The night air hung cold. It was a lot colder while standing at the yard to watch Kris and Suho bid farewell to their teams. Goodbye has always been the hardest part. Leaving not just friends, but family as well.

It was so silent that you could only hear crickets. The wind passing by made you shiver and you only had to rub your arms for comfort.

As they exchange hugs, you swallowed the lump forming in your throat. Seeing them separated made your heart grew heavy.

“You don’t have to do this, y’know?” Yongguk whispered tenderly.

“I have to…” you forced a smile.

“Okay… I’ll wait by the fence…” he thoughtfully touched your head. “Take your time, Sehee.”

Then came Suho and Kris. They stood behind while gripping onto their backpacks, then came Chen and DO.

They kept their heads down and hugged you in an instant. “Take care, a’right? Don’t give Shin a hard time…” you rubbed their backs.

“We’ll be fine. It’s you who should be careful.” DO choked, then Chen broke down on your shoulder. “Miahnae… I just can’t help it…” he said. “I can’t be your lightning boy anymore.”

“Babo… You will always be my lightning boy.” you swallowed again. “Make sure I can see them from Mato. Okay?” he nodded.

DO pulled away and supported Chen back to the porch.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol walked coolly with hands in their pockets. But as you see their eyes glisten in tears, your heart burned.

You cleared your throat and took a deep breath. ‘Stay strong, Sehee…’ you blinked for the millionth time.

“Hey guys…” you hugged them.

“Hey…” was all Chanyeol could say. Then he pressed his lips on your shoulder and closed his eyes. He wanted to memorize your touch and warmth, the way you the back of his head while comforting him.

“You don’t have to worry about anything.” Baekhyun softly spoke. “I will look after Seri and Sehun like I promised.”

Hearing those names crumbled your pride. You wanted to keep a strong image but it’s just about to fade away.

“T-Thanks Baek…” you looked up to the dark sky in desperate need to stop your emotions.

They slowly walked back when Xiumin came with Lay.

Kris saw you dropping your head and shaking your hands, then clenching them into fists. He touched your arm. “You don’t have to go through this… It will be harder Sehee…”

“It’s okay…” you then breathed all the build from your lungs and shook away the burning tears from your eyes.

You reached out to Lay and Xiumin for an embrace, and relaxed your head on their shoulders. “Thanks Lay… I wouldn’t be here without you. You healed me so many times and I’ll forever be grateful for that.”

“It’s my job, Sehee… You don’t even have to say that.” he kissed the side of your head. “I won’t be there for you anymore, so you have to be careful, okay?” you nodded and closed your eyes when his words weakened you even more. “Don’t let blood be your weakness. Let it be your strength.”

“I will…” your jaws quivered.

Your shoulder grew damp when you heard Xiumin sobbing. His voice shook terribly as he spoke. “I will explain everything to Shin. I’m pretty sure he will understand why you didn’t tell him.”

That single name made you swallow hard. “Thank you. Tell him I love him so much and I didn’t plan on saying goodbye to him coz I know he will never let me go…”

“Okay…”

Your heart could almost swell out of your chest. It was burning painfully and all the swallowing and looking away didn’t do any effect.

When you saw Tao pull away from Seri to approach you with Kai, you took another deep breath and fanned your face. ‘Oh God!’ you looked up and blew out an air.

“I’ll be with Yongguk…” Suho bravely tapped Kris’ arm and walked away. He had it. He knew how much you were holding it in and he felt worse.

Seeing the two people your sister ever loved melted your heart. Looking glum as they can ever be, they hugged you bursting in tears.

Kris gripped his bag and looked away.

“Aren’t you suppose to be strong for my sister?” you tearfully said.

“Dui bu xi…” Tao squeezed you tighter. “I can be strong for her all I want but I just can’t see you leave. You are my sister too. I’m dying just like them.”

“You have to be stronger than that, Tao. I need you and Kai to be there for her. Seri is very weak right now. She needs all of you.”

“What about you? Don’t you need us?” Kai’s tears fell one by one. “How can you be so strong?” he said.

“I’m not, Kai… I’m not as strong as you think…” your emotions ran wild and out came your tears pouring like a rain. “The love that you all gave me is what keeps me going…”

You pulled away and looked at them. “Take care of my sister. I love her so much that’s why I’m doing this…” you then reached out to each of their faces. “Take care of my brother like I would.” and kissed their cheeks. “I love you…”

“I love you Sehee…” Tao whispered as they hugged you again.

“I love you…” Kai added.

They both pulled away and Tao signaled for Seri to come over.

As she staggered away from the porch, there you saw your brother sitting on bended knees and sinking his face in it. ‘Sehun-ah…’ you looked down and let your tears reach the ground.

Kris held your trembling shoulders. You placed a hand over his hand and looked back up. Seri ended up clinging onto Tao’s side while looking at you with swollen eyes, dripping in tears.

“Aren’t you coming over here?” you stretched your arms out.

“No…” she pouted. “Coz you’re gonna leave anyway…”

“I have to, sis…” you cried when a bomb exploded in your chest. All those days trying to be strong came down the drain just like that. “I hope you’d understand that. I’m so sorry…”

As you dropped your arms and head, Seri lunged to you and tightly wrapped her arms around you. “Unnie…” she bawled on your chest. “Don’t go… Mom already left us… Now you? Don’t do this to me…”

“Seri-ah…” you cupped her face and she looked at you. “Mom never left us. She has always been with us! Right here…” you pointed her chest.  “Whatever happens, wherever I go, whoever comes in our way… We are sisters forever!” she tearfully nodded. “This is the time where you have to be strong. Do it for Sehun. He needs you! Can you do that for me?”

