Throughout the whole day she spent her time trying to focus on her school work and telling small details to Eun since she was dying to know what was happening in her life. It didn’t bother her but she was tired of remembering the moments so she stopped when they bother were going to their fourth hour.

“Awe, why? I want to know more! Do you want me to die out of curiousity?” her friend pouted at her and Miyeon rolled her eyes only. “I don’t want to think about it so we’re done for the day, arasso?”

She swung her bag over her shoulder and started to walk ahead of Eun. She could hear Eun whining but today wasn’t the day so she didn’t bother to turn around so instead she lifted her hand up and waved, letting her know that she was serious and a farewell.
 

She stared at the sky, wondering to herself about how her life had been and why it was the way it was. Surprisingly, she wasn’t bothered by it. Everything happens for a reason. Now that she thinks about it, it wasn’t that bad. Except that she was falling for Jimin.

Miyeon bit her lip and took out her phone and dialed Jimin’s number. She hesitated to press the call button but she was missing him and she needed to hear his voice. His sweet, soft voice that drives her crazy everytime he calls her name.

“Yes?”

His voice on the other line woke her up.

“O-Oh, Ji-Jimin-ah!” she stumbled through her words and the sound to her voice was probably a bit too high because she could hear him chuckling. She winced and pinched herself.

Aish.
 

Jimin smiled as he ran his hand through his hair. “Are you okay? Why’d you call?” he asked.

“Oh, that. I’m fine but I was just checking on you, y’know….” her voice lowered and paused for a short second before continuing. “..Since you weren’t feeling all that today, so..”

Another pause and he laughed.

“Don’t laugh! Be grateful! Aish, you jerk. Bye, I’m hanging up!” she shouted through before disconnecting the phone call and he grinned at his phone.

“Who knew she was caring. I’m touched,” he says and put his phone in his pocket before getting up from his bed and going downstairs to make something to eat.

She pulled her hair and let out a scream of frustration. She couldn’t believe she called and at that, coming up with a lame excuse. She pouted and stared at the phone in her hands. “At least it was partially true..” she mumbled.

It was fifteen minutes until two and she got up to go back to class until the door opened and it was Nara, the last of the last person she’d meet. Her figure left Miyeon speechless.

“Care to sit and talk?”
 

Jimin forced himself to go upstairs when he got done eating. He wasn’t completely full neither was he hungry. Kimchi and ramen was enough to at least fill him half way up.

At the top of the stairs he noticed Miyeon’s door cracked open so he went to close it but he felt the need to go in. He looked around and there was nothing really but the usual of a girl’s bedroom. He sat on her bed and the visions of last night came back to him.

She was breathing for air and could hardly breathe. “J-J-Jimin!” she cried out and ran out of her room and burst into his room.

He facepalmed and fell on the bed on his back. He stretched his body as he started kicking the air, frustrated and out of his mind. Guilt and pain ran through him. He should’ve gotten up and comforted her on the spot but instead he was a coward and let her cry and hurt. “I should’ve,” he muttered and sighed. Feeling something under her pillow, he grabbed it and pulled it out.

Miyeon’s Diary.

He stared at it for a very long time before finally opening it up. He paused for a second to take a deep breath when he turned the first page before going on to the next pages. He knew that reading her diary was wrong and a part of her privacy but he couldn’t help it. So when he got to the most recent pages, he stopped and read it.
 

Dear Diary,

Today at work there was a group of guys and one of them called me by my name, but the thing is I didn't know who they are or who he is.

The guy had blonde mixed of pink and orange streaks. He was good looking honestly but I just thought it was creepy.

Chunhee..It sounds familiar..

- Miyeon

130502

---------------------------------

Tonight after work I heard footsteps. Each step I took, I feared for the worst. I started thinking about Table 8 but then maybe I was just being paranoid..

Jimin scoffed at the diary. The thought of them doing this to her was killing him. “How dare they do this. What are they, erts?”

The images of the night came back to him, remembering clearly how her face was when he had opened the door for her.
 

"Are you okay? You look pale," he says and she nodded, taking a last look behind her before shoving him back inside as he just watched her in confusion. She seemed to be scared of something.
 

“Those jerks.”

He went on.

Dear Diary,

This isn't happening..Right..?

My heart thumps and beats as usual. But it skips each time he smiles.
His smile is not attractive at all..
It races faster than usual when I'm close to him with any kind of contact.

This isn't right..What's wrong with me?
There's no way. I can't be..

- Miyeon
130506

Ah! And his smile is so refreshing. When he smiled at me today, it sent me to a faraway place.. 💘

---------------------------

Also the memories of him suddenly came back to me. It's been awhile since I've thought about him but for some weird reason, Jimin protecting me reminded me of him.

A place I don't want to return to..It hurts but at the same time it don't. Is it because of Jimin? I wonder. I've heard that you grow with the first but you're completed with the second. It makes me wonder..

But he was there to save me before, where is he now?..
 

A laugh escaped his lips as he read the first passage. He couldn't believe what he was reading. It was cute and he couldn't deny it.

“Wah. Who knew she had a cute side to her.”

