info

review

部分1

breathe
story link: here

部分2

author
noonayoung

部分3

reviewer
vecember

部分4

TITLE.
the title is nice and simple and kind of does connect to the story. it seems like jihyo is breathing (obviously) but the way it's described through sighs and such shows she is trying to recollect herself and breathe normally. hopefully this makes sense (it's 3am please excuse me)

DEscription/foreword.
now if i'm thinking about this- the part where it says "good thing hanbin is there to ease her mind" is this a reference to the dream? like foreshadowing because if it is, then it's clever because a dream is technically something in your mind and if hanbin was in the dream, he really did ease her mind via dream world. so i thought that was clever.

PLOT.
Wow that ending though, i wasn't expecting it to be a dream in the end and i also wasn't expecting her to not answer the phone at the end.  that "cynical smile" though. damn. 

WRITING STYLE/FLOW.
The only thing I think is a bit off is the "Ji Hyo's announcement snapped him out of his hapless stupor." hapless means unfortunate. hanbin's thoughts aren't really unfortunate so it contradicts itself in a way. i would find a word to replace hapless.

another part is when jihyo calls hanbin a hoobae. "hoobae? he scoffed. "youi really just see me as a hoobae?" the you has an i that shouldnt be there. so you, not youi.

another part i found weird is "i'm not gary oppa" hanbin is not a female so he really shouldn't be calling gary and referring to him as oppa. it'd probably be "i'm not gary." or "i'm not gary hyung" if you want to be specific. but oppa wouldn't be used while hanbin is talking.

CHARACTERIZATION.
wasn't expecting jihyo at the ending, it kind of confused me because did she love him outside of the dream or not? and did she cheat in reality too or just the dream? i mean it's good to leave it open-ended because then people can try to figure it out but jihyo was more confusing because of the end.
for hanbin, he seemed sweet at least in the dream he was.

PERSONAL ENJOYMENT.
i usually never read these types of fanfics since i don't read straight stuff or stuff on aff besides what i'm requested (because too lazy to look and i read elsewhere) but out of the 4 fics i've reviewed so far, i liked this one the most. i don't really know anything about these idols in real life so i think that also made it more enjoyable because i cant really see them to be "out of character" since i have no clue how they actually are.

also i noticed it was your birthday! i didn't stalk you i promise. so happy birthday to you! have a good one.