Captain’s POV

I am so nervous right now because P’White is here in my house together with that P’Annoying. P’Gun and I keep on glancing as both of them walk in the house. “Ai’Gun, Ai’Cap, come here.” P’Hyuk called us but he is still smiling.

We didn’t think twice leaving P’Mark and P’White in the front door. “Yes, P’Khrab?” P’Gun is so nervous and it’s obvious because he will only act politely in front of P’ if he is nervous. We both stopped in front or P’, “I didn’t know that you have rich friends.” P’ whispered to us and all I can do is to sigh in relief.

“Well—actually P’ they are P’Mean’s friends. They are from IC khrab.” I explained and I did it as slowly as possible, “No wonder they are driving such daring sports car. Anyway, make them feel comfortable na khrab?” P’ walks away with P’Donghae following him.

I heard a loud sigh from P’Gun, “I was so scared, Ai’.” He said right after he sighed and I cannot agree more, “Same P‘. I thought P’Hyuk already found out about them.” Like a queue, we both look behind us to check P’s.

For the first time, I witnessed P’Mark without the usually confidence in his eyes and P’White looking so lost. “P’, you take care and talk to the guest. Some of them know these idiots and I will try to talk to P’White, khrab?” I gave instructions already to P’Gun. I think P’Mark will follow him but I careless about him. Right now, I need to make something clear to P’White.

P’Gun nods before walking inside the house with P’Mark following him silently and I walk towards P’White, “Khor thot—” “Save it later P’, for now—” I look to my left and right before saying, “Follow me!” I said and walk in the house avoiding someone who knows us as much as possible.

[khor thot khrab – I’m sorry in Thai]

We walk silently upstairs where guests don’t usually reach—not unless it’s P’Hyuk, P’Donghae, P’Heechul, P’Gun, or Nong Heemi.

I open the first door on the left—P’Gun and I shared room. “Hurry up P’.” I said a little bit nervous. I don’t want someone to see us entering my room. The rumors about me will be greater than what P’Mark created if that thing happens.

As soon as we both stepped in the room, I close the door but didn’t lock it in case P’Gun will enter. That is actually the reason why we don’t lock our door. We don’t want one of us to have a hard time entering the room. “Seriously—P’,” I turned around and starts to get mad but this P’ suddenly pulls me and envelopes me in a warm, bone crashing hug.

“P’?” I asked but he still hugs me. “I was so nervous Ai’Cap. I thought your P’ will throw us out of the house. I don’t know na Ai’.” I feel bad for him. I also felt like the heart will burst out when P’Hyuk saw them.

I decided to do the most normal thing that I can think of—to pat his back, “I felt the same way too, P’.” I cannot believe that I will be able to make my voice this soft. “I thought—P’Hyuk found out—and the timing is so bad—” I stopped before I realized, “P’, why are you with P’Mark?”

‘Why does P’ needs to get involved with P’Mark? He will just put them in a situation like this.’

I push P’ away a bit so that we will be able to see each other. He still hugs my waist but this time there are some inches gap between us, “You shouldn’t be mad at P’Mark na Ai’Cap. He told me what happened before and he explained na khrab about the picture. I think—P’Mark just wanted to help you because he cares about you and P’Gun.” I don’t understand why suddenly P’Mark and P’White became close.

“Still—” “Ai’Cap, believe me, P’Mark means no harm.” All I can do is nod because P’White knows how to see good and bad characters. It looks like he sees something in P’Mark.

“If you say so.” I said and totally pull out from the hug because it’s starting to feel awkward for me. “So—Ai’, this is your room and Ai’Gun’s room, right?” He scans the whole room. I told him before that P’ and I share the same room.

I sit on the edge of P’Gun’s bed and P’White sits at the edge of my bed. “That is—my P’Hyuk khrab.”  I decided to talk again and this time, P’White looks a little bit tense. “Khrab. I can see now why you sound so terrified when you told me about your P’.”

“P’Hyuk is the nicest and sweetest brother in the world. If a gun will be fired towards me, he will jump in just to save me—but his protectiveness towards us is very overwhelming. P’ khrab is very scary when he is mad. That was why on Ai’Toptap is my closest friend because most of our classmates are a little bit afraid of P’Hyuk.” P’White is so focused in my story. I like that he listens very well because I don’t know what to do if he will not.

“I love P’Hyuk very much na khrab. The same love I have for P’Gun. You remember how I punched P’Mark, khrab?” “khrab~” “Because I don’t want those important people to me to get hurt or get tricked but at the end of the day, I still put P’Gun into trouble with P’Mark—so if P’Hyuk found out about them—or even this—” to be honest, I can’t put a name on our relationship right now, “He will be furious. He will not like it. He can even hurt you P’—I don’t want P’Hyuk to hurt P’White.” And those deepest fears in my heart are slowly coming out naturally.

P’ looks glad but his smile looks hurt, “I also don’t want to put you into a situation that you will get hurt, Ai’Cap—I will not get tired telling you how much I value your feelings over mine—so if you want me to stop—” “No P’!” I didn’t realize how fast I answered P’. “I mean—you don’t need to—back off, P’ khrab. I just need the right timing to—talk to P’Hyuk.” I got so shy because it sounded so eager.

P’White moves a little closer to me and grab both of my hands that probably feels so cold right now, “Ai’Cap—chan rak khun mak—but I think you know about it—but Ai’khrab—I waited for 2 years, do you think I can’t wait for few days? Weeks? Months? or even years?” that hits me. P’ has been so honest about his feelings to me but here I am—still confused about how I feel for him and selfish enough to ask him to stay and wait.

[chan rak khun mak – I love you so much in Thai]

“P’~” that is the only thing that I can say. He squeezes my hands and that makes me feel warm, “I will not interfere today. I just want to give my gift to your P’ then maybe eat something—” his playful smile is back, “Then maybe P’Mark will also decides to go back to school. Besides—I still have 7pm class.” I wish I can figure out soon how I really feel for this man. He is so pure—and precious.

“Chai P’~” I smiled back at him.

We keep on smiling while looking at each other for good 1 minute when he decided to talk again, “Ai’Cap, khrab.” I nod, “Khrab?” he is leaning dangerously close to me so suddenly, “P’—khrab?” I asked again but his eyes are so focused—so intense—so—in love.

“Can I—” he slowly said, “kiss you?” and I thought my heart left me when it stops beating so suddenly. I gulp the imaginary lump in my throat, “P’ khrab—” I started, “When you want something—you don’t really need to ask for my permission—na khrab.” And there goes my manliness—outside my room window because that answer is not manly at all.

‘Shiya Captain!! You’re cazy!!’

But everything stops when P’White pulls my hands and my body suddenly lean so close to him that the only thing that I can remember is the feeling of warm soft lips on mine.

My first kiss—it wasn’t snatched by me or accidentally gave it to someone. My first kiss is with this P’ who courageously confessed his love for me despite our gender.

I slowly close my eyes and feel the warm and slow movements of his lips on mine.

Then I feel something hit the back of my neck, “OH MY GOODIE GOD CAP GEGE!! MY EYES MY EYES!! OMG!! LIVE ACTION NA KAH!! OMG!!” and my eyes fluttered open when Heemi’s voice invaded my room.

‘! I’M SO DEAD!’

I had a hard time writing this up because I decided to have nail extensions hahahahha what am I doing seriously?? hahaha