“Till when are you going to wait?” Dami Noona asked while feeding my nephew.

I sighed “Forever” I answered, earning a smack on the head from her.

“Yaaaa….wake up! If she’s not for you….she’s not for you….if you’re not meant to be….don’t push it”

Here we go again. Why is that everyone keeps on talking about my problem with Billie? Can’t they just leave me alone and let me be?

“Noona….I know that you just want me to snap out of this freakin love problem…but….I’m sorry….I can’t….no…let me correct that…I won’t” I told her.

She sighed heavily then shook her head “Jiyong-ah….you know that I love you….right?” she asked and I gave her a nod.

“You also know that all I want is for you to be well?” she asked again and I nod once again.

“I don’t usually give a damn on your relationships….but….this is just too much….it’s been what? Almost a month since that girl broke up with you…can’t you just move on?”

I feel really bad for my family wasn’t able to meet Billie when we’re still together. I bet if they happen to meet, my sister will understand why I keep on pushing myself to Billie. That girl is a great find. She’s for keeps. If only my family knows how a wonderful person she is.

“….forget about her….date another girl if you want….you don’t need someone who is just making you wait for nothing….coz I’m telling you Jiyong….she doesn’t love you enough” I cannot believe that I’m hearing this from my own sister.

Dami Noona has never come between me and my girlfriend or a girl that I want. Not once did she tell me that she doesn’t want a certain girl for me. She always gives me support and even helps me whenever I’m having problems handling a relationship. I just can’t understand now why she’s being like this with Billie.

“How can you say that when you don’t even know her?” I asked in disbelief.

“I know that it’s bad to talk about somebody who you don’t know….but just think of this….she left you so easily….if she really loves you….she will try working things out with you….but she didn’t…..she gave up right away” Noona answered.

I don’t know how to defend Billie anymore. In the eyes of my sister, she’s just like any other girl who quits easily and is not deserving of my love. Yes, she didn’t tell me these things right in front of my face but this is what she’s trying to show me.

“Noona….she gave our relationship up because she wants peace for her family….what happened to her brother is enough reason to hate me…but she didn’t….her family didn’t even blame me for it….I’m the one who wrecked a good kid’s future….and no matter how you guys tell me to not blame myself….at the end of the day….all fingers should be pointed at me for I’m the reason why that kid is lying motionless in the hospital right now…I owe Billie and her family a lot….and Noona….believe me….she tried to save whatever we have….she tried to understand everything in my world….but it got the best of her….and that’s given….for she’s a free soul….and people like her cannot be locked in a cage….no matter how beautiful that cage is” I want to make my sister understand Billie and I’m hoping for her to at least change her view on her.

Noona sighed then pulled me for a hug “I know that I judged her right away….I’m sorry…..but….seeing you like this is hurting me and she’s the only person I can blame for it” she pulled out from the hug then cupped my face with both hands “Jiyong….do you really love her this much that you’re ready to give up everything just for her?” she asked.

I smiled then nod “I love her more than anything and everything in this world Noona…..believe me….I’ve tried brushing her off my mind and heart….but no matter what I do….she still lingers through me….all I want is to have her again and I’m getting really frustrated because I’m doing everything already but it seems like it’s not enough”

This is the worst that my sister had seen of me. Usually, I don’t give a damn on my love problems, especially when I’m with my family, but things are different now. It really shows that I’m shattered and totally lost.

After that talk with my Noona, I tried my best to not show whatever I’m going through to our parents. If there are people who I cannot hide to, they’re my parents. The reason why I want to hide my love problem is because I’m afraid that they might judge Billie too, like what my sister did. I actually regret not introducing Billie to them coz I know that if my family met her, they will love her right away for they will see how good and pure she is.

“Jiyong” Appa called while I’m playing with Jolie and Gaho.

I stopped what I’m doing then walked towards him “What is it Appa?” I asked.

He just stared at me then sighed “What is happening to you? We heard that your album is on hold….and it’s all because of you….is there something that we have to know?”

I don’t know how that news reached them, but I have a feeling that Noona is the one who told them for I told her about the album’s postponement and the reason why it’s on hold.

“This is nothing Appa….I’m just going through some phase....but don’t worry….it’s all cool” I reasoned out.

How stupid can I be? I’m trying to lie to my father when this man is one of those few people who can point out the wrong in me or if I’m lying or not in just a snap. He can even tell what I’m feeling just by looking at me and I’m sure that he is weighing me right now and maybe he already knows that I’m going through a love problem.

“Is this about your girlfriend?” I told you, he already knows it.

I sighed heavily and just stared at him.

“Aigoo” he led me to the chairs on the terrace “My ears are ready” he said then settled on the chair. He offered me the other and I sat on it with my mind telling me to not share everything for he might think that I’m going crazy over a girl who doesn’t love me as much as I love her, while my heart just wants to tell him everything just for it to be light in one way or another.

It took me minutes to gather myself. I don’t usually cry in front of my family or to anybody, but for some unexplainable reason, I have a feeling that I’ll be crying to my father while telling him how hurt I am with this break-up.

“….I did everything to protect her….but it’s not enough….I’m sure you know about what happened to her brother….the poor kid got hit by a bus because of my fans….not only that….her sister isn’t going to school anymore because she’s being bullied and followed by my fans everywhere….they are the best family that I know….well…of course…next to ours…” I started, earning a smile from my father.