ai’Whipped Mean who can do whatever Ai’Plan wants. Another irritating couple is Ai’Title and Ai’Cooheart. You may see Ai’Title as a cool silent person but believe me—when Ai’Cooheart is around—he can embarrass himself just to make him happy. Then we also have Ai’Toptap and Ai’Gunsmile who are love sick fool with each other. Every performance I can see Ai’Gunsmile smiling like an idiot—cheering for Ai’Toptap. At first, we were so embarrassed by his out of these world actions but after a while—we got used to it. And finally—my brother. My poor innocent brother—I cannot believe that he has a boyfriend now. They’ve only known each other for 1 month—more than one month. How can he commit himself that fast?

What I am trying to say—does he even know Ai’White that much? Ai’Mean courted Ai’Plan for 2 years—2 freaking years. Ai’Toptap and Ai’Gunsmile knew each other since high school, and Ai’Title and Ai’Cooheart were childhood friends. How can Ai’Cap be so sure about a person he just knew for 1 month?

I sit straight on my bed while shaking my head, “Does my brother even like him that much? When Ai’Plan and Ai’Mean fight—Ai’Plan always sound so broken—what if they fight too? Am I ready to hear Ai’Cap so hurt?” I asked myself because there’s no one to talk to right now.

I was thinking so hard when suddenly someone knock on the door.

‘It’s definitely not Ai’Cap~’

“Come in na khrab~” I said while fixing my sitting position. I expect P’Hyuk or Mae but it was P’Donghae. He smiles at me, “Am I not interrupting you Gun?” He asked me and all I can do is shake my head.

Another couple is my P’Hyuk and his lovely wife P’Donghae. My brother said he courted P’Donghae for a year I think before they got together. See my brother probably knew P’Donghae rather than Ai’Cap. That boy and I need to have a long serious talk. Anyway, P’Donghae closed the door again and sits at the edge Ai’Cap’s bed.

“Is there something I can do for you, P’?” I asked him politely. After my conversation with him the other day, I can’t help but feel awkward with him. I know that he won’t tell P’Hyuk because he promised me but somehow, I cannot really look at him straight in the face without feeling shy. P’ sighs, “We were in your university yesterday, right?” He said softly. It feels like he is talking to a child, “Chai, P’,” I replied. P’ bit his lower lips before saying, “Your brother heard someone talking about you and Captain in the bathroom.” My heart suddenly speeds up.

I shifted towards P’Donghae, “I tried to—you know distract your brother by acting clingy and jealous but I don’t know if it will be effective again next time Gun. I am so worried about you and Captain and I know your brother feels more worried about you and Captain. I don’t want him to know this issue by other people that’s why I keep on insisting him to wait until one of you will tell what’s happening. You know your brother more than I do, Gun. If he finds out about your issue—in the most undesirable way—he will tick off. He will definitely get mad—so please—I am begging you—explain it to him.” I feel bad so suddenly. P’Donghae’s relationship with P’Hyuk suddenly came in our problem. I don’t want them to fight just because of us.

I smile at him, “Thank you P’ khrab. To be honest, Ai’Cap and I were so anxious yesterday when we saw Nong Heemi. I know that soon P’ will have an idea so I’ll talk to Ai’Cap later when he arrived. We will plan on how to tell it to P’Hyuk—especially now~”

‘Ai’Cap, I love you so much and I can do anything for you but why do you need to be with Ai’White now? You have a very wrong timing na khrab!’

After talking to P’Donghae, my urge to talk to Ai’Cap becomes higher. I wasn’t really able to talk to him last night because he looked like he was in cloud nine but today—I will definitely talk to him.

I already changed into my pajama when Ai’Cap arrived around 7:57pm. He didn’t say a thing and he looks quiet sad, “Ai’, are you okay?” I asked him because aside from looking so sad, he keeps on sighing. Ai’ pull the chair on our study table, “P’ khrab—what can you say about having a relationship?” this is too sudden. I also pull the other chair and sit opposite to him, “I think na khrab that I am too young to know about relationship. Besides, I don’t really have any idea about relationship na woie.” I answered with all honestly.

