info

review

部分1

let's not fall in love
story link: here

部分2

author
parksomin_

部分3

reviewer
vecember

部分4

TITLE.
for the title, i would fix the capitalization. it's kind of hard for me to do on this font but i'll mark the letters that should be capslocked in white. "let's not fall in love". anyways, as a title -- it's kind of generic and i've seen it before. it's nothing unique really and a tip would be to remove "kim taehyung" from the title because the characters are already in the tags :)

DEscription/foreword.
these are a little sloppy and things are kinda scattered. i would put the a/n in the foreword and keep all the story description stuff in the description. (if you need help with that, i can totally help more haha) just so it looks neater. 

as for the story related stuff, the description is taken from the song i'm assuming. i can see why the story is called "let's not fall in love" since it is the song title which is a nice connection (idk why i didnt notice it earlier duh)

the only thing i found weird was "but i've never had my heart wrangled, ripped out all at once." i would have added an and between the wrangled and ripped part. like "..wrangled, and ripped out all at once." 

another one in the foreword was "carrying a kind of gloom along with it, one i cant quite put my finger on it." the 'it' makes it sound awkward. so it would be "carrying a kind of gloom along with it, one i can't quite put my finger on." 

PLOT.
when it comes to writing a story like this, there's no way to avoid any cliches. this story does have it's cliches and i personally don't like cliche'd stuff since i've read it several times before. the food fight kind of threw me off since people usually never do that in a public place (unless they want to be arrested) so that was just weird haha. makes me sad there's never been a food fight at school before. anyways, if there are plot twists that will make this different from the others, i wouldn't know since i can't read minds (wish i could tbh) but i feel like in the beginning, we all write cliche stuff. i know i did, now i try to shy away from that habit but i fail most of the time. 

WRITING STYLE/FLOW.
There were a few issues with caps. some "i"'s weren't capitalizied, some were. some apostrophe's were missing from words like "can't". 

the spacing in the chapters is a bit weird but can be easily fixed. it seemed kind of cramped together and it should be spaced out more at some parts. some of the grammar is wonky but that's okay since english isn't the first language. the usage of caps to express loudness was a bit weird to me but i've seen it done like that plenty of times before. 

another small issue was the dialogue of two people sometimes was in one paragraph which can get confusing. the use of sound effects like "* pish *" seemed very off. usually describing the sound is better instead of making it seem like we're roleplaying since people use * or / for actions.

the font size in chapter two increased way too much and actually made me pause haha. i would keep the font and font size consistent. then third chapter goes back to a different font size too so that needs to be fixed (well chapter two does with the font size being so huge).

for the flow, the changing of the pov's in the third chapter kinda ruined any type of flow since it's jumping from person to person. 

CHARACTERIZATION.
the inner thoughts sound too much like a conversation. "omg what were they doing" the use of omg is very off in a fanfic and "oh my god" would have been better for jiyeon's inner thoughts. the characters are kind of everywhere throughout the story so far and it's hard to really know what to get from them. jiyeon is the only one we really really "know" since she's supposed to be the main character.

PERSONAL ENJOYMENT.
this isn't my type of story, one because i don't like straightness since i'm ultimate taegi trash (lmao) but mainly because of the cliches. it jumps around a lot as i said too but there's always room for improvement of course. as i said in pm, i tried to really review what you had since of course, i am no mind reader and i can't tell what you'll do in the future. you could plot twist this big time and i'll never know haha. i tried to be as helpful as i could but if you need any help my pm is right there. 

as for the grammar, it's not really that bad. just a few things here and there. pretty good if you ask me haha but no really, if you need anything just lemme know in pm while we're dying over bts haha