His brows furrowed at the second part of the passage. He reread it under his breath. He felt good about himself in that paragraph but the mention of this guy who was her first love was killing him.

“She better not compare me to him,” he muttered and went on.

-----Makes new line under previous entry-----

Dear Diary,

Earlier today Jong Up told me that I was jealous about the fact that he and Nara were past lovers and that I have feelings for him.
It makes me wonder, what if he's right?
What am I going to do?

I can't help but deny it.
We're enemies.
He hates me, I hate him. Fair and square.

But..If Jong Up is right,..And I do, what about him?
Does that mean there's a chance he may feel the same towards me?

Ani..

Aish, this is driving me crazy. Forget it.
I don't like him. I don't love him. I hate him.

- Miyeon

Even if I'm denying it, I'm sure he feels the same. But this subject keeps making me angry because people keep acting like they know when actually no one do. If I don't want to tell, it's my decision.

Mianhae, JongUp..

----------------------------

Just the thought about him lying to me hurts. I know we're not one but I can't believe it..

She kissed him..But I have no right to be upset. Even with his lie.

Jimin cleared his throat at the entry, not knowing what to do or say. His mind was going wild and he didn't know what to feel.

She was jealous about me and Nara..Jealous..Hurt, the words kept popping up in his head.

He swallowed and continued.

Dear Diary,

I lied but i don't know why I did it. I guess I was jealous. Taehyung told me he's done with her. Is it true? What about the part about him feeling the same towards me?

He compared me to her. Apparently she denied her feelings and when the time came she wasn't ready. He didn't want me to be like that.

Regret my decision..

There it goes again. First Jongup now V.

But even if I do, it won't be the first.

V said he didn't want him to go through another heartbreak, i wonder how and why..?

It's been too long. I've felt it before and it's agonizing. But the kiss scene is stuck in my head. Why did I even bother to tell V?

Remembering his words makes me even more nervous and afraid. Already lost once, don't want to lose twice.

Faith.

Unwanted things will happen even if I don't want them to.. What do I do..If I do..?

I don't want Jimin to know.. I pray he don't..

- Miyeon

130507
 

The reading continues.

-------------------------

Today the memory of our first encounter came to me out of the blue. It probably was because he was there with me at the moment.

It was funny but now thinking about it, they, especially him, made my life fun after my friends left and I've lost them.

Thank you, Jimin..

And he didn't annoy me for the first time in forever so I really appreciate that. I hope to see this side of him more in the future.

-------------------------

The closeness between us was enough to make me go crazy. I felt comforted and relaxed.

-------------------------

Dear Diary,

I’ve made my decision and have decided to accept the truth. I’m tired of holding it in and denying it. I realized that I’ve been doing it for the longest now.

Refusing.

Denying.

I don’t want to repeat it again so I’m going to have faith in myself and others around me. I don’t want to regret again.

What I fear the most in the world.

Although my heart is still hurting, it’s also healing.

From him..Jimin..

My feelings for him is visible and this time I’m going to tell him when the time comes.

And when it comes, I’ll be ready.

-Miyeon

“Miyeon..Likes me..?”

He blinked and continued.

Dear Diary,

His touch, his hand, and the closer he got made me feel anxious. It was almost almost like an anxiety attack.

I could still remember it clearly like it was only a few minutes ago.

And for some odd reason, i wished he made the move. I wanted to feel him. His lips..On mine..

- Miyeon

130508

The boy coughed and shut the diary closed and sat it next to him. He had no idea she had feelings for him until now. He was shocked and surprised. He didn't know how he was even going to deal with her, not after he just found out everything.

“Miyeon..Has feelings for me..” he whispered and shook his head. “No. This has to be a joke.”

He groaned and smacked his face on both sides. “How can it be a joke when it's written in her diary?!” he exclaimed with his hands raised in the air.

Jimin stared at the book beside him, still tempted to know what she had written in it. He was curious now since he had just found out about how she actually feels about him.

He breathed in and out, trying a few breathing techniques before grabbing the book and turning it to the last page of her entry.

Last night.

Dear Diary,

Last night was unbelievable. I actually talked to him, and guess what else? He comforted me.

Everytime.

He’s warm and comfortable. I like it, but I fear for the worst to come. His first love is Nara and I don’t want to get in between them. I don’t want to hurt anyone, not anymore. I’ve done enough harm to Sohyun and Lee Byunghun Oppa. I don’t know if I’ll be able to take it if I was to hurt her but mostly Jimin. As much as I like him, I don’t think I can complete him. I’m not Nara. I’m nothing like her.

And Taehyung, I know I said some things but I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my words..

I’m sorry..

I’m sorry Jimin..

- Miyeon

130509

-------------------------

Today I stayed home because I can't bare to look at him in the face. My petty feelings towards him.

It's serious but I'm going to let it go because I know his feelings for Nara is still there. I can't get between them. I won't. Like before to now, I'm not like that. I'm not going to go that low to get someone I want. That's not good and it's not right.

Instead I'll just stop since it's only a little feeling anyway, nothing special..I’d prefer to stay as enemies and argue over stupid things then be awkward and uncomfortable with each other.

I wish though.

To go back to how we were before these unwanted feelings of mine get out of hand..