Title:
The title isn't that unique, I've seen it used for many different types of works and it really doesn't stand out. There's books, tv shows, fanfictions on this website even with that title and it's just not interesting and doesn't compell me (personally) to read it due to such a generic title. Since it's not fully based on Cinderella's original story (at least I hope it isn't), using a more creative title might've been your advantage. Like an example could be "Once Upon A ___" instead of using the generic "TIME", maybe you could have found a word that connected to the story, something that stood out more than the rest of the "Once Upon A" titles.

Description/Foreword:
The description I liked, it's like a twist on an already existing story. There's tons of different versions of Cinderella (Disney, the original, fanfic twists, stories used, movies, etc.) and I like that it's not 100% the same story as the Disney version (which is obviously the most popular there is). Just from the description, it seems like instead of Cinderella getting her prince charming, she wants to kill him instead, at least that is what I think is going to happen (just a prediction, really). Why she wants to kill him won't be known until further chapters quite possibly but it's something for people to think about. It was short and simple too which means not much of the story was given away, which is good.

Plot:
Since the plot is based off an existing story, there's not much to say about originality since the idea was not really your own on the concept of Cinderella but, this also really depends on how this story is executed. As there is only one chapter, I have no idea what's really happening as the first chapter wasn't really much nor did it give me any idea to what's genuinely happening, it was just a introduction from what it seemed like. Or a prologue. 

Writing Style/Flow:
I know I said this in your other review but I will just point it out again, there's way too many periods in your sentences.
Like: "Yes..." Ella said slowly "....coming..."
Instead of that, it'd be: "Yes," Ella said slowly, "coming." There would also be a comma after the word slowly because you're continuing what the character had said first which was "yes". 

It seems like the overuse of periods is the main issue within this and it's really not needed, sometimes they can be useful if your character is like "Are you ing kidding me..." because that shows that her tone is a certain way but always using it makes your character just seem like she hates life and that she sounds depressed all the time. I imagine their tones of voices to be very dull and not enthusiastic or energetic. They sound dead inside, like they're just a walking dead. You should refrain from using too many dots and possibly start using ! when you want your character to sound energetic or happy because as of right now they just all sound dead.

Another thing, I think there's a bit too much dialogue. Stories shouldn't be made up of too much dialogue or it's really not a story, it'll be like a script unless that's your goal which I really don't think it is.

Characterization:
Considering what I said above, your characters all sound dead inside, like they just don't want to be alive anymore. The dots really do impact the tone of your characters and they come off as dull which is something you don't really want for characters. Dull, boring, characters usually are a HUGE turn off for any story.

Another thing at the end when Ella says "It's great to have friends..." she sounds really sarcastic and legitimately dead inside. Kind of like Oka from Yandere Simulatior, or Eeyore (the donkey) from Winne-The-Pooh. Your characters all sound pessimistic, gloomy, depressed, anhedonic, dead to the world, kind of thing which is really not good. The tone very much depends on how a story is written and the way it's written so far makes everyone sound like depressed teenagers.

Sehun really sounds like he wants to just die, there and then. Same with Ella, she seems like she doesn't even want to be alive. So I would really, really, work on not using so many dots, plus it's less typing if you leave some dots out. I know you said it's a habit of yours when I commented on it last time but this is very, very distracting compared to the last story.

Though, I'm not saying you should change the way you talk outside of a fanfiction but while writing a fanfic, you shouldn't use that many. I can't stop reading the character's dialogue in a gloomy, despressed voice. They sound so of life in my head and it's kind of bothersome.

Personal Enjoyment:
I felt as if the characters/dialogue was the weakest part of this, the story idea isn't half bad at all. I like Cinderella and I like twists on the story she has that people come up with. This could be good if the characters didn't sound dull and dead on the inside. That would probably be something to fix because your characters are the MAIN part of the story, every story has at least one character and if ALL your characters are dull sounding, it can greatly impact the story outcome so that might be something you really want to look at.

If needed, there are betas all over AFF that may be willing to help you achieve this. I completely get that English is probably not your first language, which is completely okay, but if you want a more powerful impact with the story and better sounding characters, this needs to be fixed. Besides the period issue, I think the story could have potential if it's executed right as I said before.