Captain’s POV

I am currently sitting in one of our university café’s with P’White in front of me. “What do you want to eat Ai’Cap?” he asked me while scanning the menu on his hands. I made some clicking sounds before answering, “Pad thai khrab and Thai tea.” “That’s too few. You need to eat more. You look so skinny these days.” He commented but still looking at the menu.

I let him order then because he is that type of person. He will ask me—buy what I want but add something more. “So—how was your day?” he sits comfortably now while looking straight into my eyes which always intimidates me. I don’t get shy easily but P’White normally expresses his feeling thru his eyes.

I turn a little to avoid his gaze, “Normal P’.” I am not a man with few words but I can’t find the next word to say to P’. “I see—well for me—I had a very hectic morning. We will have a group report by the end of the month and I am the task leader. I might not be able to spend so much time with you, Ai’.” It wasn’t necessary to report to me about his day but this is P’White. He is very passionate about the things that he likes.

I nod while drinking the glass of water in front of me. “It’s good—actually.” I said right after I finish my water. His face turns pale, “Are we—back to square one—Captain?” my heart pounds so loud when he said my name.

“Do you want to be back at square one—P’?” I dared to challenge him. This is my personality. I am always up for challenges. This time, I catch his gaze at me, “If I need to pursue you again and again—for million times—then I will.”

‘sweet ing talker’

I can feel my face heat up by that statement, “Kee—P’White!” I cursed at him because for me—his words are always below the belt. He laughs at my response, “So tell me now—why do you think it’s good that P’ and Ai’ won’t see each other frequently?”

[kee – (curse) in Thai]

I withdraw my gaze and slouch on my seat, “Because my brother is back—” he didn’t say a thing. He has this expression on his face that is encouraging me to continue talking, “He was the head hazer before—” again he only stares at me, “And—I don’t think P’Hyuk will be happy to know that an annoying—and persistent guy like you is—courting his youngest brother.” There I said it. Yes, it’s ing true. This person sitting in front of me is Nawat Phumphothingam or P’White. He is 1 year older than me and he is an IC (International College) student. He is freaking courting me for almost 1 month now. How did it happen? Blame that ing performance that we had 1 month ago.

Flashback

“Woie Ai’Cap you need to stop phasing back and forth in front of me. You are making P’ dizzy na!!” my noisy brother blabber again but I am too nervous to understand his words. Today is the day—D-day. You see, it’s all P’Plan’s fault.

“Do you need to go to the toilet, khrab? P’ can accompany you.” My brother talked again but he is just spitting nonsense words so I ignore him. So again, why am I blaming P’Plan? Because that baby-face best friend of my P’ decided to sign up our band to this big event for the foundation day of our university. He just went in the rehearsal room and said, “Woie guys we are up for the foundation day event. We need to have 2 sets of songs. So—we need to practice now!” and that’s the reason why we are here in this situation.

Surprisingly, Ai’Toptap is so chill sitting beside P’Plan and P’Title. I think I am the only one who is nervous right now. Why? Because the whole freaking school will watch and probably there are also people watching from another school.

“I don’t need to go to the bathroom P’!” I answered him stiffly. I need to loosen up a bit. “P’ will go out and buy something, do you want something Ai’Cap? Ice cream? Milk tea? Cake? What do you want—P’ will buy it for you na~” his nonstop talking is really getting on my nerves. “Whatever is available P’,” but I guess a quick desert or treat will calm me down.

P’Gun already left the backstage while P’Plan grabs my shoulder. He looks like a high school student rather than a university student because of his fresh feature and his height, “Ai’Cap sit down for a bit and breath in and out. You know my boyfriend told me that breathing in and out is good to calm your nerves though I am not sure what he means because whenever I inhale and exhale all I can feel is the air coming in and out of my lungs.” P’Plan and P’Gun are really a good match. I think if there is a competition about talking nonstop and nonsense, both of these P’ will win.

I sit down as I said, “This is your fault P’,” I mumbled but he is already talking over the phone, “Mean khrab, were you able to get a good seat? – khrab – who did you bring with you? – woie – really? Ai’White? He is like—bookworm or something? – na na –I see—tell him to enjoy the show. Khrab—we will perform soon—khrab—talk to you later~” P’Plan is very open about his uality. He is probably the boldest person I know about his personal life. He has been dating P’Mean for half a year already. I was so shocked at first when P’Gun blurted out about their relationship because P’Mean is very famous in IC. He has the looks and the money. He is also smart and a little bit uptight but I guess love can change a person.

