Love is a feeling that produce lot of things
Happiness, Smile but also tears
The pain of love is never easy to endure
~Byun Baekhyun~

For the first time in her life, Yoona didn’t want to go to school. she hated that she was the perfect daughter of Im. She couldn’t just take day off because she was broken heart. She hated to put a smile when she was in  pain. She was trained so well.

“Are you okay?” she glanced to Luhan who sat beside her.

Yoona nodded. “I will manage somehow.”

“You can take one day off you know.” Luhan said softly. “No one will judge you.”

No one would judge her, Yoona chuckled, “nope. They are afraid of Im family but that doesn’t mean they will not know about the news.”

Luhan sighed, “No, they held the news, they haven’t announce it to media. You still have time, you can rest first.”

“Then?” Yoona bit her lower lips, “Will it change anything?” she asked cynically. “We are Im family, we hold our pride high, Luhan. If the news break now, then I will stand firm so noone will pity me. I am Im lady.”

Im lady? Yeah, Im Lady was strong and prideful, the perfect daughter and queen of Smhigh, she could do everything, but Yoona knew that one part of her waited to crumble down.

Luhan let the silence engulf them, this was the first time Yoona didn’t cry anymore after hearing the news. Yoona looked outside the window as they got out the Im estate. She watched the leaves on the tree, some people who walked.

“Ya, Luhan can you let go?” Luhan’s ear perked when he heard Yoona’s question. “Can you let her go?”

Without even Yoona told him, they knew who was ‘her’ in this case. Luhan looked to outside also, “No.” Luhan closed his eyes, “I can’t.”

“Even it for her happiness?” Yoona asked him.

Luhan clenched his fist, he and Yoona had more similiarity than they realize, they shared time together even since they were in the womb. They grew up together, they received the same things and then they both fall in love to the people they were engaged.  And when they fell? They fell hard.

“No.” Luhan said firmly, “I will make her happy.”

“But when you realized that you are not enough?” Yoona asked Luhan, then Luhan realized Yoona asked him because It was about Yoona, “How about if you are not strong enough? You know, falling in love is the greatest feeling that I feel.” She said.

“Eomma and Appa never love each other you know? I heard from maid, they played well in front of us, in front of the media. I know that they both have lover.” Yoona closed her eyes, she wasn’t so blind not knowing that. She knew that her parents was married for status. Just liked her. She gulped, “and you know when I was engaged, I think I want we love each other like prince and his princess. We can fall in love in the first sight?”

“We will get marry and live happily.” She chuckled, “then I realize ah...fairy tale isn’t easy like that. He doesn’t love me yet. Yet, so I think we will learn later, and then...I fall in.” Yoona said.

She inhaled, “Someday I said to myself, he will love me dearly. He will hold my hand without people tell him to, he will hug me, he will kiss me. I..I just have to wait right?”

“We will love each other. I hope. Then it became my prayer, I pray everyday that he will realize my feelings...”she shook her head, “No, he will realize he loves me. Then we will not become Eomma and Appa.”

“He will love me, he will. I keep telling myself like that even when I know that he never see me, even when I know he loves someone else.” Yoona felt her breath stopped.

It was so hurt, still so hurt. “I said to myself, Wait Yoona, be patient, he will love you someday because he is your fiancee. Then he laughed...he laughed and then I know I had no chance, My happy ending will end like Eomma and Appa...”

Luhan wanted to hug his sister, to tell her it’s okay. But Luhan knew that was a lie, he could feel Yoona’s pain.

“Even like that, I think it’s okay, I still have him, I still have him. He can’t leave me, even it’s from business.” Her chest restricted, “I said...it’s okay, I love him even 1 % he can love me back...then...then...” Yoona’s breath stop.

“No 1%, he didn’t love me!! He didn’t even care to tell me until I hear from our parents.” Yoona choked out her tears, “he said I deserve someone better and be happy.”

“He doesn’t know that I am happy...I always happy with him. I don’t need someone else, I am ready to wait until he love me. I wait for 7 years, I can wait for another one years, two years, even 10 years. I can wait.” She closed her mouuth with her palm when tears flow hard.

“He even didn’t give me a chance to wait. He stop me for waiting..then what should I do? It’s so hurt when I can even hope for his love, I’m afraid I can’t even look at him..I am afraid I can’t let him go...”

