Song: Ashily - Lucky

Have you ever felt like you hate your life? The feeling that nothing is right, nothing is in its right place.

You have a path to walk on, but it’s not a path that you’ve dreamed of. When you are a child, you feel like the whole world is in your fist, there is absolutely nothing that you can’t do. You build an exciting life for yourself in your head where you can be an adventurer who travels the whole world, where you can be a doctor who saves lives, or where you can be a pop star that everyone knows your name.

Growing up, I realize that it’s not simple to achieve childhood dreams. Not everyone has the courage to follow her or his dreams.

It’s one of those days that I feel that way. I hate living the same day as yesterday. I hate to talk to same people every day. I hate to eat the same food every day. I hate to hide my feelings and smile like I’m fine every day.

But what can I do? Being grown up means that you have to do things you hate, every day.

I throw myself on my bed. My phone rings and I see Hoseok’s face on ringer call. I even don’t feel like talking with my best friend too.

“Hello?” I pick up, trying to sound normal.

“Hi Hi Hi!!! How are you doing baby?! Did you have a nice day?” Hoseok’s always happy and excited voice greets me from other side of the line.

“Fine, it was normal.” I reply shortly and try to change the subject to him. “What are you doing? Where are you?”

“I’ve just got home from practicing… and… I’m searching refrigerator for food.”

Hearing the sound of his refrigerator closing, I can imagine him in his kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok asks sweetly.

“Nothing…” I feel burden while trying to sound normal.

“Is something bothering you? What’s wrong? Did anything happen?”

I can feel his sudden change of tune and I know by now he is so concerned about me but I don’t want him to know I’m sad.

“Nothing, I’m just tired. I’m planning to sleep.” I say while trying to hide my soulless voice with fake yawns.

“Are you sure?”

“Uhm… I’m too sleepy… Good night Hoseok-ah…” I end the call with my perfect acting. Gosh, I need to get an Oscar for this!