“Let’s eat dinner later after the show, okay?” P’Title suggested. He is not talkative so his words are like rules in our band. “Khrab, P’,” Ai’Toptap responded. This band is really my brother’s band. He is older than me so he joined the band when he was in first year. During my first year here, P’ told me to find a pianist because they don’t have one and I accompanied Ai’Toptap to audition. They were shorthanded that time so I kinda helped them a bit and P’Title decided to add me in the final line up. P’Gun was so happy because I am in the band too. And of course, Ai’Toptap was able to perform with the band as well. Since then, we’ve been performing in small gigs and events in school—not this big kind of event.

“I will call Mean again so they can join us. How about you Ai’Toptap, don’t you want to invite Ai’Gunsmile?” P’Plan asked my friend and he has this huge grin on his face, “Khrab—I’ll message him.”

‘You don’t need to look so obvious Ai’Toptap.’

Few moments after, “Woie khor thot khrab, I was buying some food when my older brother called me and told me that he already booked their flight khrab coming back here in Thailand. Then I got so excited and I wasn’t able to buy in the end because when I look at the time it’s already few minutes before we performed and I don’t want you guys to feel burden because the lead vocalist is missing so I come back running right away, khrab!” “Breathe a little Ai’Gun. You are spiting words so fast.” And also, P’Title is the only one who can tell my brother to slow down.

Why am I surrounded by weird people? Is it too late to be the second son of our family?

“The performance was really good—like really really good. I was able to capture every single moment of it!” the loudest of them all cannot decide if he needs to eat his food or talk loudly. There are many people with us now because as planned we are in the nearest buffet restaurant to have dinner. “Are you sure that you recorded us, Ai’? We know that you are so bias with Ai’Toptap.” P’Plan asked my friend’s boyfriend.

Aside from being surrounded by weird people, I am also surrounded by gay people. Well—I am not complaining because P’Gun is not one of them and he probably dated tons of girls because of his good singing voice. Also, my P’Hyuk has a boyfriend and my mae and pa raised us without judging people around us.

Ai’Toptap is smiling from ear to ear while his boyfriend is talking beside him, “Don’t worry P’, I asked my friend to record my Toptap separately from the whole band performance. He looks so freaking awesome woie~”

I let them talk at each other. I stand up to go to the Japanese cuisine area. I was craving for sushi since last week so I need to feed my hungry tummy. I grab another plate and stock piles and piles of different variety of sushi on it. “You know—eating lots of raw food can cause stomach bacteria—right?” then someone interrupted the fun. I roll my eyes and look at the person.

“Thailand is a hot country so raw food can produce more bacteria.”

Who is he? I think he is with us. Who? “I’m sorry but—who are you?” I am being rude a bit but he was being rude to me first for lecturing me. “Nawat Phumphothingam—White for short. I am with Ai’Mean.”

‘Ahhhh the bookworm that P’Plan talked about. No wonder.’

I put down my plate on the buffet table and turn to him, “P’, if you don’t mind. I am trying to eat here.” I even smiled at him—fake smile because his words really irritate me a while ago.

He has this genuine smile on his lips right now and he is looking straight into my eyes like he can see my soul, “I am being worried to you, Ai’. But if you really want to eat it, then I am not stopping you.” I look at different direction. I don’t like the way he stares at me. “Khrab~” I said and grab my plate again, “Ai’Cap—can I—take care of you?” “WHAT?” I shouted and everyone even my friends look at our direction. “You were incredibly awesome on stage—I was mesmerized on how you move on stage. Is it okay if I like you?”

‘What the ! What the ! What the !’

“P’, are you drunk?” I walk a bit closer to him to smell him but there is no evident of alcohol from him, “I am not. But I might be intoxicated—by you!” oh boy~

Back to Reality

P’White is always straight forward and he will say what he wants to say. I hate that about him. I hate his guts. I hate his straightforwardness, and I hate his gaze—I hate it!!! I hate is so much that I don’t want him to look at other people the same way he looks at me—or the way he talks at me—arghhhh!!!!

White’s POV

He is frowning again and those frown causes those cute lines on his forehead. I badly wants to trace them using my finger but I don’t think Ai’Cap will let me. I’ve always value his feelings over mine because I don’t want to mess up my one time shot on him. I’ve waiting long enough to be able to have a decent conversation to him and meal.

Captain turned my world upside down without even trying. Ai’Mean told me that I am being soft to him and I am being considerate but I didn’t think so. Ai’Mean is a bit strict with Ai’Plan but he always gives in. Our only difference is—I always give in.

Flashback

I don’t have a lot of friends in the university. I am very focus with my studies and I think having too much friends can be a distraction for me. Besides, I am on my second year now so no more playing games. But I do have a friend. Ai’Mean, he is my neighbor and my classmate. He is a good influence because he is also serious on his study—not until he drags me into this small gig performance in College of Music.