Seri nodded once again and stepped back. With all the regret and pain in her heart, she carefully removed her necklace. The crescent moon and panda pendant no longer dangled around her neck, but on yours when she fixed it around you. “I guess you need that as proof.”

You clutched it together with your own necklace and looked at the four pendants on your palm. “Two moons, a panda, and my heart… Just what I needed.” you murmured.

As you raised your head, the three of them disappeared and the most angelic face on earth surfaced. “Luhan…” you courageously smiled and wiped your tears.

“Don’t do that, Sehee… That smile…” he swiftly cupped your face and pressed his forehead on yours. “You’re just making it harder for me.” he closed his eyes. “Don’t say anything. I know how much you love me. I know how crazy you are for me.” you laughed and cried. “I just want to enjoy every bit of you.”

With that, Kris moved back. You and Luhan stood in the middle, holding each other, feeling each other. Thin snow melted under your feet, crickets hummed a lovely tune, stars shined above you.

After what seemed like forever, Luhan inhaled deeply and kissed your lips. You melted in his touch and your tears flooded your face. His tears also dripped. All the sorrow and misery came down his eyes.

But Luhan enjoyed you like he will never see you again. He pulled you even more, his lips praising yours, worshipping you, cherishing you, kissing your entire being, surrendering himself to you.

“I love you so much, Hwang Sehee!” he murmured while gazing deeper into your eyes. “You and I are meant to be. No one can tear us apart and we will be together…”

“Forever…” you whispered.

He hugged you for the last time. “Come back to me… That’s all I’m asking…”

“I will…”

There’s only one person left to say goodbye. When you thought there’s nothing more to give, when you thought your heart had sunk in the pits of your stomach, when you thought your eyes have gone dry, seeing your brother from a distance, was more than enough to pull every strength and energy you have.

You broke away from Luhan and dragged your feet towards the porch.

Sehun sat still. He never spoke a word. He wouldn’t even look at you.

“Sehun?” you kneeled in front of him and touched his arms. He remained silent. All you can hear were dagger-like sobs that hurt your ears. “I’m leaving…”

“THEN GO!” he bitterly yelled.

“But I can’t… I can’t leave you like this…” you wiped a tear.

DO and Lay looked up while blowing out an air. Baekhyun moved back. Seri sunk her face on Tao’s chest.

“What do you care? You’re leaving us anyway! GOOO!!!” his arms shook terribly.

You dropped your hands in surrender and stood. “I love you, Sehun…” you bent and kissed his head.

Tears kept dripping down your face even as you turned. Leaving with a heavy heart was unbearable. Walking away with an urge to stay was painful.

“NOONAAA!!!” Sehun came running towards you and hugged you.

You turned to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Sehun-ah… We didn’t have the privilege to grow up together but I want you to know that you will always be my brother. I’ve known you in just a short period of time but the memories will last a lifetime.”

“Me too.” he bawled on your shoulders. “I love you, my noona…”

“I love you too…” you cupped his face and wiped his tears. “Take care of Seri, okay? She needs you right now.” you then signaled for you sister. “Seri-ah… Can you come over here?” she left Tao and joined you. “Love each other. Take care of each other.” your jaws quivered. “…and always remember that a sister loves you dearly.” your chest exploded once again. “I love you soooo so much…” you hugged them.

“We love you too…” Sehun replied.

You pinned an image of your brother and sister after closing your eyes. ‘Umma… Appa… Please look after them…’ you then pressed your lips on each of their cheeks.

A portal suddenly appeared by the fence. “I have to go… Remember what I said, a’right?” you inhaled deeply.

“Unnie…” Seri’s voice grew hoarse.

“Noona…” Sehun cried.

The rest of Exo stood behind them. Tao reached out to Seri and hugged her, while Baekhyun held Sehun’s shoulders.

“Goodbye…”

You turned and walked away.

“NOOONAAAA!!!” Sehun yelled while reaching out desperately, Baekhyun and Chanyeol restrained him.

“UNNNIIEEEE!!!” Seri screamed, Tao hugged her tighter.

Your tears dropped on the ground as you fought the urge to look back.

“DON’T GOOOO!!!” your brother pleaded.

You saw Kris wiping his tears. The last person you thought you could get some strength from just gave up.

Another voice came off in a bid for you to stay. That did it, you turned.

Luhan came running towards you. You instinctively ran to him also.

The two of you met halfway and he caught you in his arms. You drained your remaining tears on his shoulder while he held on to you like his lifeline. “Luhan… I’m so sorry if I have to leave…” you croaked. “I’m so sorry…”

“Sshhh… It’s okay, babe. I understand. We all do!” he ran his fingers through your hair. “It’s missing you that’s killing us.” he sniffed. “So don’t stay too long okay?”

“Neeehhh…” he then slowly pushed you. “I’ll be here waiting… Until whenever…”

You nodded and kissed him once again. You both savored the moment and pinned an image of each other.

“Goodbye… my LuLu…”