There are truth and lie
People often say they like truth the most
However it’s hurt them the most.
-Im Yoona-

Yoona felt her soul was drained from her body. The journey back to her house was filled with emptiness. She felt sick not only physically but mentally as well. She just wanted to turn off all the lights and put the blanket over her body. She feels like breaking anytime soon. She was about to turn to her room when she decided to go to her grandmother’s office room. She just raised her hand to knock the door but the door wasn’t entirely closed and accidentally hear the current conversation.

“What do you mean?” her grandmother voice seemed agitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Her grandmother’s assistant said. “Almost certain, the information that's what I get from Mr.Wu's personal colleague.” He said with calm voice.

Her grandmother sighed loudly, and clenched her fist, “We can’t just act base on this information, right? The damage of Yoona’s broke engagement was too heavy.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” The assistant said, “It would affect our stocks alot. As long as the Seo keep silent, we can postpone the decision.”

“It would be better if Yoona could keep her engagement with Oh family’s heir.” Her grandmother said. “I have to find a way to make the Oh keep the agreement.”

Yoona felt her heart clenched, she should be happy that she could still have the engagement with Sehun right? As long as Sehun was her fiancee, they could learn to love each other... Yoona wanted to laugh at the naive though, must her really beg for Sehun's affection? She can’t feel anything hearing that her grandmother wanted to find a way. Would it give Yoona what she wants? She closed her eyes, remembering Sehun's face when he broke their engagement, when he said his good-byes. When he admitted that as long as she’s Im Yoona, Oh sehun would never love her.

Yoona knocked the door, “Halmoni.” She called softly.

“Ah Yoona-ah dear, get in.” Her grandmother gave sign so her assistant could step aside and gave Yoona place. “You are home already?” she asked kindly to her grandkid.

“I want to tell you something.” Yoona said after swallowing the pain in . She's Im Yoona, the Im princess, SM High's Queen and she's strong.

“What is it?” Her grandmother asked her.

Yoona inhaled, she clenched her fist, “I want to break up with Sehun.” she said it. There you go she said it! Without any tears, she's proud that her voice didn’t betray her.

“What?” Her grandmother stood from her chair, as her assistant became stone. “Can you repeat it?”

“I want to cancel engagement between me and Sehun.” Yoona prayed her grandmother didn’t ask her to repeat it again. It took her last energy to say that.

“Yoona-ah...”Her grandmother shocked and sighed, “Do you understand what are you trying to imply right now?” she asked Yoona who still stood there and frozen.

Did she understand? Yoona wanted to laugh, of course she did.  If she didn’t her heart wouldn’t break. She gulped, “Didn’t the Oh say it, Halmoni?” she asked her back, “We merely save our pride by announce it first.”

“Yoona-ah, it is not the time for us to just agreeing with Oh. We could discuss some agreeable terms so we can continue the engagement. We will get lot of benefit if we have connection with Oh.” her grandmother explained it as she took the seat again. “Don’t you fancy Sehun?”

Fancy? The words seemed so small, she didn’t fancy Oh Sehun. She had more than that, and that broke her. “Please, Halmoni.” Yoona pleaded, “Let’s break it up, first.”

“What is your reason?” her grandmother said. “It’s not only about your pride right?” her grandmother guessed it carefully.

Yoona choke. Pride? “Oh Sehun didn’t love me.” Yoona whispered. “And will never love me.” She added. There, she said it again. She admitted out loud. Wasn't the reason was strong enough?

Her grandmother sighed, “Then? We know that love can be grown when you get married. You fancy him, and then he didn’t hate you, you can work it out somehow.”

Yoona bit her lips, work it out? how? She just being rejected even before she start? Must her bent her self? Must she change? Because she wasn’t Seo Joohyun!! Sehun wouldn’t laugh with her, Sehun wouldn’t remember her favourite food, Sehun wouldn’t love her!!

“Please I don’t want to work it out.” Yoona said.

“What? You are an Im! You will not give up!” Grandmother said, “We can solve it with Oh family...”

“Halmoni!!” Yoona cut her off, and then with teary eyes looked to her grandmother, “Can we stop it?? please!! I want to stop!! Do you want me to beg Sehun?” Yoona asked her, “Do you want me become beggar? Just for his affection? Do you want me to lower myself that down? Sehun doesn’t love me! And will never love me!!”

“Yoona..”

“he said it himself!! That it’s all just a lie!! Must I ask him to lie? Should I, too?” Yoona asked her grandmother, she choke with her tears. Her pride crumbled down, her heart already broken.”Halmony lets stop it! it hurts!! I can’t pretend to be Prideful Im yoona, when I beg for something that Sehun will never ever give me!!”

She felt hard to breath, the same feeling again she felt when she was in the garden with Sehun. “I don’t want to have Oh Sehun.” she said as she stepped back. “as my fiancee anymore.”

She was desperate, she looked to her grandmother that still stoic there, “Please Halmoni....Let him go. I want him...happy at least.” She titled her head, “C-can we...” she had to swallow her voice again, “Can I have at least my pride? Can  I show to the world that I am not beggar?”

