Title:
I'm going to assume that you do know what I'm going to say about the title and that is that it's not original nor very eye-catching. You did say you were waiting to change the title, which is why I won't say much else here, but as of right now; the title is a bit obvious to what is gonna happen (or what did happen before the story's revamp) but I think you already knew that so there's not much else for me to say here.

Description/Foreword:
The first thing I noticed and kind of went 'eh' at, is the list of characters. There's no need for them since the story will introduce them one by one. I say this a lot but books don't have a list of characters considering the fact that they introduce them through their words, not through pictures. I don't ever find the picture thing necessary because it seems like a waste of space and more scrolling time which is inconvienient since the story should tell you who is who, not a list of a "cast" since this isn't a movie, it's a story. Also, secondary was spelled wrong in the "Secondary cast" section and was spelled as "Secundary". And honestly, if you really want to keep the photos - delete the secondary cast part, they don't need to be there since the story shouldn't revolve around a secondary character, it's about the two main "casts" (though I would refer to them as characters as this isn't a movie).

As for the description itself, I wouldn't say it captivates me since I don't read these kind of stories but that's just for me personally. As someone who has been on this website for 4 years and has done reviews for God knows how long, I think I could see people liking that idea because people on this website like the more cliche plots. I mean, have you seen the featured stories? Half of them are very cliche and some aren't that well written (some are though, have you seen Baby's Breath? Bless my soul to Heaven.) So I do think you have a solid description.

The prologue had me stopping; like woah. The word "arduously" looked like it wasn't even English so I'm very impressed with your word usage. There was one thing in the prologue though that was a bit of a grammatical/word usage error. 

You said: "[...] and possibly lose the flight."
I would have written it as "[...] and possibly miss the flight." because usually, people say "I missed my flight" not "I lost my flight." It's like you lost the airplane somewhere.

Plot:
Okay so the first thing I noticed is the fact the prologue is the first starting sentences in chapter one which makes me wonder if it really needs to be listed as the prologue in the front. I can see why it's there but at the same time, I don't know. It would definitely seem odd without it in the first chapter though. (God, I sound so nitpicky please ignore me.) I had to do a take two though because I was like "why does this sound like I've read this before?" ('Cause duh, I did.)

Moving on from my nitpicky self that has to point everything out, I do think the mentioning of popular kids is always cliche as I never really had "popular" people in my school, just merely the socialites (who were nice to every damn person), the nerds (not hipsters), loners (me as ), and the s/es. I don't fully know how Korean schools work in terms of the people who attend and if popular people are a thing, as I've never been to one, but it's a very cliche thing since a LOT of fanfics use this.

Also, it was said the flight took nine hours but to get from South Korea, Seoul to Bangkok, Thailand is five hours and approx. seven minutes. Then it'd make more sense to go from Bangkok to Pattaya by bus which is about two hours and approx. twelve minutes. When I looked up Seoul to Pattaya, it said it would take at least fourteen hours which seems odd but that's Google, I guess. (Again, I am nitpicky as on details, please kill me now.) 

As for the plot as a whole, I don't think it's painfully cliche like some stories, it has it's cliches but honestly - doesn't every fanfic have it's cliches? Some more than others, yes, but this one has it's own style which makes it slightly more unique than others. I've never seen a story where they go to Thailand as a school trip so that was a nice touch to make this story stand out more. Now if you picked... I don't know, Jeju Island or something in Korea, there wouldn't be much uniqueness to it but you brought 'em to Thailand (lowkey sings Bangkok City by Orange Caramel).

Probably should've said this earlier but I didn't read all the chapters, despite the amount written down... but either way, I hopefully covered everything I wanted to.

*Writing Style/Flow:
First comment on this is that a 'you' point of view fanfic was definitely a bad idea because those stories, to try and put it semi-nicely, always . I haven't come across a good one yet on this website. I think you changing it to third point of view was a very good decision because you write in this point of view well (and it's the only one I am capable of writing in, I can't do first or second because they seem off).

I also think you making the chapters longer is better since you said the first chapter was only 500 words which is almost nothing so I'm glad you revamped this story.

There is a few mistakes, not much as I said below, like when Hyuna came over to Yoomin and Chanyeol and said "Thank you. So move to the other sit" which would obviously be 'seat' instead of sit.

There were times where I felt you left out a word or two, like in chapter two. "Please, only take the seat belts when the sign is green" which should be "Please, only take the seatbelts off when the sign is green." It's like they were telling them to just take the seatbelts and run, haha.

As for the questions you asked me:

Does it lure in readers?
Potentially, yes. I do think the writing style can lure people in because it is definitely well written with little to no mistakes in the story itself. If a story with childish writing, no offence to anyone of course, can draw people in - this definitely has the potential to because of how neat and tidy everything is within your writing.

Is it tiring?
Personally, I would say no. I think you wrote the story was very well and honestly, I don't want to imagine what it was like before because it is WAY better now and I can tell it is. The way it's written is very good and the pacing of everything is pretty good. 

Talking about the flow, I don't think the story goes that slow nor does it go too fast. Reading the first three chapters, at the time of writing this, I feel like everything is paced fairly well. I mean, it's good that they're in Pattaya by the second chapter because the story is supposed to be there and not in Seoul. Chanyeol and Yoomin already know each other which I think is good because then they're not complete strangers and it makes sense for them to talk here and there. I think it's nice that Chanyeol wants to get to know her and that even the character says she doesn't want to go too fast since they just met. 

*Characterization:
The first thing I liked about Yoomin is that she can't swim because that's relatable to a lot of people. I don't think I can swim (mainly because I never leave my house or go into a pool/the ocean) but off the bat, she's already relatable and just from chapter one, she doesn't seem like a ditzy, annoying, OC female character which makes me like her from the start. I do like how paranoid she is about not being able to swim because it does let her insecurities show which means she's not some cliche character that is a Mary Sue. No one likes a Mary Sue. 

I like how she thinks as well when talking to Sooyoung. She says that she doesn't want to rush because she just met him, or something similar to this, and I liked that small detail because not many female OC's think in this manner. It's always "oh my god, he's talking to me" kind of vibe which is beyond cringe so I'm glad your OC isn't like that type of person.

My main question is: why does everyone make Hyuna the / of the school? Is it the way she looks or - I don't know, I've seen her in that position many, many, times and I've always wondered why. I'm no Hyuna fan and I do think she's a bit.. over the top with her stuff but it must be her face. I'm just curious about this really. I guess there's always gonna be that one jealous y character.

As for Chanyeol, he seems like a nice guy and I think the way he was presented was rather well done. He treats Yoomin like she's one of his classmates and like a human being so that's respectable of him. I have a feeling their relationship will end up as something nice in the end.

Sooyoung's character during the part where she loses her phone is like... every teenager out there, I feel like. People are very attached to their cellphones these days so it's nice that you put that small scene in to add to the realism a bit.
 
Personal Enjoyment:
You know, this is a fairly decent story and I think it deserves a bit more recognition as it is well written. Sure there are a few mistakes here and there but half of the time, they're not even recognizable. Pretty sure the only reason I noticed is because I'm doing a review and I try to pay attention to every detail that I can to give you the best review possible. I wrote a lot for certain things and tried to focus more on the sections you asked me to which are the starred sections.

I might have forgotten something, if I did I am sorry - I'm horribly forgetful, but overall it's a pretty good story. I wasn't expecting too much from it just by the front but I never learn. Never judge a fanfic by it's front, I guess, because it turned out to be something quite enjoyable.