Ai’Cap sighs again, “I think—people who are in a relationship are happy na P’. They always have that crazy smile on their lips and also they are so in love na khrab which makes me envious before. I like hearing good love stories P’ but I hate sad endings,” today is only their first day, are they fighting already? “Did something happen between you and Ai’White?” I suddenly asked him which makes him glare at me.

‘Calm down Ai’Cap! I am just asking na woie~’

“P’—White and I are happy with each other na khrab so this matter isn’t about us!” He sounds so mad—I didn’t even do anything wrong. This is so unfair, “Listen P’, sometimes couples face some difficulties along their relationship khrab.” I nod instead of speaking. He might get mad at me again, “Have P’Mean and P’Plan fought before?” Ai’s questions are out of nowhere.

I nod, “Chai—they did. Sometimes I am the middle person. You know—when Ai’Plan doesn’t want to talk na khrab, I need to pass down the message to Ai’Mean—but they never really have a big problem na Ai’ and usually their fights are because—Ai’Mean forgot their date or Ai’Plan called Ai’Mean in the middle of his class na khrab—very simple.” And many more small problems that sounds so unreasonable already.

My brother sits up straight, “P’, what do you think about Ai’Toptap and Ai’Gunsmile’s relationship?” Is this really the time to talk about other couples? I want to talk about him and Ai’White, “Ai’Toptap? Well at first, to be honest, I was so shocked na khrab that he is dating Ai’Childish. Their personalities are too far off from each other na woie. I don’t have any idea about them but I guess seeing Ai’Gunsmile’s undying devotion to Ai’Toptap—I realized na khrab that you don’t need to have something in common with your lover because if you love each other—then you can disregard your difference na khrab.” That is my honest opinion about them.

For the first time, Ai’Cap smiles at me, “Chai P’—that’s what I am trying to explain na khrab to Ai’Toptap. Actually P’ today, I was in Ai’Toptap’s house. He is having a big fight with Ai’Gunsmile—” I hissed loudly which makes my brother stop, “Chai P’—those two are fighting na khrab so I needed to be there for Ai’Toptap. Ai’ also thinks that Ai’Gunsmile doesn’t love him enough P’. I am just curious P’, how can Ai’Toptap be sure that Ai’Gunsmile doesn’t love him the way he loves him?” I was never interested in other people’s love story but I am aware of Ai’Plan’s story. This is probably the first time that I will hear something about Ai’Toptap which I always think is a happy couple.

I grab Ai’Cap’s shoulders, “I don’t have experience when it comes to relationship Ai’—but I do know that when someone feels insecure na khrab—it will continue to grow. For example, Ai’Plan is still uncertain about Ai’Mean. They look so loving—right? But Ai’Plan is still bothered about what happened to them before na khrab. Ai’Plan told me that no matter how many days passed or even years na khrab—that feeling will still be there but Ai’Mean is doing his best to make him feel secure na Ai’. Maybe—just maybe, Ai’Toptop doesn’t have that feeling. If he loves Ai’Gunsmile, he will never hold back and give everything to him—chai?” Ai’ nods at me, “Because he isn’t afraid Ai’Cap while on the other hand—Ai’Gunsmile probably doesn’t usually show too much affection na khrab making Ai’Toptap to feel insecure about his feelings. The best way to make this problem solve is to talk to each other. Ai’Gunsmile looks so in love with Ai’Toptap and maybe Ai’Toptap was too overwhelm with his own feelings for Ai’ that he cannot see his boyfriend’s love for him.” Where did I get all of those words? I am not sure. Maybe listening to Ai’Plan’s endless stories, complains, and dilemmas actually helped me out today.

