Sometimes when you think you are alone
You will find the most unexpected person...
Beside you
-Seo Joohyun

The moment Jessica opened her door the latter let out a piercing dolphin scream with shock, her bag almost dropping on the floor.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she yelled at the abnormally tall guy who's leaning on the wall near the shoescase. He put the anger on his face.

“Do you have amnesia or something?” Kris snapped back at her, “I am still here of course, you left me here when suddenly your grandmother called you.” He said in the cold tone, folding his arms in front of his chest.

All of a sudden, why did Jessica felt like she's acheating wife caught by her husband going home past midnight? Perhaps because Kris acted like the boss around her, she instantly forget it's her apartment not his.

“It's not my grandmother who called, it's Luhan.” Jessica said shortly and glared to Kris, “And why haven’t you get out of my house?” Jessica asked him coldly.
She hated someone in her house, she loved her loneliness.

“I am hurt right?” Kris said, “I can’t ride my motorbike.” He said bluntly. “And be grateful I ordered pizza, at least we won’t starve to death.”

“YAH!!! Who said you can order pizza from my house?” Jessica snapped him, “My house my rule.”

“You want that badly to cook for me?” Kris asked her, “I pay using my own money, don’t worry.” 

Jessica rolled her eyes, “Instead I should grateful you didn’t burn my house.”

“No, I just see your underware.” Kris said back, and earned the super killer glared from Jessica, he raised his brow, “What? I don’t take it though, I can’t wear it!! Not my size.”

“YAH!! ert!!” Jessica yelled before going to the kitchen to see the pizza, she needed eat too, although she didn’t really like pizza, except pepperoni pizza. “I will kick you out from my house.”

“Where have you gone?” Kris asked her when she settled on the chair and opened the pizza box. “Whydid your grandmother call you?”

Jessica put down the pizza back on the box, she exhaled,”It’s not...”

“My business.” Kris cut her off, he looked at her intently, “Damn it!! Can’t we just stop this? Let's at least have a serious talk once in a while.” He said Jessica didn’t change at all, she kept having the attitude problem like Kris know as usual, but somehow Kris knew something's wrong with her. Only a slight expression, the exhausted expression, the same face when she asked him to hug her for the first time.

Something must have happened to her today.

“Stupid. I just hate Korea so much.” Jessica said out of blue, “I don’t care about someone I can’t. But why am I feeling guilty?” she asked him.

Kris looked at her cautiously, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to care about someone, but what I know is that your happiness depends on you, not from other. So, I am chasing my dream, I don’t care about what people say. Heck I don’t even care how much people I'll hurt, because I can’t feel.” She said absently.

“But now, why am I feeling pain by just seeing Yoona cry.” Jessica said, she gazed blankly to the televison, “I want to hug her, I want to hit the bastard that hurt her, I want to tell her that it will be okay.”

“I can feel it too.” Kris said suddenly, “Whenever someone hurts Joohyun I want to punch him, I guess it’s instict as an elder sibling to protect the younger one.”

Jessica laughed sarcastically, “Then why does honesty hurts?” Jessica asked him, “You think it’s right to cover things with sweet lie?”

She threw herself to the chair, and look blankly at the pizza box.

Kris took the seat in front of her, “I don’t know.” Kris said, “I never think about it. But sometimes if  we care too much about someone we think lying is the best solution so they won’t get hurt.”

Lie? Jessica never cared enough to lie for someone's sake, she couldn’t lie to herself, no matter how pained she was, Jessica learned to accept it.

Just like the five year old Jessica, she learned that nobody loved you better than yourself.

For the first time in her life, Jessica's confused, she considered to lie for Yoona. She regretted what happened with Yoona, she hoped she could turn back time and stop herself from talking to Oh Sehun about it.

She hated feeling like this. Hated caring about someone.

“Joohyun said to me that sometimes living in honesty althought it hurts is better than hearing a lie.” Kris broke the silence, he sat across Jessica, “But love sometimes make you want to protect them with lie.”

Jessica wanted to laugh sceptically, but she couldn’t. “Fortunately, I can’t love someone right?” Jessica said,

 Kris looked at her, “You love Yoona, as your sister. Joohyun said to me once, that no matter what we will love someone beside ourself, perhaps our family, friend or even someone out there.” Kris said to her, then shrugged. “I think no matter how bad are you, you will care about someone.”

“Then you will get hurt, right?” jessica asked him. “Just like you.”

Kris chuckled bitterly, he remembered how his mom refused to see his face, how his mom couldn’t hug him. Couldn’t kiss him goodnight. The foolish part of him still loved her so much, still hoping.

His mother would hug him. His mother could see his eyes, and told him that she loved him.

“You can’t choose.” Kris said suddenly. “You can’t choose to love someone or not. It’s just come naturally.”

Jessica laugh sarcastically, “If you can’t control then you can fall in love with me, like that?”

Kris looked her in awe, “Yeah, wait until the hell is freeze.” Kris said, “The possibilites you fall in love with me is higher.” Kris added confidently.

Jessica shot him the murder glare. “What do you have to make me fall in love with the bully like you?”

Kris smirked, “Tell me if you fall in love with me. I am your fiancee, right? I will think in continuing our engagement.”

Jessica rolled her eyes, and let out the sarcastic laugh, “You are the one who always talk about our engagement, so it seemed that you are the one in love with me, not the other way around.” Jessica said, “Confess it quickly so I can reject it.”

“Wait until the pigs will fly.” Kris muttered under his breath, he was Kris Seo, he never confesed and will never, he got confession. Jessica would confess to him.

You can’t choose whom you in love with.

Somehow Kris just realized it now, he spent whole his life to beg for his mother love, yet he didn’t get it. Yoona spent her time to love someone who couldn’t love her.

Kris didn’t know it was so painful, why it couldn’t be easy? Was Jessica right? Caring about someone mean hurting. And seeing Jessica now, she seemed very trouble by it. Was she so hurt before? How does it feel when no one loves you? When no one hugs you. “Jessica.” Kris said suddenly, “Even if you don’t know love, that doesn’t mean you can’t love someone.”

Jessica looked at him with shock, “What do you mean?”

“Believe it or not, you love Yoona, you are guilty because you are afraid of hurting her.” Kris said, “You want to hug her although you said no one hug you.”

“And if you want I can always hug you, you just have to ask me.” He added in soft whisper.

Jessica lost for words, she could feel the sincere from Kris, that he would hug her, Jessica didn’t know, didn’t know at all but it was the first time someone would be there for her.

She didn’t want to admit it that she didn’t feel lonely, how she yearn for someone who will hug her no matter what. She learnt long ago how to be alone, yet she couldn’t erase the warmth of Kris’ words.

Would he hug her?    

She gulped she didn’t know how to respond, she never been good with this.

“Say thank you.” Kris said to her, “It’s enough if you say thank you.” Kris said again.

Jessica felt tight on , she couldn’t speak a single words, she just could look to Kris eyes, and saw nothing but a warm smile, she opened but she couldn’t say anything.

“Thank you.” She whispered in her soft voice, “Thank you, Kris.”

I'm so sorry for the ;late update, hope you enjoy this story more....

and about Kris and Jessica, I want to make their romance grow a little bit by a little,unlike Chanyeol, Kris had his own issue.

so bear with me kay? It will not real if suddenly they jumped into romance mode right?

because this story mainly told not only about finding love, but a way to maturity for Jessica and other.

hope you left me many comment.

^^

-edited by: heartsica 9/9/2014 9:41am