Title (3/5):
First off, the title is very long. A little too long if you ask me.

Not only that but "Phoenix - You're burning in my heart" should be "Phoenix - You're Burning in my Heart", I think the title of just Phoenix could have worked honestly since this title is a mouthful and a half. I understand why Phoenix is in the title, the description clearly explains why, but as for the rest of it - I do think it's not necessary to have a title that long but that's just me.

Description/Foreword (8/10):
I found a few minor typos/weird grammatical errors in the description portion.

E.G.: Is he a maffia member? And why Baekhyun feels like someone is watching him? 
Fixed: Is he a mafia member? And why does Baekhyun feel like someone is watching him? 

Moving on from that since I will put most of the grammar stuff in the writing section, I think the description is fairly decent besides that. I do kind of like that you ask questions at the end to make the readers think about what may happen. I think you have a very captivating description and that's good since the description is what make people read the first chapter.

Whether or not the story lives up to the captivation of the description is what I'm about to find out but I have high hopes for the story in general.

Plot (50/50):
The plot is actually pretty interesting and I'm curious to what's going on behind the scenes with Chanyeol, Kai, Chen, and Kyungsoo and why they have to protect Baekhyun. I can clearly see the plot's conflict here, which involves the whole protecting Baekhyun stuff, and I'm curious to see how Chanyeol's and Baekhyun's relationship progresses as the story progresses, if it does progress that is (I'm sure it will). I'm actually quite curious to what is going on and, truthfully, it's been awhile since I've read a ChanBaek/Baekyeol chaptered fanfiction so it's nice to see one with a interesting concept. 

There's not much for me to criticize here since the plot is headed in the right direction and I'm curious to see how the conflict will be solved in the end and if Baekhyun and Chanyeol will have some kind of relationship by the end of it or not. There weren't many plot twists but the concept of Chen, Kyungsoo, and Kai all being in on the thing with Chanyeol was something I didn't expect so I'm curious to what'll go down. 

Writing Style/Flow (16/20):
There were a few grammatical issues here and there, some very minor, but I figured I'd point them out anyways just so you know. Changes will be marked in red.

1. Commas missing
E.G.: The glowingly red-haired male is mysterious, boastful and seemingly mannerless despite of his situation
There should be a comma after the word boastful since this is a list of things. 
Fixed: The glowingly red-haired male is mysterious, boastful, and seemingly mannerless despite of his situation
-
E.G. 2:  Baekhyun doesn't even suspect that after their encounter he can say bye to his peaceful, uneventful life. 
Fixed:  Baekhyun doesn't even suspect that after their encounter, he can say bye to his peaceful, uneventful, life. 

2. Placing words in wrong spots, making the sentence sound odd.
E.G.: "I don't know what are you talking about."
While this sentence could be correct with a comma and a question mark, that isn't the context you were going for. Because the are and the you are in the wrong spots, the sentence sounds odd.
Fixed: "I don't know what you are talking about." 

3. Missing punctuation before ending the dialogue.
E.G.: "Nice" he nodded. "At least four million, if I am correct."
You do this a few times but after the word nice, you would have put a comma. 
Fixed: "Nice," he nodded. "At least four million, if I am correct."

4. Lack of spacing
There's a bit of space problems and by that, I mean this: 

"Really?" the younger tilted his head curiously.
"What is he making?" "I have no idea" the girl shrugged "but when I left the kitchen, it seemed like a red velvet cake to me. Why are you searching for him?"
"Ah, I need to leave earlier, because one of my professors decided to make up for a missed lecture this afternoon. I just read it in the email."
"Look, just tell the others about it and go, we will be alright since we have Wheein and Jongin here, too. I will tell Baekhyun about it later when he is not preoccupied with baking. I'm certain he would let you go, anyway" she smiled reassuringly and Taehyung almost instantly lighted up.
"Thank you so much!"

There should be more spacing in between them. Like this: 

"Really?" the younger tilted his head curiously.

"What is he making?" "I have no idea" the girl shrugged "but when I left the kitchen, it seemed like a red velvet cake to me. Why are you searching for him?"

Since it's easier to read it when there's spaces. If that makes sense.

---

While I do think this is fairly well written, there are some words that even I couldn't understand and I had to google them. Words such as edifice, narcotize, throe, and so on are not used in English normally. You wouldn't say edifice instead of building, if that makes sense. I feel like using words that aren't used in English often will confuse people, such as myself, and they might not know what you're trying to get across. But not going to lie, you really impressed me with the wide vocabulary so honestly, good job. 

Though, why would you use a gif in a story? I mean, books don't use pictures (unless it is a picture book for kids but you know what I mean) but I just found it strange since you described the dream with words but then added a gif. I get that it adds visual appeal but... writing isn't about visuals, it's about words.

Besides this, you had very good detail and description so there's not much to say besides minor issues that were easy to ignore since they were minor and not a big deal.

Characterization (10/10):
I'll start off with Baekhyun's character. His character isn't the generic Baekhyun you see in a lot of these EXO fanfics which is nice to see. A lot of people seem to make him snobby for some reason (or maybe I just see all the snobby Baekhyun fanfics by chance) but I like how you made his character and you showed his passion for cooking which was nice to read, especially since you put details into the whole thing. 

Chanyeol's character is pretty mysterious and I wonder if he will develop a soft spot for Baekhyun considering he refused to leave without the phoenix cake Baekhyun did (that scene made me snort) but I liked him in the prologue since it showed how merciless and dangerous he could be. I think you presented his character rather well and I'm looking forward to see him progress.

Personal Enjoyment (5/5):
Personally, I enjoyed it and I'll be keeping up with future updates because why not? The way you write is pretty good and I love the detail you take the time to add. It makes the story more compelling especially since you're teaching me new words LOL. Besides that, I do still have a bit of a soft spot for Baekyeol so I'm curious to see how they progress in this story. 

Total (92/100):
Overall, there isn't much wrong with this story since it's headed in a good direction so far. Keep up the good work honestly, there wasn't much for me to really criticize besides some grammar issues which were easy fixes.