“Seriously Ai’Mean, I have papers to finish.” I keep on complaining because the performance that he is looking forward with is not yet on stage. “20 minutes—I will help you after. Just 20 minutes.” And my friend never begs for time to me. I decided to stay for a bit while reading some articles on my ipad.

“Ai’ my friend, they are on stage now!” and I never heard Ai’Mean’s voice this excited. I wonder why? I close my ipad and put it in my bag. There are 5 people standing on stage. They all wearing the same white long sleeves and black pants as me but we don’t look like we are wearing the same uniform.

Three of them have black hair, one has red striking hair, and the other one has platinum blond hair. For some reason, those two stand out so much—well they kinda look alike too. I tried to give it a shot and listen to their performance. Ai’Mean isn’t making any noises but I can see his head moving in sync as the beat of the drum starts to play.

The guy with the red hair starts to move his body and sing while the guy in blond hair is glowing because of his skin color and his hair. He looks so mesmerizing that I didn’t notice how much I stared at him. My vision is locked on him right now. I didn’t notice anyone on stage anymore. He is also singing and moving and bobbing his head. Sweat can be seen on his forehead and neck and those small details adds up to make him look majestic in my eyes. It feels like—I’ve seen a completely different person on stage. He captures my eyes.

“Ai’Mean—” I grab my friend’s arm while still looking straight at the beautiful guy in front of me. “Stop it—I am concentrating.” But he just got mad at me but I care less, “Ai’handsome friend—who is that guy with blond hair?” I tried again and this time he answered me, “I think that is Nong Captain—I am not sure. Stop bothering me.”

‘Captain—looks like you captured me.’

-----

For the past couple of months, I’ve been following him on social media and in the campus. I found out that Ai’Mean is courting the drummer of the band that’s why he’s been interested in watching the bands performance these days. Having a friend who has a connection with the band is an advantage. I found out that Ai’Captain is a freshman. The red haired guy is his older brother, Ai’Gun and they are both in college of music. Such a gifted pair of brothers. Ai’Captain was recruited by Ai’Title but that was just based on Ai’Mean’s story.

He wasn’t even asking me why I’ve been so interested about Ai’Captain. Anyway, that guy might look so cool and swag on stage but on offstage, he is just a simple student who has passion with music and love for his family. Base on his post on social media, he always has fun skype conversation with his older brother who’s working in Korea right now.

He always hangs out with Ai’Toptap the band’s pianist because they are classmates. One time, I was busy making my papers at the school cafeteria when I saw him walking with all his glory. He is sort of famous with girls—which I don’t blame them because he has the looks and the voice. But he doesn’t entertain girls—so far. I am not sure what he was doing in my college cafeteria so I sort of follow him.

I grabbed my stuff and secretly follows him. He went straight into my classroom and I was so shocked when he punched Ai’Mean that made my friend fall off his chair. “You bastard—don’t get close to P’Plan anymore!” he was so mad that time and I am not sure why. I haven’t hang out with Ai’Mean lately because of my paper work. Ai’Mean wipes the blood on the corner of his mouth, “I didn’t do anything to him!” base on his tone—he is mad—but not as mad at this hot headed freshman.

Even the way he fights looks captivating, “Kee, save it when I am ready to believe in you. P’Gun might be dumb for not confronting you but I am not. You are just rich—but you should not force people to do what you want—especially with my friends!” and that was the time I realized that he is more than one in a million.

‘I want him to want me too~’

-----

I followed him for almost 2 years now but I cannot point out my feelings for him.

Fascination?

Admiration?

Love?

I am not sure—not until I saw him on stage again tonight. Ai’Mean and I are on our third year already and we have so many works to do and I cannot afford to miss an hour not making any of these pile of papers. I know that Ai’Cap’s band will perform tonight because Ai’Mean told me every hour because his boyfriend (finally) was calling him every hour as well to update him.

At first, I told him to leave me but after showing me the bands backstage picture—curtesy of P’Plan, his boyfriend—I immediately change my mind. I got dragged by Ai’Mean—willingly. I don’t have any regrets.

Seeing him again on stage—have moments with Ai’Gun and jump couple of times letting his sweaty hair bounce up and down—I can’t help but feel the same adoration I have for him the first time I saw him on stage performing.

His delicate hands are so focus on the strings of his guitar. They are moving in sync with his body swaying in different directions and his fierce eyes are piercing at me. His body moves so much that I can’t help but smile. He is feeling it, enjoying it. In instant—I know what I feel for him. It’s not a simple fascination or admiration—it is without a doubt;

“! I am doom! I am in love with him!”

Back to Reality

All I want to say is thank you to those people who subscribed and commented on this fic. I keep on telling friend friends that I am not sure if you guys can understand 100% of this fic. I hope you all understand it, though. :)