I pat his shoulder after, “You need to be their na woie for Ai’Toptap just like what I did for Ai’Plan,” I added before pulling my hands off him. Ai’Cap smiles at me, “Have I told you P’—how lucky I am that you are one year older than me?” he asked me and I can’t help but chuckled, “Don’t worry Ai’—I am also lucky that you are younger than me khrab~”

“P’—I wish we can talk like this na khrab to P’Hyuk. Before, we don’t have any secrets to him na khrab and we weren’t afraid that he will get mad,” Ai’Cap sigh deeply and so I did, “Chai Ai’—and actually, I wanted to talk to you na khrab today because P’Donghae came in our room tonight—” Ai’s facial expression change. He looks so scared and worried so I explained to him first, “I forgot to tell you—but P’Donghae heard me talking to P’Mark during P’Hyuk’s birthday—khrab.”

He still looks puzzled, “You are—speaking in Thai na khrab—right?” I nod, “Chai—but turns out—P’ can understand a little Thai and was able to understand my conversation with P’Mark,” now he looks terrified. “Aliawa? Are you telling me P’ that P’Donghe knows about—” “Chai—but he promised me to never tell P’Hyuk not unless we are ready na khrab,” I inhale sharply, “But that wasn’t the problem na Ai’,” I continue.

“What is it P’?” he looks so worried and sound so worried. I feel bad for not telling him right away, “P’ said that yesterday, P’Hyuk heard some Nong talking about us—well precisely about P’Mark—and because P’Donghae doesn’t want P’Hyuk to find out—he did his best na khrab to cover up for us. Ai’, I don’t want to make their relationship complicated na woie because of us. P’ begged me to tell it directly to P’Hyuk so that P’ won’t find out this issue to other people na.” One of my main concern right now is P’s relationship with each other. I don’t want to make things hard for P’Donghae just for our sake.

“Let’s not be selfish anymore na Ai’, let’s tell P’Hyuk about the situation. Besides, P’Mark already stopped following me na khrab—so the only problem is your relationship with Ai’White,” I don’t want to put all of the burden to Ai’Cap but he needs to be aware of the situation. He is the main concern right now.

There are lines forming on Ai’s forehead, “I feel bad na khrab P’. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about myself na khrab right now—but P’—I was so scared when I think about White might be courting someone else and not showing affection to me again. I was so scared na khrab when I saw him with his Nong yesterday that it made me paranoid. I was scared P’ and then I figure out why I am scared—because I don’t want him to be like that with other people. I don’t want him to look at other people. I want everything about him P’ and I know I am being selfish na khrab but I do love him P’. You know that I’ve never felt this way before—right? I want to be brave P’—I want to tell everyone—to claim my boyfriend in front of many people—but I am also scared na khrab that P’Hyuk will find out.” I shake my head while listening to him.

“I understand Ai’—that’s why I am here for you na woie. I will help you with P’—you just need to gather your courage and I promise—P’Donghae and I will help you explain to P’Hyuk,” the only thing that I can do is to assure Ai’Cap that I will be here for him all the way.

Ai’Cap suddenly stands up which startled me a bit and he suddenly walk towards me. “P’Gun—” then he suddenly hugs me. Kind of awkward because I am on his waist level but I know he needs this hug, “I know Ai’, don’t worry na khrab~” I hug him back. Ai’Cap rarely cries and the last time he cried was when P’Hyuk’s departure going to Korea. Right now, he is crying. Maybe he really wants to cry from what happened today. His best friend was broken, he was torn between his family and his boyfriend, “Can we—do it na khrab after—Songkran? I know how much—P’Hyuk wants to—make Songkran special—for P’Donghae—I don’t—want na khrab to—ruin the mood. I—also need to talk to—White,” he said between his sobs. It’s breaking my heart but I know he needs this, “Okay Ai’—shhh stop it na khrab—shhh~”

‘I only have 2 brothers but I only have one younger brother. P’Hyuk khrab might think that this is so unfair that I am on Ai’Cap’s side but I don’t want to make either of them sad. P’Donghae is correct—this matter needs to come straight from us na khrab. I hope P’Hyuk will understand Ai’Cap—I hope.’

I am in a hurry editing this my goodness~