Silent Messenger by namu_jinan
VᴇʀꜱᴀEᴍᴇʀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ Archive。
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Title:
The title obviously relates to the story and that's quite apparent in the description since the doppelganger is his 'silent messenger' kind of thing. I think, overall, it's a pretty decent title but it's a hit or miss on the eye-catching part. Some people would be intrigued by the title, some wouldn't. As it's fitting, I think it's a good title for this story.
Description/Foreword:
Being fully honest, I'm kind of interested in what's going to happen. I've never seen a story on here where there's a doppelganger who is a messenger to tell him about something tragic. It makes me wonder if there's going to be a happy ending or not since these kind of stories can technically go both ways.
This part: "a doppelgänger ordoppelga(e)nger (/ˈdɒpᵊlˌɡɛŋə/ or /-ˌɡæŋə/;German: [ˈdɔpəlˌɡɛŋɐ], literally "double-goer")" looks a bit messy on the story though. You don't really need to include a lot of this stuff.
"a doppelgänger or doppelga(e)nger, literally a "double-goer")" would be better since I'm pretty sure a lot of people can't read this "/ˈdɒpᵊlˌɡɛŋə/ or /-ˌɡæŋə/;" gibberish. You don't need to mention it's German there since that's mention later in the description.
German, when it's mentioned a second time, needs to be capitalized. "Dopplegaenger is a german word." -> "Dopplegaenger is a German word."
Besides that, there's nothing wrong with the description.
Plot:
The first problem I had was the weird gif in chapter six. I don't know why a gif was used in the story, considering that it's not an author's note, so why is it there? I'd remove that since it's a work of writing, gifs/pictures shouldn't be used.
Moving on, I think the story was a bit scattered.
The conflict was clear and there's a resolve to end the story off: Sunggyu not going to Japan because he would die in a plane crash, so Woohyun tried everything to stop him and in the end, he stayed anyways. So that was good but at the same time, I felt as if the story, as mentioned before, was a bit scattered.
It's hard to explain but I feel as if the story was a bit confusing, for lack of a better word, at some points. It made sense as the story came to an end, in a sense, but at the same time it's just like "what?" But I won't go into it because changing the story now is pointless and in reality, it's fine the way it is.
The ending wasn't predictable, which is good, and you did kind of put a few plot twists in there to throw the reader off which is good. So, overall, the story was pretty good.
Writing Style/Flow:
Some things didn't have periods. Like the dialogue. "Our saviour" should be "Our savior." Because it's technically the end of a sentence and a lot of the dialogue didn't have periods after the last word.
The writing style was a bit simplistic. By this, I mean there wasn't much detail involved in a lot of things. Extensive detail, I mean. If that makes sense (I can't find the right way to word it...) but in other words, I mean that there wasn't much detail. Like for example: "Our saviour" Sunggyu muttered." There's not much detail here and you don't really get a feel for how he feels. Like: "Our saviour." Sunggyu muttered, feeling relieved over the fact that he can live another day." This is just an example but there's more detail here compared to what was actually written.
As for the flow, I feel like the story kind of went everywhere and due to the lack of description towards some things, I feel like that made the story seem to go a bit quick. No use crying over spilt milk though, so there's not much else to say here.
Characterization:
Characterization wasn't very strong here, really. I don't know if it was because of how short it really was (since, it wasn't that long it kind of seemed like - word count, that is) but you get the basics. Woohyun is worried about his friend Sunggyu and does everything to save him so, in other words, Woohyun is a good friend. I think his character was okay, not the most exciting character I've read about but he's just fine.
Sunggyu doesn't show up that much compared to Woohyun but you know that he's a business owner. A little stubborn (or a lot, really) and kind of a since he ignores Woohyun despite the man wanting to help him but in the end, it turns out all good so there's no complaints.
Personal Enjoyment:
For being semi-short, I'd say it was a pretty decent read. I mean, it was pretty unique I guess and I like Woogyu so there's not much of a lose here. Sure there could have been some minor improvements but let's be honest, a lot of stories can use improvement because nothing's perfect honestly, even if they're popular and 'seem' perfect. Anyways, thank you for requesting and if you have any questions, let me know.
Don't forget to credit the shop and I hope you have a good day!
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