Jinsuk and I spent lunch together in the cafeteria. “It’s great seeing you here sis!” she munched on a bowl of jajangmyeon. “Mhmmm…” while I played with my pasta on the plate and stared at it. “What’s wrong? Tell me!”

“I dunno sis… I’m so confused right now. I can’t understand what my brain wants me to think…” I sighed.

She then grabbed her bowl and moved over to my side. “Yah! Is this something about Jongin and Sehun?” and I slowly nodded.

“Are you telling me that you love Jongin as well?” she raised an eyebrow. “You know I love him. Even way before…” I sighed.

“That’s easy sis! Johnny Depp once said, if you love two people at the same time, choose the second one… ‘Coz if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn’t love another.” she twirled her chopsticks in the air.

“The thing is, neither of them is the first nor the second.” I placed my fork down and pushed my plate forward.

“Nah, I don’t think so… You’re just trying to convince yourself that you love them both just as much.” she then held my shoulders and we faced each other. “You’re being selfish right now. Sehun and Jongin don’t deserve to be in a half-relationship. Yes, you can love two people at the same time, but never to the same degree. Put yourself in their shoes? How would you feel if you share the same guy with another girl?” and I dropped my head.

It dawned on me. I know that our hearts are capable of some insane , and this is probably one of the worst imaginable positions to be in. “But I don’t wanna lose any of them!” I crossed my arms on the table and sunk my face in it.

“Sunmi-ah, you’re never gonna lose them! Trust me! Your friendship and love for each other are too strong and deep. You should know it by now!” she rubbed my back. “Yeah, I guess so…” I mumbled.

“Hey… Come here sweetie…” she pulled me and hugged me. “Love is not all rainbows and unicorns, but it’s there to make us realize how much we can give, and how much we can share. Take it easy! Don’t complicate things!”

“Komawo Jinsuk-ah…” I smiled. “Anything for you Sunmi…” and she slowly pushed me. “Now who’s the best kisser?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

My eyes moved from left to right and cupped my mouth to her ear. “Jaejoong oppa… Kekeke~” I snickered.

“MWOH???” she stood and the students stared at us. “YOU KISSED JAE…” I quickly raised my hand to cover . “Yaaahhh!!! Aish!”

Jinsuk sat back down and shoved my hand away. “Holy Batman and Robin! Yah, Sunmi! You kissed Kim Jaejoong?” she sneered. “N-Nehhh…” I cowered like a turtle.

“You’re such a bad girl! Kyaaa~” she pinched the bridge of her nose while looking up. “But good job!” she elbowed my side and we giggled like normal girls would. “By the way, did you know that Kris and Tao went back to China?”

“MWOH???” I stood this time and the students stared at us. Jinsuk grabbed my arm and pulled me down. “They were in a hurry that’s why they weren’t able to see everyone before they left… It was Luhan who told the guys…”

“Ahhh… How long are they staying there? And did they tell why?”

“Three days, and Luhan said that Kris will be the one to explain when they get back.” we continued eating this time.

----------

Sunmi walked an empty hallway after separating with Jinsuk. She was headed to one of her classes when she saw Sehun standing against a wall. He looked troubled and demoralized, but his face lit up after seeing her. He moved one step forward and Sunmi faltered one step backward. Their eyes met for one bit, but she quickly turned.

She quickened her pace away from him. He lengthened his strides towards her. “Sunmi-ah, please! Let’s talk!” he finally reached his hand on her shoulder. “Not now Sehun… Not now when my mind is in rebellion.” she stood still without facing him.

“Let me see you then? Just this once! I wanna see your eyes, your smile… Lemme see your face, Sunmi. That’s all I ask…” his voice shook.

Sunmi slowly turned and her dark cold eyes stabbed him. Her stare pained him. It shivered him. “Do you really hate me that much? Huh Sunmi? Can’t you have a little faith in me?” he walked again and she stepped back.

“Stop it Sehun! Just stop!” she raised her palm towards him. “Faith? I gave you everything, Sehun! Everything that I have!” she forcefully pressed her finger to his chest with every word she spoke.

“Sunmi-ah… Let me explain…” Sehun begged while holding her shoulders.

“Don’t touch me!” she shoved them away. “Explain what? How you enjoyed ing that crazy ? How good it felt when you finally get to a girl?” her rage burned his veins. Her accusations slashed his heart into bits.

“NOTHING HAPPENED A’RIGHT? HOW CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE THAT?” his fury intensified the blaze in her belly.

“DON’T ING YELL AT ME! BASTARD! IT’S YOU WHO CHEATED ON ME!” she retaliated.

“OH REALLY? LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU SPENT THE NIGHT WITH JAEJOONG HYUNG! GOD KNOWS WHAT YOU TWO DID!”

Sunmi froze. He totally doesn’t have any idea about their kiss yet it haunted her. It bit her right in the . “So this is how it’s gonna be? Sorry to disappoint you, but nothing happened! FYI... I’m still a !” she mocked and glared at him with slitting eyes.

“Please Sunmi. Let’s stop this! I can’t take it anymore!”

“Me too Sehun! I’ve had it! I’m tired of all this already!” Sunmi turned again and attempted to run but Sehun grabbed her wrist. Next thing she knew, she was being pinned against a wall. “Listen to me, goddamnit! I swear to you with all my heart and soul… With everything that I have… I DID NOT TOUCH HER!” he snarled.

“How can you tell? You were stoned out of your wits! Do you even understand that?” she smirked with insults.

“What do you want me to do then? You refuse to listen to me! You wouldn’t even look at me!” he gripped her wrist tighter.

“I dunno... You tell me?” she smirked.

"URRGGHHH SUNMI! HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUBBORN!" he raised his fists in the air.

Sehun pulled away and walked a few steps back. He clasped his hands behind his head while looking at the ceiling, and blowing out an air. “How can you give up so easily? Why does it seem so easy for you to do it?” he paced but suddenly stopped. “Is it because of Jongin? That bastard finally got your heart now? Huh? Is that it?” and he went back to pin her again before she escapes. “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LOVE ME FOR ME? JUST ME? WHY DO I HAVE TO SHARE WITH HIM? WAAEEEE??? OR DID YOU EVEN LOVE ME? HUH???”

“ YOU!” she started slamming her fists of frustration on his chest. “HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME? I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE! I GAVE YOU MY HEART! MY WORLD! NOTHING WAS LEFT OF ME! How could you Sehun?” Tears flowed down her cheeks. “I hate you! I ing despise you!”

“I’m sorry Sunmi… I’m really sorry…” he loosened his grip and wiped her tears.

“Don’t touch me!” she shoved his hands and sprinted away from him.

Sehun crashed his fist on the wall, breaking his phalanges. He was too numb to feel it. His adrenaline levels soared. ‘Sunmi-ah… Come back… Don’t go…' he slid down the wall and drew his knees closer to his chest.

Sunmi wiped the pool of tears that blurred her vision as she ran. Her feet functioned and it never stopped. She finally reached the only place that provides her peace. The door opened after she knocked, then she staggered on her way in. “Oppaaaa…” she dropped on Jaejoong’s arms.

“Yah! Sunmi! What happened?” he shook her but she was despondent.

“Can I stay for a while?” she cried and he carried her up..

“Of course!” he lowered her on a couch. “What happened? he kneeled in front of her and tucked strands of hair behind her ear. “Oppaaa…” she weeped. Not a single word escaped . All she could do was cry and all Jaejoong could do, was watch, painfully. “It’s okay… Oppa is here…” he her cheek and she drifted to sleep.