info

review

部分1

chances
story link: here

部分2

author
SMTownr

部分3

reviewer
vecember

部分4

TITLE.
the title is kind of generic but it does make you think "why are there chances involved?" or "who is giving who chances?" so that's good that it can make the reader think. good titles usually make people wonder, and although this is a title i've seen a lot, it's still okay as a title.

DEscription/foreword.
the description made me kind of go "what the hell?" because i'm assuming the narrator is a girl and it was stated that 'he' had hit her. it was surprising since guys shouldn't hit females unless it's in self defense (that applies to females too) but i guess it's a good way to build up suspense. i like the message being said though. about life being colorful if you make it colorful. the only thing i'd say is a little off for me is the fact that there's too many periods/dots after the world colorful and life. but other than that, it's not that bad.

PLOT.
for some weird reason, i never woulda thought that it was mark who slapped her. for some weird reason i thought it was going to be a story where she gets dumped and mark comes in but i'm glad it turned out this way because it's more of a unique plot compared to the other one. it's not the most unique plot i've seen around but it's not completely cliched.

The one thing i found unrealistic though was that the oc got slapped for dumping someone. guys usually wouldn't be the one to react like that in a situation, there might be yelling and such, yes, but unless they're that abusive, they wouldn't smack her. a girl is more dramatic than a male so that's why it'd be more believable if a male was slapped (life logic...)

WRITING STYLE/FLOW.
the writing is decent, though the use of the tabs/indent is weird for some paragraphs. some paragraphs are indented once, some twice or more, and some aren't indented at all. but besides that, everything is pretty good. there's also a minor typo in the first chapter. instead of month, you put monh. it's the 8th paragraph down. where she's going into the cafeteria. also the use of "coz" isn't really appropriate for a fanfic. it would be used as "cause"  

also the change from 1st to third person is usually a no-no. sticking to one pov is usually is how it should be. for haejin, it's first, for mark it's third.

anyways the flow isn't bad either, it's pretty good and i think it's got potential.

another thing though is that, when it comes to characters inner thoughts, i would italicize them so they can be differentiated. like "well thank you, i didnt know i was a "

CHARACTERIZATION.
as for the main character, haejin, i think her character seems a little forced. what she has isn't really a bad girl vibe, she's just plainly someone who seems like a who needs to fix herself. she doesn't have the deliquent vibe and she surely isn't a rebel. though she does seem kind of like a player in a way. she's dated a lot of guys, met one guy who seemed to change her then it went back to normal after they broke up, i've seen this song and dance before and it's not that original. 

mark's an okay character, obviously he's a bit out of character from the real mark which is totally fine, gives him better character within the story. i can see how being heartbroken can lead someone to act as mark is so that can probably be seen as relatable to a person with a severly broken heart.

PERSONAL ENJOYMENT.
not my kind of story really, i've seen these kind of stories before although most of the time it's the male who is in the oc's place in this story so i guess it's a nice change. i didn't read all the chapters since i'm behind in life and everything else apparently. i apologize if there's any inaccuracies in the review because of it but i'm just overly sleepy and dead from life. 

anyways, i hope i made some kind of sense because i'm lowkey half asleep at my laptop while going to shower at 2am, this is my life. asdfgh, don't forget to credit the shop and if you need anything clarified, i'll be there to answer any questions you have.