She hugged herself, “I am afraid if I can’t say....” Luhan stopped her and pulling her into his hug, “my feeling. But the most I am afraid...I make him hurt. I want him happy...what should I do?”

Luhan hugged her and patted her head, Oh Sehun. Oh Sehun. how could you hurt Yoona liked this? How could you destroy Yoona like this? Luhan wanted to kill Oh Sehun because of his selfishness. Why? Why couldn’t him just Love Yoona like Yoona loved him.

“What should I do Luhan? Why am I not Seo Joohyun? Why am I Im Yoona?” she asked him. “Why am I not enough?”

“Because Oh Sehun is stupid foolish bastard!!”

No! it wasn’t Sehun who is stupid, the stupid one is Im Yoona who keep hoping, who keep pretending that he will love her back, because in the end they stuck together right? In the end.

Can’t her keep pretending about the end? Keep waiting? Because it was one of the reason she wake up each morning, now it was only darkness. No more hope, no more butterfly in her stomach to meet him. Now it was only pain who she couldn’t bear anymore.

Can she say goodbye?

Sehun looked at Yoona who just sat down there in the class looking outside. She was perfect lady in Im famiy no...actually the perfect role model of the lady. Her deer like figure, straight pose and polite smile. She was beautiful, Sehun knew it.

He always thought that he could love her. But...he felt pain in his chest when he saw Yoona’s face she deserved someone else who love her wholeheart. Not someone who love someone else...

He wanted her to be happy with someone else not with him. Someone liked her deserve the whole universe. Was he so selfish? Was he? They didn’t even love each other right?

Was he wrong? But if he didn’t cancel the engagement both of them couldn’t be happy right? Yoona could find someone else who could make her happy.

He was honest with himself, but why he feel the pain? he just didn’t want to lie anymore, his sister was right.

The bell rang loudly, giving sign that the class finished, he stood hesistantly but his feet took him to Yoona side, “Hi.”

Yoona looked up to him. Then that hit Sehun, Yoona was crying before, he felt pang in his chest. “Hi, Sehun-ah.” She gave him a slight smile. “Do you want to talk?” her voice was so calm.

Even now she kept her calmness, Sehun nodded, “Can we talk somewhere else?” he asked her. He just didn’t know what he want to talk, it became so awkward, but they never really talk to each other. But Yoona deserved hear it from him, right?

Yoona hesistate but then nodded. “Do you have place to go?”

Sehun gulped, “I know.” He whispered, he didn’t know but his gut told him to go there, no one else would be there. And that was the only place that suit for both of them. “Follow me.”

They walked in the silence toward the parking Lot and drove away from school. before none of them ever skip the school but none of them care enough for now, they just needed place to be alone.

Sehun stopped to the garden of one of the hotel belong to one of investor both of them walked toward the fountain behind it, the place was so calm and noone else there. That was one of the place they had to be together in party.

Sehun led Yoona to the bench, but they didn’t sit. Sehun looked around, the park it had no decoration anymore, just a simple lamp beside the bench. And the fountain.

“I’m sorry.” Sehun surprised Yoona with his voice.

“For what?” Yoona’s voice was so soft almost liked whisper.

Sehun shut his eyes, “If I’m hurt you.” Sehun said to her. “I’m really sorry. I don’t want to...”Sehun tried to find the right words, “hurt you. I don’t want you to cry.”

“why?” Yoona whisper her question again.

Sehun shook his head, “I don’t know, but I never want you cry Yoona. I hate seeing you cry, because..” he looked away, “I never see you cry, you always strong and smiling. I think you are undefeatable, so full of pride.”

Yoona wanted to believe that he was true, that she was undefeatable, she was strong. Yes, she was strong, she could talk this out without tears anymore, she could calmly discuss this. “Can you reconsider your decision again for our family?”

Sehun shook his head, “My sister said that our happiness is more important than our business.”

“And you say?”

“I believe the same things.” Sehun said, “I always think we can learn to love each other later.”

Then? Yoona wanted to tell him that she already loved him so much, she could wait until Sehun loved her back. but Yoona keep shut, “Then it’s lie. I lie to myself, we can’t force love, that what I learn. I am coward, because I take our engagement as granted. I don’t know that we both become so unhappy, you deserve someone who will love you like you are his whole worlds not me.”

Yoona choked her tears, “why aren’t you?” she asked him. “We can get marry later, we can learn right?” she was grateful her voice hadn’t crack yet.

