info

review

部分1

dear you
story link: here

部分2

author
mintsugar73

部分3

reviewer
vecember

部分4

TITLE.
the title is okay, it's not compelling nor does it make me really want to click on it but it relates to the story which is what really counts. at first i was like eh, but after reading the description, you used the title in the description which can kind of show why the title is what it is.

DEscription/foreword.
So i was curious to find out how many years were in 7000 days and it's 19 years and 2 months so i'm wondering if she'll have to watch him for two more years or no, hah. as for the description itself i think it'd flow better if you got rid of the period after days. so it'll be "7,000 days but things get complicated.." but that's just me since i try not to start sentences with the word "but". another thing is the font size changes, i personally think all the fonts should be the same size to keep it consistent and neater looking.

as for the foreword, i think you should get rid of the character profiles. i've said this in other reviews years ago and i still stick by what i'm about to say. within a story, you'll be introduced to many different characters who make the story what it is. in a book, you'll never see "character profiles" because the author introduces them within the story. sure, this isn't a book but do you really need all of the characters on there? if you want to keep them, fine, but at least remove supporting characters as they are not main characters. it takes up too much space in the foreword and makes it look cluttered. plus as i said, as the story goes on we should be introduced to all the characters, you don't need to put profiles for them. the way i see it is usually people who aren't confident with their writing put them because they don't know how to introduce a character in a story. i've seen it happen and that's always been a no-go for me. i always turn away from stories with them. you can tell us their jobs and what they do within the story itself so the character descriptions are very much a no-no in my book.

PLOT.
just going to put a warning here: i'm very backed up on my own fanfic updates and i do have another review to do so i won't be reading all of the chapters, so if something happens past the chapter i read that contradicts something i say, please remember i haven't read them all! i read what i deem enough to talk about the plot!

moving on to the plot itself, I have read/skimmed up to chapter 5.
 
I like how the story starts, it's kind of compelling in a way. the fact that a voice has been waking him up at 5 every day and you start to learn a little about jungkook just by the first few paragraphs which is a good way to introduce the main character. i also like how you gave small background to the place jungkook hangs out since every school has a ghost story or two, even if they're complete bull. the ending of chapter one actually made me laugh because who the hell would jump out of a window thinking that. I can tell that taehyung is a little scatter brained in this but i guess that's okay, it gives him character. you can tell that taehyung knows about the angel and maybe it's the same one jungkook hears. who knows.

anyways, i'm not going to analyze the whole plot because that'd be a lot of ranting on my part but overall, the idea is good. not that cliche and even if the idea was overly cliche (which maybe it is), you made it seem unique through your writing and that's something to be appreciated. keep writing, you could definitely do something good with the story.

WRITING STYLE/FLOW.
not going to lie, your writing style is good and easy to read. there's not really any grammar mistakes that i noticed (but if i missed them then i am blind) but either way, the flow was pretty good.

CHARACTERIZATION.
Jungkook: main character, it's stated that he likes to be alone and that he's a "typical" city boy. In the first chapter you state that he likes to sit in the back of the classroom, that proves that he is a loner. that's another reason to not need a character profile. seems to have a bit of bad luck with avoiding people though, at least taehyung considering the kid pretty much landed on him.

taehyung: as i stated in the second section, character profiles are a turn off because really. what you wrote in the taehyung character description is pretty much told in the first chapter. you say he likes fantasy books, in the first chapter you say he only gave interest to things in books which makes the profile really not needed. i really wouldn't need to read the story to know what kind of character he is, although it's hinted that there's something off about him because no one knows "what" he is AND That'll probably be revealed later on in the story, i'm assuming. as i said above though, he is a little scatter brained.

jungri?: for her character profile, i don't see why it's needed. we know jungkook has a guardian angel and it's obviously her so it's not needed for it to be stated. in the story, you can explain what rule she broke instead of bluntly stating she broke a rule because then no one really needs to wonder why she got punished. the answer would be: oh, she broke a rule.

i'm only doing these characters because they're the mains, supporting characters can be important but not important enough for me to talk about. the main point i tried to get across was the pointlessness of the character profiles. you can keep them, you're the author, i'm only a peasant (lol) trying to give a (prob. ) opinion. either way, your characters aren't full out mary sue's which i can like. they don't feel too fake and some people can even relate to them so good job.

PERSONAL ENJOYMENT.
not bad, i think the idea could be nice and since i didn't read it all since i'm just everywhere right now, i think the story could be headed somewhere nice. i apologize for not reading all of it, i usually don't when there's more than 6 chapters since i feel like i'm on a time limit with things, rip. but hey, the story is pretty good. i think there can be some good things coming with it haha, also i hope i didn't sound too naggy with the character thing, i try to explain myself as best as i can but i always fail at it.... don't remove them just because of me though, pls. keep them if they make you happy because you deserve to be happy, yes? yes. good. 

anyways, happy new year (idk why i just wrote this but instead of deleting it i'll keep it lol), i meant to write thank you for requesting and i hope i was of some help and not a naggy reviewer. don't forget to credit the shop and i hope your story gets more recognition. :)