Having everything you want and seeing the people that you love so happy and contented with life is really a wonderful feeling. You can’t ask for anything more.

Days, weeks and months passed by and I’m getting weaker by the minute. Exactly five months ago, things are still going smooth and easy for me, but for some reason, my body fell flat and it really is a drag for I can’t do anything to make myself feel better.

Nothing happened with the plans that we made. Our trip to Sri Lanka was cancelled because my doctors didn’t permit me to travel. According to them, I’m too fragile for a long journey and too sensitive to even be in a trip. It , but I don’t have a choice coz I’d rather not push through with what I want to do than risk mine and the baby’s life. I guess this is the start of it. I’m about to go through a lot again and no matter how I prepare myself for it, it seems like I can’t even get a hold on it.

“Oh gosh” my baby bump is really giving me a back pain and I’m telling you, it’s so painful that there are times wherein I’ll just choose to lie in bed than sit or stand.

I’m eight months pregnant now (going nine) and a happy mother because my baby is growing so well inside my belly. If you’re wondering about its gender, well, we’re on the same boat for we don’t know if we’re going to have a boy or a girl. It’s quite crazy of us to not know the baby’s gender, but we really love the thrill so I guess we just have to wait till I give birth to know if it’s going to be a pink room or a blue room.

“Jiyong” I called while shaking him by the shoulder.

My husband needs to wake up now because we’re going to do a lot today and I don’t want to miss out on anything.

“Jiyong….wake up now…it’s already late” I’m getting pissed and I’m about to reach boiling point already.

I’m hormonal. VERY hormonal that I always feel so irritated and there are even times wherein I don’t want to socialize at all. I swear, this is the hardest thing to deal with.

“mmmm” he turned his body to the wall with his back facing me.

I took a deep breath to calm myself “Jiyong…get up now….it’s almost eleven in the morning and we still got lot of things to do” the tone of my voice clearly says that I’ve already reached the end of the line and if he’s going to go on with this act, I’ll go ballistic already.

Today is going to be so hectic for me and him coz I’m going to receive my last chemo treatment before giving birth and it’s going to be intense according to my doctors, so before being tortured by it, I’ve decided to have some fun first and from how things are going now, it seems like it’s not going to be possible for my husband is still in dreamland.

“You don’t want to wake up” I got out of bed “Fine!” then threw a pillow on him.

“Yaaaaa” he protested when it hit him.

G-dragon sat up, rubbed his eyes like a little kid then looked at me with darting eyes “What’s up with you?” he asked, making me roll my eyes.

I smirked “Kwon Jiyong….I think you’ve already forgotten…we have a lot of plans for today and it’s already late…how will we be able to do them all?” I asked.

Here goes my intense emotions once again. To all you women out there who will surely go through pregnancy sooner or later, I’m warning you, this stage is where all your emotions are kicking in. You’ll feel like a crazy human being coz there are times wherein you’ll go from happy to mad to sad to giggly to grumpy to sensual so on and so forth. It’s a deep and wide pool of emotions wherein once you let yourself drown, you’re in ruins.

“Aigoo” my husband reached for my hand then pulled me down to bed beside him.

He moved closer then wrapped his arms around me from the back “My baby is feeling bad because of me once again” he said with his chin resting on my shoulder.

“How can I not feel bad?” I turned to face him “We have planned this day so well and you’re being a pain in the ” I said, making him laugh so hard.

“Omo omo….look at this woman….I’m a pain in the ?” he asked and I giggled.

“Not literally though” I joked and both of us cracked up in laughter.

Thankfully, he got his out of bed and we rolled after eating breakfast. I’m in my happy mood now even though I’m feeling so heavy and sick.

“Are you sure you want to push through with this?” G-dragon asked while helping me with my seatbelt.

I sighed “Yes…so sure” I answered, receiving a heavy sigh from him.

If before, I can still move well and pretty much do everything without exerting so much effort. Now, I’m limited and it’s all because my body can’t carry my baby bump that much. I’m thinner and weaker than before. Oh well, it doesn’t matter to me coz what’s important is our baby and its well-being. I may be thin and weak, but I know that I’m giving the baby the nutrition that it needs.