Before her grandmother gave the response, Yoona ran from the office to her room. When she closed her door she let out the small sobbed.
She's a liar! She's great pretender. She still wanted Oh Sehun, she still wanted to become Oh Sehun's fiancee, but it hurts the most that she was still the same beggar like 3 years ago. She would still begging if she didn’’t stop her self. She hugged her knee, she hated herself! She hated herself to fall that much, to let Oh Sehun broke her. Nope..wrong she let herself hurt her most. And the foolish thing that one part of her wanted Oh Sehun be happy.

Even if she's the only one who will be hurt the most.

Sehun still got back to the school and he spent his time in the drama club room, he couldn’t go to class like normal. He had no energy to deal with more people. He took Seohyun's usual spot. The seat that's always infront of him. He could feel the serenity as he laid his head to the table. He couldn’t help but to keep staring at the window, if he could, he want to sleep but everytime he close his eyes, he would see Yoona’s face. And somehow it hurts. Like something was ripped out from his chest. She cried because of him. He took the script on the table.

Romeo and Juliet.

His favourite Shakespears literature. The drama that would be performed in festival later. He smiled a little when he remembered that it was one of Seohyun’s favourite.

“Oppa.” He turned to the voice and Seeing Seohyun there with books on her hold. She was so beautiful.

“ah, Seohyun-ah.” He greeted her slowly. “How are you?”

“I am the one who should ask you that.” Seohyun said back to him and walked closely to the place where Sehun sat. Seohyun frowned when she realized that Sehun sat on the place that she usually did.

Sehun let out small smile, “Do you want to sit here? I can move?” Sehun offered to him.

Seohyun shook her head, “No need, oppa. It’s okay. I will sit here.” She pointed the place that usually Sehun sat, she put down her book on the table surface.

Sehun sighed, “I always think why we never change seat, I think I know now.” Sehun said, “You like to watch from window, you can see the front gate from here.” He added as he looked to outside.

Seohyun titled her head and smile, “Yes, and you can watch people get in and out from that place, but actually that’s not the reason I like it.”
Sehun frowned in confussion, “ Why?” he asked back.

“Find it by yourself, Oppa.” She said mysteriously, she laughed and without Sehun relized he also let out small chuckled.

“Fine. Let me try.” Sehun watched the scenery outside the window.

Seohyun looked to Sehun face, the bruise from Luhan still there. And Seohyun knew that today Sehun and Yoona skipped the class. Yoona didn’t come back to school so she conclude that they talked. “Are you okay, oppa?” Seohyun hesistantly asked him.

“Hmm?” Sehun confused, “What do you mean?”

“about oppa and Yoona eonni.” Seohyun added awkwardly, “Are you okay oppa?” she asked him softly.

“Yoona has it worse than me.” He said, and leaned to the window. “I think I am still okay.” He said.

Seohyun looked at him hesistantly, “Still okay? So later you won’t be okay again?” Seohyun asked him again.

Sehun surprised hearing Seohyun’s question, he looked at her who still watch him with those big eyes. As if the eyes asked him to be honest with her, “I don’t know. I feel horrible, you know Seohyun-ah, Yoona cried. I hate seeing her cry.”

“Then why you cancel your engagement oppa?”

“Because I can’t lie again.” Sehun said, “I want to be honest to myself, to people around me.”

“Lie?”

Seohyun titled her head.

“Do you ever feel it Seohyun-ah?” Sehun asked her back, “Lying to yourself that everything is gonna be okay? I pretend that I have no feeling while I fell in love with someone who isn’t my fiancee. I keep thinking that I can do it as Oh’s heir to marry Yoona.” Sehun pointed his chest, “But it hurts, when I think about the girl I fell in love with. Even I pretend that it didn’t hurt, I became tired. Tired and hurt.”

Seohyun kept silent, so Sehun added, “and then I realized, not only I hurt myself, but I hurt Yoona. If I keep engaging with her, she would never find someone who will love her wholehearted. She will be tied with someone who didn’t even care about her.” Sehun added, “I want her to be happy.”

“But you care about Yoona eonni.” Seohyun said in soft voice, “I think. If you don’t care about her, you will not think about her happines. You hate seeing she cry, so you care right?”

Sehun smiled bitterly, hearing it from Seohyun sounded ironic. His chest was heavy, everytime he closed his eyes, Yoona’s teary face that would appear. He hated that Yoona, Yoona was strong. She was never fragile like Seohyun. She never needed any protection. Then? What should he do?

“Do you think I am right, Seohyun-ah?”

Sehun watched Seohyun, her face was so angelic, he felt warm and guilty at the same time. He was the worst.

Seohyun shook her head, “I don’t know.” Seohyun whispered, “I just want oppa happy, but I want Yoona eonni happy also.”

“Me too, Seohyun-ah. Me too.”

Honesty? Is it cruel right? Pretending at least give you ignorant bliss. But just when you realized it, you become super hero, not the coward behind scene again. But being honest was hard.

Why? Why couldn’t he likes the right person?

-edited: heartsica-

12/15/2015