Why she keep holding his hope up? She was so stupid, but she didn’t want to let go that feeling yet. Yoona felt it, once this feeling gone she and Sehun was no longer fiancee, just a friend. She couldn’t bear yet to be a stranger, knowing that Sehun was once hers.

“I don’t think I can.”

Then Yoona’s world crumbled once again, he can’t. “Why?”

Why? Yoona couldn’t be so stupid right? Why? Yoona wanted to ask him, “Am I not beautiful? Am I not smart enough? Am I not polite enough?”

Sehun shook his head, “You are perfect.”

But I am not Seohyun.

Yoona felt the first tears fell down to her cheeks, she wanted to scream it, but she was afraid if she said it loud enough then it would become true. “I’m perfect then we can...”

“No we can’t.” Sehun shook his head, “I can’t. I am coward enough before, I keep this engagement just because I think it is what people expect from me, but it hurts Yoona-ah. It hurts when I keep lying.”

Yoona-ah. He called her Yoona-ah, she had to be happy, they spoke casually but that nick name just stab her heart more. Hurt. That was the only feeling that Yoona could feel.

Why? Why Sehun just called her that when they were no longer be fiancee?

“Then it’s not hurt now?”

Sehun looked up to Yoona, and shock seeing the tears on her cheeks, then it strucked him. The pain in his chest increased, no, it hurts more now. “Don’t..Don’t cry.” He told her softly, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Don’t cry for me.”

Yoona felt the care in Sehun voice hurt her more. Don’t cry? How could she not cry? Told her! How to stop this tears? “Why?”

“Because I don’t deserve it. I am a coward Yoona...I can’t admit my own feeling, I am not worthy because I love someone who I shouldn’t love!!” he exclaimed.

Love? Was it too deep? Yoona bit her lower lips when her first sob out, she closed with her palm. Sehun wanted to step foward when Yoona held one of her hand to stop him. “Is...” Yoona gulped, “she Seohyun?”

Sehun looked at her in disbelief, but he couldn’t deny it, he didn’t want to deny it anymore, he closed his eyes before nodded slowly.

Then it all came to her, Yoona felt a huge hammer hit his heart, a hole over there, she knew it all along but hearing it from Sehun’s mouth made it all came true. she lost it, she was a mere stranger now to Sehun. she was nothing to him..

“Please don’t cry, Yoona-ah.” Sehun pleaded, “It hurts me!”

Yoona looked at him, “Then tell me how to stop it?” Yoona asked him, “It hurts me also. It hurts!!” Yoona hit her own chest, “I can’t breath! What should I do? what should I do? I want it go away!!”

Sehun wanted to hug her! He really wanted to hug her, to took the pain away? But how? When he was the cause of her tears? He was the cause of her pain.

Sehun grabbed Yoona’s hand, “Hit me!! Hit me until it go away!!” he told her, “I make you pain, then hit me!!” he said to her, he couldn’t bear to see Yoona hurt herself. “How much it pain you? Give it to me!!”

Yoona looked up to him, to his handsome face. the cold poker face that she would miss the most, the face that become stranger later on. He would be Oh Sehun, the heir of Oh. not Oh Sehun, Yoona’s fiancee. The face that she loved.

The wall, the pride that she held broke. She let out her cry, no longer could bear the pain. she just wanted it go away with the tears. Sehun Wrapped Yoona to his arm and hug her. He leaned his chin on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry!! I’m sorry!” he chanted it. he knew that he deserved each pain he felt but why hearing Yoona’s muffled cry hurt him more? Why? Why he had to hurt her just to be honest for himself? Why? Why Yoona had to cry? Why honesty was such a cruel things?

Both of them knew that once they left this park, they would no longer a fiancee, they would be a normal stranger. They knew once this painful hug over, they had to say good bye. The silence became their silence witness of goodbye.

And both of them learn that no goodbye is sweet.

I'm really really sorry for the late update...I should put the story on hiatus actually...

and believe me I get really good reason this time, well I prepare for college and then bam I have beem hospitalized 2 weeks

added with chinese new year, and the busy day, yeah, I got ill again, my typhoid came again, the doctor said I'm exhausted, stress and irregular eating.

I lost my weight again and yeah now I am okay...

hope this story still attract you guys, I will update as soon as I can.

Next chapter about flash back, still Yoonhyun and some SEohan.

give me many comment...

See yah!!