Actually, I thought that I’m going to be in bed rest when I reach my 6th month but it didn’t went that way and it’s all because the baby is growing so well that it doesn’t need to be monitored that much. I don’t know, but I think this miracle that God gave us is really meant for us since it’s not giving us a hard time like what we thought before it came. I’m telling you, up until now, the doctors still can’t believe that the baby is not affected even if I’m under medications and intensive treatments. The chances of me surviving the birth are getting high and I’m holding on to a thin thread of hope that I’ll really make it.

“This is going to be a long drive…you know that?” he asked while driving.

I gave a nod “Yeah…but it’s gonna be so much fun” I told him, making him smirk.

“Fun for you” he looked at me and I just gave out a smile “But for me?” he sighed “It’s gonna be hell”

It made me laugh. I moved closer to him then rested my head on his shoulder “You’ll be fine Jiyong…don’t worry…I’ll cheer for you” I said and he just stayed silent.

And because all I want is to enjoy my life when I still can, we are heading to Chuncheongbuk-do to do Bungee Jumping at Cheongpung land. Months ago, I told G-dragon about my desire of finishing the list that he made years ago. At first, he was telling me to not continue with it anymore since I’m in a very delicate condition, but after a lot of talks and convincing, he gave in, making me really happy.

“There are only two left on the list” I said while looking at my notebook.

He took a deep breath “What’s the other one?” he asked.

“Discover life’s purpose” I read then looked at him.

He sighed then stopped the car on the curb (he always do this whenever he’s driving and he wants to clear something).

“Why did we stop?” I asked curiously.

He turned to face me “Kenken…that number should’ve been crossed out a long time ago” he said and I looked at the list once again.

“Huh?” I’m lost and confused.

My husband grabbed the notebook from me “Pen” he asked and I dig in my purse for it.

“Here” I handed it to him and he removed its cap using his mouth.

“I’ll cross this out” he said and did it even before I protest.

After crossing number 23 out, he gave the notebook back to me “Jiyong…why did you cross it out?” I asked curiously.

He smiled then reached for my hand “Because I’ve discovered my purpose in life a long time ago already” he answered.

“Aigoo” he said then sighed “Kenken” he caressed my cheek gently, bringing me chills down my spine.

“My purpose here on earth is to entertain people and to somewhat inspire them” he continued.

What he said really made me smile. How come I didn’t think of this before? Gosh!

“And most importantly” he held my hand then kissed it “I’m born in this world to be your other half…I was put here to take care of you and love you”

Here we go again. Ever since our heated conversation months ago, he’ll always remind me of how much he loves me and it feels so good. I must admit, I was such an that day coz I kinda pushed him away from me already and is being so negative as well, but you can’t blame me, I’m just stating a fact that I might not make it once I give birth and I have to let him know that life should go on for him before it’s too late.

I don’t know, but every day, I keep on praying that if I’ll be taken away from him and our child in a few weeks, I want him to go through life wonderfully as possible even if I know that it’s so hard to handle a heartbreak and a loss all at the same time.

“This is so freakin scary” G-dragon said while looking at the tower where he’ll jump from.

Why do I feel so nervous about this? Oh my! Just by seeing the high tower is already killing me, what more if I’m going to jump out? Maybe this is really a bad idea. I don’t think I can make G-dragon jump out anymore.

“uhhhmmm” I stopped from walking.

He looked at me curiously “Why did you stop? Are you feeling sick?” he asked and I shook my head.

“Yaaa…you’re going pale” he said while looking at me intently.

“Jiyong” I called.

“mmmm”

“Do you really want to do this?” I asked with all the nerves in my body in alarm.

He chuckled “I knew it….you’re afraid for me” he said and I gave him a shy nod.

“Aigoo…my wife” he pulled me for a hug then kissed my temple “This’ll be so good…it looks scary…but I’m willing to try it”

“But what if the rope can’t hold you? What if it snaps?  I swear Jiyong…this is really giving me chills” I told him, making him laugh.

“It’s gonna be fun…promise” he’s really going to push through with this and I’m feeling so scared for him.

Yes, I’m the one who convinced him to do this, but I’m a bit regretful of it already coz I feel like I’m putting my husband’s life in danger with this bungee jumping thing.

And off he go! He’s unstoppable. Actually, the adventurous and thrill seeking side of G-dragon rarely comes out of him and it’s totally shocking.

My man is looking so brave while standing at the edge of the jump board. I feel bad because I can’t cheer for h